Tangled Hearts
by Flora Mile
Summary: Bella life was everything she had dreamed it to be, a successful writer, a fiancé and everything is going the way she wants it. Until one unfaithful night changed it all. Edward has seen enough tragedy, the loss of his parents, now his brother. When their paths cross, will either of them be left standing or will they truly heal?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.

Welcome to this story, I started it a while ago, but got a bit discouraged. I love and respect everyone comments and that is the reason I put the story on hold and now I have two wonderful ladies helping me out.

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Liz my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

So sit back and take the ride with my two crazy characters and their families.

That is all of the formalities taken care of!

**Tangled Hearts**

**Prologue**

Thinking back over the past year, I could not believe where I was now. It had taken a while to get where I am, but with months of therapy, after everything that has happened, I was feeling good about my place in life. I was focused and prepared for everything life was going to throw at me in five months.

I had decided to go it alone and have a family of my own, by myself. Now I was four months pregnant, and I thought I knew who the father was, because I picked him out, from the database. But now I am not so sure.

I received a phone call from Carlisle the other day informing me that the vile of sperm the lab sent across, read the number incorrectly and sent the wrong vile by mistake.

Now I had no idea who's baby was growing inside of me and I was upset, frustrated and down right angry. I had been speaking to Edward about the mix up and he said as long as the baby was mine what did it matter.

Oh for heaven's sake, of course it mattered.

I had picked out that donor for a reason. I wanted the attributes he was offering. I had a certain height, eye colour, and medical history for a reason. I wanted the best outcome for my child. I wanted to make sure that the donor family medical history was as close to clean as possible.

The donor was an architect and he provided three years worth of educational history. He came from blue-collar parents, just like me, and his parents work hard to give their children whatever they could. His donor number was 857496254, but the number they inseminated me with was 857469254.

Now if you look closely the numbers the picker fucked up, was sixty-nine. You know what number I should have got, ninety-six! Out of all the numbers in this world, it had to be sixty-nine.

I got a sick feeling that something was not right about this and it was going to take them about two weeks to figure out who belonged to this number.

Two weeks, I was going to have to sit here and stress, and this was not good for my baby.

I was stressing about everything.

No matter what, I would love this baby!

My fears were all normal, I was telling myself, but I could not cope with the questions I was asking myself. I never thought I was a racist, but I felt like one now.

I had friends that came from different religions. What happened if the vile I received and inseminated with was a religion I did not know much about like Hinduism, Judaism, Islam or even Buda'i? How do I deal with that, I only knew how to be Catholic? Would I be a bad mother if I didn't incorporate their religion into his or her life? Would my child be happy being brought up in a Catholic house?

Then there was the height, I wanted the person I picked to be over 6" tall and what if the person I got was 5", I know I would have to deal and keep my fingers crossed, but I picked this person for a reason, what if I ended up with a fiery red head, that looked nothing like me, people are going to think I stole the baby.

See the crap I was stressing about.

All I should have been worrying about was the health of my child. Here I was putting undue stress on my baby and myself. I needed to do something to get my mind off of what was happening and I knew just whom to call.

Edward, so far he had been my rock through all of this.

So tell me what you think, all comments are good ones, even if they are bad. Once again I would like to thank both Kasi and Liz I have re-written the prologue, as the original seemed to confuse everyone. This will be from both Bella's and Edward's point of views, it will alternate between them.

I will be posting around every 3 weeks.

So thank you again for taking the time to read my little story. It is one that is close to my heart and some of it is real to my life.

Fiorella


	2. When the going get tough!

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Liz (momma2fan) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 1**

**When the going get tough!**

**December 2009**

**BPOV**

I couldn't ask for a more perfect life. I am a thirty-two years old, published creative writer. I'm engaged to the prefect man, Felix. We were set to be married in November next year.

I've come a long way since I lived in the small town of Forks, where I attended school and lived a very monotonous life. It rained in Forks, it rained a lot. There was entirely too much green, everything was covered in moss and it was cold, wet, and I really missed the sun! My dream was to go to college somewhere sunny and warm, I was looking at going to places like Arizona, California, and even Texas, but as time went on and I got older, my ideals changed and education won, over the warmth and the sun.

I moved to New York for college. Not the rainiest place on the earth, but still it still had its fair share and it was also cold most of the year round. You could say I moved from one extreme to the next. I went from a sleepy town, to a city that never sleeps. That is what I was looking for, I wanted the fast paced, hustle and bustle of people around me, it was necessary for me to get my college years done and I wanted to start my working career. It was essential in my life to be a successful writer, a household name like Wilbur Smith, Stephen King, and Matthew Reilly. I wanted to be known for something different and exciting.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here; let me tell you a bit more about my childhood.

I am the daughter of Charles, but most people know him as Charlie and Renee Swan. I entered this world on the thirteenth of September 1977. My father at the time was a deputy and my mother was a teacher. As I grew up I made friends with some of the local kids, Angela, Ben, Jessica, and Mike. Since leaving Forks our friendships have become absent. I must admit. I am still friends with Angela, but it's mostly on 'Facebook' and I get the occasional email from her, telling me all the happenings in Fork's.

When I was younger my personality was subtler, I was never one for tea parties or sleep over's. As an only child I formed a love for reading and creating my own adventure in the back yard. My parent's house backed in to a thick swarming forest and now most of my stories originated from some of those adventures of my childhood. My mother always told me I had a wild and vivid imagination even then. When it was raining and I couldn't venture outside, I would bring those escapades inside. There were occasions where I would involve other members of my family, especially my father when he got home from work.

When I turned four my father thought I needed a play-mate. Looking back on it now, I think he did it to get some peace and quite - so he bought a family dog. I wished for a brother or sister at every birthday and for Christmas, but every year it never seemed to happen. Charlie felt that a dog would be a good alternative. I found out a while ago that mom had complications when she was delivering me and once she healed the doctors advised her not to have any more children.

My parents always wanted a large family but following the doctors advice, they gave up. Instead we raised German Sheppard's, that were also K9 police dogs. Samson was the first to expand our family not only was he a good guard dog and worked with dad, but he became my partner in crime. Looking back, the poor sod had to put up with a lot of crap from me. I would dress him as a prince in a couple my stories and I even went so far as to have my mom make him clothes for these little adventures. A year later dad brought home Brute. Brute was from the same lineage as Samson. When they hit retirement age I became their main caregiver. I would take them on walks in the forest, to keep up their exercising. I also kept up their adventures when we went camping as a family. They had been trained and worked so long in the police force with dad, that I am sure they got bored if they didn't use their skills.

I remember when we lost Brute from old age. It tore my father up; he didn't want to replace him right away. Mom and I waited six months before we brought home Zora. My father loved her name, the meaning of the word, is aurora, or dawn. Zora was good for Samson. I think she kept him young at heart, and I felt like he enjoyed her company until he passed away. When mom and I bought Zora, we made sure she was from good linage, and came with papers. Dad decided to get Zora a friend straight away when Samson passed. This is how we ended up with Gunnar, dad's brave warrior. I have to say he was a fierce looking dog, and would scare the neighbourhood kids. However, when he was around us he was a big baby. Mom and dad still have Zora and Gunner. Dad has retired and they moved to Bronx, and started a dog breading business. Vassily is the newest member to join our family and he is the last son that was bred between Zora and Gunner. Dad actually looked this name up on the internet, he wanted something that meant 'great protector' and this is what he got from a Russian name site. Vassily, suits him; you cannot get near mom and dad's property in the Bronx, if he is roaming the property.

Mom had been a High School teacher when we lived in Forks. Most people would be embarrassed to have your mother teaching at the school you were attending, but for me that was not the case. I was fortunate to have a mother as a teacher, before I even started attending school, my mother made sure to teach me the basics, reading, writing and arithmetic. I would say that is where my obsession for learning came from. I wanted to become a writer, to give people like myself the enjoyment of learning and adventure. Story time was a big thing for me when I knew how to read, and Samson and Brute were always my audience. I would create a reading area outside or in – depending on the rain - and cover them up with blankets, making sure they were settled and then I would start reading them different stories. I would even showed them the pictures.

I have some of the best photos from my childhood with these two dogs hanging and displayed around my house.

Both of my parents retired three years ago, and moved to the Bronx to be closer to me. My mother still tutors the local kids, and my father can be seen working on his boat or out fishing most of the time now. He always has one or two of the dogs with him.

As you know I moved to New York after high school. I graduated from NYU, four years later. I had an Undergraduate in Education, with a minor in Creative Writing. I went back for more and received a Graduate degree in Creative Writing. I learnt every aspect of literary arts; writing, reading, teaching, publishing and community outreach. Writing my own story was a challenge and once I started, I had so many ideas for different stories that in the end I merged them all into one book. From there, I broke the book down into different Were animal books.

These books was targeted toward adults and written for adults, but the younger adults were the ones that made them what they are today. Harpers Collins Publishers picked up my first book, which are Were fantasies for female adults. It did not take long for this book to make it onto the New York Times Best Sellers and over night I was a household name. I have written eight different stories about weres and tied them altogether; I centered them in and around capital cities of America and Canada. I still have four more to write with my existing contract.

I have now started a childrens book about fairies that they have started publishing. I have personal selfish reasons for starting this book. Felix and I are thinking of starting our family, after we are married in November. I wanted to be able to read to them something that I had created.

I've been looking forward to getting home from the books promotional tour I had been on for the last three weeks. I helped organize this one with the assistance of Senna, my editor, and Zafrina, my publicist. I wasn't supposed to be back in town for two more days, but we finished up early for a change after the book signing in Philadelphia. Now I was driving back home to my brownstone on the Upper East Side. It was my first purchase when I hit the number one best seller list. I really didn't believe my books would take off that fast and it was a nice surprise.

Felix was excited when I signed with Harpers Collins. He said he knew my books would take America and the world by storm, but I was doubtful at first. I met Felix while in college. We were both in a creative writing class together. It was an elective for him and we helped each other out by bouncing ideas off each other. Felix was studying philosophy and I found it interesting to talk about different topics with him. I had not really delved into philosophy at all, until I met him and now I find it fascinating and read some of the books that Felix has collected of the years. Once we graduated, I kept up with my writing and did my masters and he went on to get his as well.

Felix always wanted to be a professor, and once he graduated - top of his class – he started teaching and is now a professor, teaching at NYU, to say the position suits him is an understatement. Felix and I have been together for over eight years and only a month ago I asked him to move in to the Brownstone. At first it was a little rough but now we are blissfully happy, I could not ask for more in my life.

Felix didn't like the house at first; he thought it was too big for me. In retrospect it probably is, but I am hoping we can fill it with the children that we always talk about. I would like to have four, and Felix coming from a large Italian family would like to have around six or seven children. I am not sure what fantasy island he is living on, but there is no way I am pushing out six kids or more. I believe four is a well-rounded figure and more than enough. I was not breeding a sports team.

With the wedding preparations started, we have the date set, The Holy Trinity Catholic Church on West 82nd Street booked and the Le Bernardin restaurant reserved for the reception. We have agreed upon a red theme for the wedding and this weekend I am going and looking for wedding and bride's maid dresses with Kate and Charlotte. I was hoping to get Vera Wang to design my dress, but since everyone uses her these days, I am keeping my options opened. I have an appointment with Justin Alexander in the afternoon, it is the only one I have made. I have no idea what I want or what would look good on me. The only thing I do know is that I don't want to look like a huge meringue.

As I turned on to my street I was looking forward to having a hot shower and some cuddling time with Felix. I didn't call to let him know him I was coming home early; not only did I want to surprise him but I also knew he had grading to do, so I knew he would be home.

I was lucky to find a parking spot right in front of the house. It was too late to drop the rental off and I had plenty of time to do it in the morning. I gathered all my belongings and went and pulled my small suitcase from the trunk and making sure the car was secure. I trudged up the stairs. I let out a sigh of relief as I opened the front door. The notes from The Queen of Spades floated around my ears as I entered the foyer. Felix loved playing Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. It had become routine for Felix when he was grading his students work. It also gave me an indication that he was indeed home. It was one of his favourite opera's, but I personally found it a bit depressing. It is one of those unlucky in love, and lucky at cards things, and in the end the guy takes his own life. See, told you depressing.

I close and lock the front door, leaving my suitcase in the front entryway. I walk into the kitchen put my purse down and look through the mail. Finding nothing of importance and everything else that can wait till tomorrow, I headed into the office, thinking that Felix would be there. I noticed his computer was switched on, but no Felix to be found.

I walk back to the front of the house and collect my suitcase and head up the stairs to our bedroom on the top level. Originally the master bedroom was on the third level, but that room didn't appeal to me as much as the room on the top level. There was less street noise, and I loved having it overlook the small garden. It had a lovely large en-suite, with both a large claw foot bath, and separate shower. There was a second bedroom on this level, which I used as my office, I surrendered the downstairs office to Felix. He said he liked the light in that room, I personally feel he just didn't want to walk up the eight flights of stairs more than once a day. I looked at it as my daily exercise.

I got to the top of the landing, and I noticed that the light was on in our bedroom. Felix must be getting ready for bed, and the more I thought about my weary bones, the nicer a hot shower sounded and cuddle time was even closer. I really was looking forward to catching up with Felix after the last three weeks apart.

Thinking of coming home, is what always got me though the book signings and tours, even if I was away for a couple of days. This was the best part of coming home knowing that Felix was there waiting for me. No matter how tired or emotional I felt after a tour, quality time, alone with Felix, always made every emotion disappear. Well except the intense feeling of need. Sex with Felix was always hard and fast, after my long trips away. I would say it was close to animalistic. We were always left panting and very satiated. Once we got our needs for each other satisfied, it was slow, loving and sensual the next time around, we would worship each other.

I was so caught up in thinking about the last time I was away, and the homecoming that I received that when I approached the door and heard a female voice on the other side, I was shocked.

_Fuck, there is no way he would do this to me._

My heart rate picked up. My blood rushed through my veins, and my world got a little fuzzy. I could not believe the different thoughts running though my head. The amount of diverse feelings that were running though my body: shock, horror, disbelief, anger, hatred, and apprehension of walking into that room, it was all getting to me.

_Felix would not do this to me. Maybe he is watching a movie or some porn. That could be possible, which could account for the noises coming from the room._

"Oh, Felix, you're so big," I heard the female voice moan out. "Fuck me harder baby, show your naughty slut what you're made of."

"That's right baby, tell daddy how big he is," I heard Felix growl. "You want it hard baby? Well daddy is going to show you just how powerful his rocket is!"

_You have got to fucking kidding me?_

_That is no bloody porn movie. He is really in there with some other woman. Talking dirty and using words like… Rocket? Daddy? Powerful?_

"Way to state the obvious, there Bella!" I muttered to myself.

_There is no way this is happening in our house or in our fucking bed?_

_Yeah that is what he is doing…_

_Fucking some woman in our bed._

_He is one dead greasy motherfucker!_

**Authors Note:**

Feel free to leave any comments, good or bad, it is the only way that I become a better writer.


	3. Who really is Edward Cullen?

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Liz (momma2fan) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 2**

**Who really is Edward Cullen?**

**April 2010**

**EPOV**

I never wanted for anything in my whole life! I did have wonderful parents Edward, Sr. and Elizabeth, and losing them was hard on my brother and me. That was coming up to eight-years-ago. We were a close family but over the years after the boating accident that killed my parents; my brother and I seemed to have drifted apart. Don't get me wrong we still see each other, but not as much as I would like to. Both of our jobs keep us busy and we never seem to be able to fit in to each other's schedule unless it's Holidays, Birthdays or the occasional weekend, when I am not in the operating room.

I am thirty-four-years-old and a heart surgeon. I took after my father and uncle Carlisle by going into the medical field. My father was a Neurologist and uncle Carlisle is a Gynecologist and now a world-renowned In Vitro Fertilization specialist. Neither field appealed to me so I decided to go into Cardiovascular Surgery. There is something about holding a person's heart in your hands that makes you feel powerful.

My mother was the typical housewife with an added New York flare. Her weekly routine consisted of attending morning teas, benefit lunches, benefits in general, charity dinners, hospital galas, art exhibits, and whatever other function she saw fit to attend. Mom loved community service of any kind as long as it was productive and helping the community in the right way. Elizabeth was always a mother first; if we had a school function or sporting event she would schedule everything else around it. After school activities were always encouraged. I remember the time Alec wanted to try Ballet, I told him it was for girls and when he got to the class, he was the only male. I think he lasted three lessons, before he came home and told mom it wasn't for him.

The memories I remember and cherish the most are of football and baseball season. Mom was always in the bleachers in full team colors cheering us on. She was our biggest fan whether we won or lost. Elizabeth always told us that as long as you did your best on the day and gave it you're all, you could never be disappointed in the outcome. Learn from where you think you went wrong and improve on it.

Not once did my mother and father every say a discouraging word to us. Edward, Sr. was a stern and strong man. Whenever we were pulled into his office for doing something wrong, he never told us we were failures or disgracing the family name. Don't get me wrong, I felt his hand on my ass a few times for doing things I shouldn't have, and it shaped me in to the man I am today. I will never forget the first and last time I ever mooned someone in public. Let me tell you, five swift smacks on my backside from my father's hand, never had me doing shit like that again. But neither of my parents ever had a bad word to say to us or about us. I can see my brother is the same with his kids.

Even though Edward Sr. was a busy doctor on weekends he would sit in the library with me while I practiced the piano. He would read whatever journal needed to be read, while I plunked away on the keys. Elizabeth wanted us to be well-rounded young men. To achieve this we had to play and instrument and take ballroom dance lessons. The dance lessons only lasted till we went to high school.

Have I told you how much I miss my parents?

Esme and Elizabeth were twin sisters, even though Esme took Alec and I under her wing after our mothers death, it was never the same! I know I can talk to Esme and Carlisle about anything, but sometimes I just wish I could talk to my parents again – just one more time, to be able to say a final goodbye, or tell them that I loved them. I know it is selfish of me to still want my parents around. Even though Carlisle and Esme are great substitutes, my dad just had this presence that calmed me when I couldn't think straight. He would always know what to say and how to help me. Mom on the other hand, had a way that one hug from her would make my whole world just right itself. I miss that the most.

Alec and I were away at college, when my parents' accident happened. Even though Alec is older than I by two years - when he got into Harvard Law, my father thought it was paramount that I attend Harvard as well. Once I had chosen to become a doctor, it was a no brainer. I wanted to be where my family was, and I will always be grateful that I was on that horrid day.

I remember the day as if it was yesterday when Alec came into one of my lectures. He was pale as a ghost, excusing himself to my professor and telling him he needed to see me. After that, all I remember was arriving at the airport in Boston, exiting in New York and going straight to Carlisle and Esme's house! Uncle Carlisle was already on a plane to Milwaukee to organize everything. I was appreciative that neither my brother nor I had to go through that. The days following are still a bit of a blur. I remember going but don't actually remember much of anything about the service. I was thankful for one thing that was constant in my life - Alec. I have never needed anyone as much as I needed him during that time. We would sit and reminisce about when we were youngsters and it felt good to laugh. Just before we headed back to college, Alec and I cleaned out mom and dad's room of all their clothes, but left everything else the same.

Alec and Jane live in the Brownstone now. I didn't want it – too many memories. I had my penthouse and I was happy. I remember their wedding day when I handed over my present to them. I had signed my half of the house over to Alec; I had no need for it, and the Brownstone fundamentally was a family home and all it needed was a family. Alec and Jane were that family. Mom and dad would love the fact that Alec and his family lived there now. I still had my room on the top floor, but I cleaned it out of all my personal belongings. It just wasn't the same once my parents had passed. One thing we did find while cleaning out the house and attic, were mom and dad's university memorabilia. Alec and I picked out the pieces we wanted and split the rest between us. There are photos of them at college games and events, awards they both won, their degrees. I had some of the photos replicated – that Alec had - and they hang on the walls in my penthouse.

My father and Carlisle both went to John Hopkins University and Carlisle thought it would be wonderful for me to go to the school they went to, but as I said my father had other plans and seeing as Alec and Emmett were already at Harvard. I was happy to go where my brother and cousin were; at least then I would know someone. I was also fortunate that Jasper would be coming along with me, so it was a family affair. Our parents rented us a house just near campus where we all lived. The house was a little bare after Alec and Emmett finished their degrees. Jasper and I talked to our parents and it was decided that our friends James and Mike could move in. I was glad that Jasper and I had sat down and set house rules for these two. At every turn they were trying to turn our house into party central, but since Jasper and I were nearing the end of medical school and heading into our first year of residency; that was our main focus, not partying. Jasper and I were not as lucky to have photographic memory like James did!

Jasper and I were lucky to get our first choice for our residency at New York Presbyterian University Hospital of Columbia and Cornell.

I still worked for Presbyterian, and I love my job. Okay maybe not the long hours or late nights, but I enjoy what I do. I work with my family and the friends that I met in college, it might have taken us a while to all work together at Presbyterian, but we have managed it.

Alec, my brother graduated as a corporate lawyer working for one of the top firms here in New York. Two years after my parents died my brother married his college sweetheart Jane and three years ago they had twins. A boy they named Benjamin and a girl that they named Tia. I love those munchkins to bits, but I also love handing them back after their visits. Tia is a little princess and takes after her mother in that respect. Benjamin, well he is a man's man. He hates anything and everything to do with girls. All he wants in life is football, baseball, and his Meccano set. Give him Meccano or Lego's and I can guarantee that you will not see him for hours.

My view of Ben is he is similar to his mother, she is an interior designer, I have a feeling he will follow in her footsteps, and will turn out to be an engineer of some sort or an architect. I don't often get the chance to sit with Ben and help him build, so when I do, I am like him, you won't see me for hours. My brother joins us most of the time and it becomes a male bonding session, where we talk sports, sports and more sports. Ben also fills us in on what he has been doing. I haven't seen them since Christmas. I had to work over the Easter holidays and with the schedule I am keeping at the hospital, my life has been crazy. The only times I see any of my family is at the hospital, and then it is only a brief hello.

Thinking about the hospital, always reminds me, of my uncle Carlisle and aunt Esme. They have been my rock since my parents passed, I'm sure Alec would agree with me on that. As I have mentioned Carlisle is also a doctor and it seems to run in the family, Esme was a pediatrician and decided to retire last year. Nowadays Esme is happy to sit on the board of a few different charities and help with the organizing of fundraisers for these charities. This allows her to spend more time with her grandkids. She was exhausted with working the long hours at the hospital, she felt they were taking her away from her family. Now that she's sixty-one-years-old, Esme said it was time for her and her family. I've noticed that Carlisle has been scaling back his hours too, and I'm sure he is looking at retiring in the next couple of years.

Jasper and Emmett are my cousins, who also happen to be my best friends and co-workers at Presbyterian. Jasper, married to his high school sweetheart Alice and they have two beautiful children, Jayden and Sophia who are five and three. Jayden is a spitting image of his father in every way, but occasionally you will see a little of Alice, he definitely gets his energy from her. To watch them when they play together makes you laugh, Sophia can get Jay to do almost anything, but at the end of the day, they truly are best friends. If Sophia hurts herself, Jay is right there holding her hand and wiping her tears away.

Jasper has a calming presence and is a thinker. The way he analyzes everything, he looks at every single angle and then goes over it again, it's no wonder he became a Neurologist. Whereas Jayden has the same calming presence, he also likes to keep moving, not as fast as Alice, but he likes to be active. He isn't in to playing video games or sitting in front of the T.V. Jayden likes to be outdoors, whether it be climbing trees, playing games of tag with his sister, going on exploration expeditions in the back yard, in the pool playing Marco Polo or just sitting under a tree with his favorite book, but even then one of his legs is still bouncing.

Sophia she is a mixture of both her mother and father, they are going to be in for a world of pain when she gets older. She has slim features like her mother, very beautiful, with these big blue eyes like her dad and black straight hair like her mother. She has Alice's pouty lips and knows how to use them to her advantage to get us men to play dress up. When she gets the quiver going on her chin, it's all over. You should have come dressed already in skirt, heels and a big ridiculous hat. Makeup days were the best, when it wasn't happening to you, the amount of times Jasper has answered the door with make-up caked on his face and a feather boa wrapped around his neck, I've lost count of. I always tried to put my foot down on wearing that pink feathery crap, but Sophia's little lips would pout and her little chin would wobble and I would drape it around my neck faster than Superman flies. I am sure Alice has bribery photos of all of us men sitting around Sophia's table on those tiny pink chairs, done up to the nines for a tea party.

Emmett is the one I feel for, he wanted a boy so badly, from the moment he found out Rosalie was pregnant, but alas the man got a girl, and now a second one. Emmett wants to try for a third but at the moment Rose is standing on a firm no. I don't blame her; she only gave birth five months ago. They named her Natalya, because she was born six days before Christmas. She is the apple of her father's eye. She has just started to figure out what her name is and she laughs at nearly everything. Emmett is her main source of entertainment, he can be a big goofy kid when he wants and will always get a laugh.

Emmett has help from big sister, Luciana to keep Natalya laughing and happy. Rose and Emmett are going to need an electric fence to keep the boys away when she gets older. She is a spitting image of her mother. Bright blue crystal eyes, blond curly hair and the attitude to match, but her personality is that of her father, she loves to play jokes on everyone and she tells the worst jokes possible. You can't help but laugh. Luciana is a wonderful big sister and at the age of three; soon turning four, Luciana loves to remind you; she loves her little sister. I can remember asking her one-day what she was hoping mommy would have. She was adamant with her answer, she was standing in the middle of the room, one hand on her hip the other pointing around the room at all of us as she said "I wanna sister, cause boys has germs!" she stated. Alec and I broke up laughing, we were in tears and I could see Emmett sulking in the corner.

They are all adorable and I love them just like I love Alec and Jane's kids. They are my world, and they all ground me.

You are all probably wondering why I haven't settled down?

Well the truth of the matter is why should I? I have everything I need around me, and as I have already pointed out, I'm a heart surgeon. My job is my wife, and I don't have enough time to add a family to it. The honest and real truth is I have not met the one. The excuse I use with my family is I love my lifestyle too much. I love going out to bar's or clubs on my nights off with my buddy James, but I also enjoy my time at home, alone. I like not having to answer to anyone. I come from a privileged family, where your trust fund is in the millions, and my brother and I inherited the family fortune when my parents passed away. I believe that trust is the biggest issue I have when I can fit dating into my schedule.

My father came from old money; his father's father was in the Tobacco business and made a good living from it. Edward, Sr. went to college and used his money for investments and to buy property in New York. Over time he turned it into millions. To this day some of those investments are still working for my brother and me. Over the years each generation has added to the property portfolio that my Grandfather started.

So the Masen name is well known in high society New York. I went to functions with the likes of the Roosevelt's, Vanderbilt's and Rockefeller's, plus many more. I loved the social scene from a young age and I haven't stopped since. I was the usual Upper Eastside child, I had wealth at my disposal and when I went to college, I found it hard to find out whom my true friends were. It was even harder to figure out which girls wanted to date me or the Masen money. It was easier to stay close to my cousins.

Over time we extended our circle to add James, Royce, Mike, Marcus and Tyler. The eight of us would go everywhere together on holidays. Once we all finished our degrees, before most of us started our residencies or jobs. We went to Europe for a month, drinking and just letting off steam. Most of the guys had girlfriends apart from Mike, James and I.

Mike and James were and still are the biggest players in our group, they would screw anything with a pulse. I'm pretty sure they had been through the female population of New York. They would even go to the point of having nights when they would go too seedy bars and 'slum it', their words not mine. Even I was not that cruel to go around degrading women like that or different societies and classes. We would all inform them of this, but the arguments that ensued, where just not worth the hassle anymore!

Mike's was an exhibitionist, he really was uninhibited; he loved to do everything public. I am amazed he hasn't been arrested more often, with some of the shit he has done. The worst one in my eyes was when he took this young lady on a date to Ellis Island and proceeded defile said girl against a wall under the Statue of Liberty for shits and giggles. I found this to be erroneous and immoral. I tend to stay away from his crazy ass unless I really have to see him these days. His stunts are getting out of hand and the ladies that he hangs out with - well the word 'skank' comes to mind, and even that is too good of a word for them.

James had become my wingman since my brother and cousins have gotten married. He sometimes is no better than Mike, but at least he likes to keep it private, so to speak. James likes the dangerous women. I am not talking about slap and tickle; I am talking about the unattainable. The engaged, the married ladies and the freakier they are, the better. I am all up for a bit of spanking; don't get me wrong the hand-cuffs can come out too. However, I don't like playing with my life. Suffocation while orgasaming is not my cup of tea, and I don't care how much it heightens your senses or how good it feels, consensual or not, that shit is just scary!

The sad thing in all of this is that James is a Gynecologist. The sick fucker couldn't get enough pussy, so he wanted to look at it all day long. I feel sorry for some of his clients, dirty, dirty man. Okay, I know I am being harsh on him, but I know what he is like, I lived with him.

I know at thirty-four I should be looking to settle down, but as I said, finding someone not after the name and money is not easy. Yeah, I can marry someone from the same social standings, but the ones I had met or were really interested in me, are all toffee nosed bitches. They are all about social status, who is dogging who, whom is sleeping with whose husband or wife, what designer is in or out, who has the biggest house, boat, holiday house in the Hamptons or bank account. I am an exceedingly personal person, when it comes to the family fortune and assets. I personally don't think it should be talked about. Yes I have it, and I like a comfortable life - you just have to look at my penthouse – but I don't like to flaunt it either. I don't want to marry someone that will make sure I am reminded of it every day, tell me what I have or should have, if that makes sense.

I want what my parents had, what my brother has. Shit, I even want what my uncle, aunt and cousins have. I want someone that will look beyond the money, someone that will see the real me. I will confess that there is a lot about me people don't know, that only my family are familiar with and I allow see. Hell, I have even kept certain parts of me from friends. Things like my love for my piano; the classical music I play on her that seems to sooth my soul. After an eight-hour operation and a twenty-four-hour shift, nothing relaxes me more. I have a weakness for mystery novels. I love to read John Grisham, but and my weakness is a good Agatha Christie; there is just something about the ambiguity in their writing that sucks me in. I hate to admit that I am a sucker for Batman comics. I have an immense collection and always keen on adding to it, it was the one passion my father and I shared.

Another vice of mine is my love for my penthouse. I bought it with some of my trust fund that I received on my twenty-first birthday. I had Jane organize everything for me. From finding the right architect, that could see the vision I had, and was able to recreate my dodgy sketches and create a masterpiece. Jane helped with the interior of my home, she helped me choose different color schemes, fixings, tiles, flooring, appliances, furnishings, everything. My 'mother' wanted in on the action, so when Jane had to go back to college Esme stepped in. She took control of ordering and the actual decorating process of my penthouse.

No matter how much money you have, it cannot buy taste. Some of these high society families that have antiques dating back to the Roman Empire are not for me. Don't get me wrong I love a timber four-post bed, but with carvings of cupids, love hearts, grapes, ivy vines and apples, not so much. When I was looking for somewhere to live, I looked at an assortment of places. That one I chose had these beautiful double rooms, with high ceilings. Everything matched, from the curtains to the bedspread, to the wallpaper. Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine. I have to confess, my place didn't look like much when I bought it, but I saw the raw potential. I wanted more modern architecture, with good, clean lines and this is why my mother and Jane were the right people for the job. They know me, and what I like!

My Penthouse is on West 58th Street. When I bought it, it had four bedrooms, and as I said it was completely gaudy – completely over the top. I had all the walls stripped of all the wallpaper and painted everything white. I made sure that when you stepped inside, you knew it was a man's house. The penthouse might be all on one level, but the openness made it look spacious. I had Italian white marble floor tiles installed all the way throughout. I know very sterile, but carpet just gets grubby after a while and this way I can change looks in ten years with ease and that is what I wanted to achieve. I don't like mess, and I hate clutter and I definitely don't like to pick up after anyone.

The living room, dining room and kitchen were one big open space. It has twenty-five foot high ceilings with large skylights. The room also features very large open windows, with glass arches. In the living room, I put two big three seat chocolate brown couches facing away from the kitchen. They're positioned so you can look out over the patio. From the patio, there is a gorgeous view of Central Park. The skylights that were already installed didn't fit with my plans, so we changed them out. The new sleek style turned the six square panels, into three large round ones. The new style not only made the décor snap, but also give an extra touch of natural light reflection to the room below.

Above the living room I decided there was a lot of wasted space and I needed somewhere for my beloved grand piano. My parents bought it for my fifteenth birthday and when they passed my bother thought I should have it. So I spoke with Jane and Esme and they organized the architect to draw up plans and submit them for city and building approvals. There was a lot of paper work that was necessary as Jane came up with a glass floor structural design. We didn't want to lose the light or the openness of the room. Once the architect said we had the approvals for the glass floor, a black spiral staircase was added to take you up to the landing, to enclose the area, Esme organized glass with a steel handrail.

In the middle of the room I had a rectangular twelve person, dark brown oak table; it was the only antique piece of furniture in house. When I saw this table I knew I had to have it. It was solid and once I had it sanded down and varnished it looked magnificent. We added a gas fireplace in to the wall; once again this feature was designed to break the room up.

The kitchen was simple, along the right hand wall were glass windows and along the left was pantry, in all the same color – black! I had an off white island bench which consisted of drawers for my plates and cutlery, sink, dishwasher and a wine chiller. Against the back wall behind the island, were the kitchen sink, oven, stove and more storage drawers. Above the appliances were black cupboards that I put all my glasses, cups, mugs and small cook-ware. The feature I find irresistible and needed to have in my penthouse is the large round single tear chandler hanging from the ceiling over the table. It reminded me of the medieval hanging lights, the one's you see in the old Victorian movies.

Next to the kitchen was my bedroom, I know it is an odd place to put a bedroom but I was able to get a larger bathroom and walk-in wardrobe if I did it this way.

My room was big enough to fit my large king size bed. On the wall with the windows, I in-layed in to the wall the TV, and underneath I had hung black drawers. All the doors that were though out my home were done in black. My bathroom was larger than most I was able to put in a nice long wall hung double vanity with oval above counter basins. I also had a large glass enclosed shower and a separate Jacuzzi bath. The toilet was at the far end in its own room. My mother had put two toilets in here, I am not sure why and I found it a bit odd. Can you imagine sitting on the toilet facing someone else while they were on the toilet... Yep see what I mean? Gross. When I told her this, she started laughing at me and told me that one of them was a bidet. I asked her why I had a bidet in my bathroom and she explained the function, which I was already familiar with mind you. In the end she told me it was for resale value. To this day I still laugh when I look at it.

As you walked down the right of the penthouse, you will see a corridor that leads to the two spare rooms and the media room. My personal heaven! As you walk along the corridor you will see pictures of my family throughout the years. From my both set of my grandparents all the way down to my nephew and nieces. I also have more family pictures in my bedroom, but these are more sentimental.

I had two guest rooms. They are not as large as the master bedroom but they were a good size that you could fit a queen bedroom set with no problems and still have room left over for some wall hung drawers. I also made sure that both of these rooms had their own bathroom. There is nothing worse than having to share a bathroom with a girl. Have you ever tried? They take up all their room and yours with all of their entirely unnecessary products collection. They have products for their face, hair, legs, arms, nails and any other area imaginable on their body. Don't forget bags full of make-up, drawers full of hair product, plucking utensils, cupboards filled with a hair dryer, teeth products, sterilizing and something for this and that. The list goes on and on and the reason it is all over the top of the vanity, is because their drawers are full with more of the crap that is already sitting on top. Really how much does one person need! How many different products of hair spray or wax does one person need? Moisturizer's; are they not all the same? Oh no, I learnt that the hard way! Here is a bit of useless information for you, the reason they need so many different moisturizers is because they are all different, there are some to help with tanning, then you have extra softening, or one that make your skin look younger and my personal favorite cellulite reduction. Here is an idea ladies stop buying crap that doesn't work, the woman in the picture never had cellulite to begin with… or have you ever heard of computer touch up, crap there I go again, getting off track.

My media room... once again the man's room. I had it tiled all the way through and at the far end I have an L shaped desk where I have my office set up. I also have a beautiful book collection here. I had the TV built in to the wall and under that I have a grey marble fireplace, just to give the room a bit of warmth. In front of the TV, I have huge L shaped eight-seater black leather couch. What I love about this couch is nearly every seat reclines apart from the three in the corner. Esme and Jane added red and grey cushions on to add some color in to the room. On the walls I also have some landscape paintings from my travels in Europe.

I know, I know, I live a very sterile life, both at home and work. You could say that I have a type 'A' type personality. Everything has a place, and I don't like mess, just like my operating room when I am at work. I don't need useless objects lying around collecting dust. I have pictures of my family and a few things placed here and there. That is what makes it my home.

I am looking forward to this afternoon; I have all my family coming over. Alec, Jane, Ben and Tia are staying the night, even though they don't live far, from me on the Upper East Side. This is the first weekend off I have had in a while and we are all coming together to celebrate Alec's thirty-seventh birthday. I have everyone turning up here, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rose, Natalya and Luciana, Alice, Jasper, Jayden and Sophia. A house full of laughter and noise is what I am really looking forward to.

I have everything already set up the in the lounge room and rearranged furniture, this way nothing gets damaged or broken and everyone can play on either the Wii or Xbox 360. I even went out and bought a new game, actually I bought about five for each console. I even went to the point of taking some of the pictures off the wall. Emmett had a problem with over excitement and usually ends up breaking something when he played. It was fun to watch him with them all the kids. He would sulk if anyone beat him at any of the games and when he would win the kids would gang up on Uncle Emmett.

I heard the buzzer as I was checking on the pork and vegetables in the oven. Here we go let the craziness begin.

**Authors Note:**

I hope you all enjoyed learning a bit about Edward. Now you know a little bit more about them. It will be smooth sailing for the next couple of chapters for our young Edward and there will be tissue alert for one of the chapters. In the end Edward will do what is right for him.

I hope you all have a happy Sunday/Saturday wherever you are.

Feel free to leave any comments, good or bad, it is the only way that I become a better writer.

Fiorella


	4. There are no shortcuts!

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Liz (momma2fan) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 3**

**There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going.**

**December 2009**

**BPOV**

I stormed into the room, guns blazing.

"What the fuck is going on here," I screamed. "Actually, don't answer, I can fucking see what's going on!"

Felix turned around and the girl shot up off the bed and I heard Felix scream in pain.

_Serves you right asshole!_ I thought.

"Bella, baby, I know what this looks like and I know it is not good but she means nothing to me."

"Don't give me your pathetic excuses," I stated, rolling my eyes at Felix. "Who are you?" I said turning my glare to the girl that was standing near the bed.

"I… I'm Heidi. I'm one of his students," the girl said as she was trying to pull covers off the bed to cover her.

"I would advise you get dressed, and get the fuck out of _my_ house before I do some damage to that pretty… How old you? Twenty?" I spat at her.

"I'm twenty-two, why how old are you?" She squared her shoulders and put her hands on her hips, staring me down.

"Old enough to know that you are sleeping with not only my fiancé, but also your professor, which, I believe, is against school regulations at NYU. So I suggest you get your ass dressed and out of my sight before I come over there and remove you from my house naked, without that sheet covering you and throwing you out onto the street."

"This is Felix's house and he invited me to stay the night!" Heidi huffed at me. "Why don't you leave _his_ house?" she then yelled at me.

"You stupid ignorant little girl, this is _not_, let me repeat, _not _Felix's house, this is _my_ house. Felix moved in a month ago _with me_ and now he's moving the fuck back out because of this." I said waving my arms at her. "So get your obnoxious ass moving and get the fuck out of _my_ house!" My anger was starting to take over.

Heidi's eyes nearly bugged out of her head and she collected her clothes and started walking towards me, as I was blocking her only exit. Heidi still had the sheet wrapped around her. She stood in front of me, waiting for me to move so she could pass. I moved aside and as she passed me, I ripped the sheet off from around her forcefully.

"You seem to have no problem fucking my fiancé in my bed, but I'll be damned if you take _my_ sheet with you. Now you can do the fucking walk of shame down my stairs naked. I expect you to be dressed and gone within five minutes," I growled at her.

Heidi took off running down the stairs as I turned around to Felix, he was next on my list and if he thought he could get away with this unscathed he was dreaming. What I had just done to Heidi was nothing compared to what I was going to do to him.

I glared at him waiting for any sort of excuse, apology, or reason, for what I had just witnessed in my house, in our… _my_ bed. Felix just seemed to be looking at me as if I had something interesting on my face or that it could give him the answer. Was he serious, he'd said nothing for what seemed like hours, but had actually only been minutes. My blood was starting to boil?

"You have nothing to say? You're looking at me as if I have the answers written all over my face, well guess again dipshit," I seethed at him.

Felix continued to stare at me, like I wasn't even standing in the room.

"Felix what do you have to say for yourself? Never mind let me tell you what I think of you. You're a fucking pathetic excuse for a man. We were getting married next year and this is how you treat the 'supposed' woman of your dreams. Well fuck you and your proposal! I don't want to marry someone that can throw away eight years over some twenty-two year old student," I seethed.

"Bella, please listen to me," Felix pleaded from the bed, still sitting there naked.

"Put some clothes on your fucking imbecile. I really don't want to look at you like that!" Waving my hand at him and moving it up and down. "I'm going downstairs to make sure Heidi has left _my_ house. You have exactly two minutes to get your ass dressed and downstairs and don't even think you can talk your way out of this." I turned my back on him and made my way down to the kitchen, to put the kettle on.

I know most people would turn to drinking, but as it was, I would not be sleeping anytime soon. I need some chamomile to calm my nerves a little. None of this was good for my health – no one needs to be this stressed.

As I put the kettle on the stove, all I could see every time I closed my eyes was Felix and Heidi going at it. He had her legs up around his head and was driving into her with force, her moaning and calling his name. Not what I really wanted to remember, I wish I could poor acid into my brain and burn the memory out. I heard Felix's footsteps on the stairs and I took another calming breath as the kettle started to whistle.

I concentrated on getting my chamomile organized and I turned with it in hand. I noticed Felix sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen. I moved over a bit and perched myself up on the counter of the kitchen, I needed space between us.

"Please explain to me how long has this been going on? Is she the first? When were you going to grow a pair and tell me?" I stared into his eyes.

"First, I did not mean for this to happen!"

"Which part, sleeping with her or for getting caught?" I scoffed at him.

"Both. Heidi is the first person I have ever cheated on you with and it started eight months ago when you went to Chicago for the book signing. I asked her to stay behind in class because she was falling behind and I offered to help her a little with catching up. I didn't mean it to ever cross the line from professor and student, but when we started talking and getting to know each other..." he stopped and rubbed his hands over his face. "I felt so free with her. I could see the world in a new light when we were together. I felt so young and care free again. I know this is not what you want to hear Bella and I know I should have told you, but…"

"I thought you said upstairs that she meant nothing to you, now you tell me she makes you feel young and care-free. Which one is it Felix? Yes, you should have told me. You definitely shouldn't have asked me to marry you." I said slamming my fist on to the kitchen bench.

I watched Felix jump and look at me.

"Did you ask me to marry you out of guilt Felix? You asked me to marry you only six months ago! So what was it? Pity Bella! Guilt over cheating? Tell me you gutless wonder! Tell me the fucking truth for once in your life, because you have been lying to me for the past eight months. Why did you accept when I asked you to move in to the house with me if it is not what you wanted?" I was starting to get really angry again and I didn't want to.

"Bella I wanted to tell you so many times… I just did not know what to say to you."

"Here is one way you could have used. Bella guess what I found someone else, so instead of cheating on you and stringing you along thinking I want to marry you and have kids with you – I am going to bow out now. At least you know that I don't love you anymore, but you don't have to walk in on me up to my nuts in guts, and playing peek-a-boo with a twenty-two year old student!" I said, trying to hold back the tears. I was not going to let him see me cry.

"Bella, I know I shouldn't have asked you to marry me. That's why it took so long to commit to a date. I knew I was lying to you and myself, but I just didn't know how to tell you. I took the easy way out and asked you to marry me because I'm not getting any younger. Neither are you. I knew you wanted to start a family and…"

I could tell that he wanted to say more but he was holding back. He had come this far, why hold back now.

"It was pity from the sounds of it. Oh, poor Bella is getting old. Watch out, her biological clock is ticking. Better save her, she might not find anyone else. She might end up a crazy old spinster," I rattled off sarcastically. "Felix, the least you can do before I kick you out of my house – is to tell me the truth. Don't hold back, you have already shattered my heart, with what I walked in on upstairs. The least you can do is be honest. You owe me that much," I sighed, resigned.

"Bella, I know I have hurt you and I don't want to cause you more pain."

"You not telling me what you were and are thinking, _is_ causing me pain. What really happened is going to cause me pain Felix. I already feel like I am inadequate enough not to be able to keep you interested in this relationship. I feel like I have cornered you into a marriage, which you don't seem to want. You seem to have fallen in love with someone ten years younger. So please don't tell me you don't want to cause any more pain, you daft prick. If I don't know the truth, I am going to be sitting here in this house thinking of 'what if's'? I don't want to do that to myself. I gave you my all! Not just part of me over the past eight years. The least you could do is give me what I am asking for now."

The room was quiet as we stared at each other. Neither one of us wanting to give in first, I was done asking. I was going to make sure he told me what was going on before he walked out of my life.

"Looks like you are just going to sit there! Felix am I really asking too much from you to explain this to me. After eight year…" I was on the verge of tears. I could feel my chin tremble. I was trying to stay strong, but I was failing. "I just want know how it all happened Felix. I just need to have some sort of closure. You owe me that much," I said with conviction.

"As I said, I met Heidi in one of my classes, she was falling behind in her work so I offered to help her. What I didn't know at the time was that she was dating an abusive guy so I helped her to get away from him. From there I started helping her catch up on the work that she had missed and in the process we started to get to know each other. We started sleeping together after she passed my class and about six weeks after I helped her with her boyfriend situation." Felix looked at me sorrow in his eyes before he started again.

"I only asked you to marry me because it was the natural progression of our relationship, I had realized that I really cared for Heidi, but I owed it to you not to go that path. I really wanted you and me to work out. I told Heidi that I was getting engaged and that nothing would happen between us anymore, we could only be friends. I thought I would be able to handle it, just being her friend. Then she came to me for help with another subject she was having trouble with. One thing led to another and I was in too deep. It was getting to the point of I either had to shit or get off the pot. I was going to tell you after your birthday what was going on. I know that I should have done it before I moved in with you. Heidi, she is my soul mate Bella. I can't live without her. I know you don't want to hear that but it is true." By the time he finished his speech, I had traitor tears running down my face.

Felix looked up at me and he noticed I was pushing the tears off my face.

"Bella, I am…"

I cut him off there, "Felix, please for my sanity; don't say you're sorry. I know that you are but I can't hear you say it. It means that I have to forgive you and I don't have it in me to even start."

"I understand Bella, I really do. I am going to pack a few things and get out of here. I'll go and stay with Caius. I know he'll be up at this late hour. Bella, I know I can't take any of this back. When you are able to talk to me again, please let me know, I would really like to apologize for treating you this way. I also understand why you can't hear it yet. I know I have hurt you, lost your trust, and ruined your life at the moment. For what it is worth I never deserved your love, even when we first started dating, I was never good enough for you. You have a promising future ahead of you, even though you can't see it now, but you'll be better off without me. I would have just hurt you in the end. Even if you never found us tonight, I still would have hurt you."

I watched Felix walk up the stairs to pack. I walked into his study and starting packing his computer and personal items, I don't think I could have them sitting in plain view. Looks like I would be getting the builders in. I always wanted to redecorate this old beauty. First though, I needed to change one of the other rooms into my bedroom. There is no way I could stay in that room.

As I moved around the house collecting Felix's belongings, I wanted to scream, cry and throw whatever I could get my hands on, but I knew it wouldn't stop the movie going on in my head.

I sat in the kitchen staring at the box I had packed. I was off in my own little world, thinking about what to do next when I heard Felix clear his throat. I looked up at him not realizing that I had tears rolling down my cheeks, I wiped them away and heard Felix's muttered 'sorry'.

"_Don't say sorry_!" I looked at him sternly.

"Just don't, if you were sorry you would have told about this when it started. You didn't. So don't say it now," I seethed

"Okay. I'll collect the rest of my furniture and belongings this weekend, once I've found a place to stay. I don't have much here so it won't take long. I'll leave the keys then, if that is all right with you or would you prefer me to leave them now?"

"No, just leave them on the kitchen counter when you've finished. I'll make sure I am not here; just send me a text telling me what time you will be here. I'll go out. Then send me one when you've left," I said.

"Okay then I shall be going. I don't think there is anything left to say Bella. I wish you all the best for the future and I wish this ended differently." I could hear regret in his voice, but I couldn't look at him.

I heard him start to walk away toward the front door when I looked down and noticed my engagement ring.

"Felix," I said as I got up and started walking after him.

He turned around and looked at me.

"Here," I said pulling the ring from my finger. "It was your grandmothers, I couldn't keep a family heirloom, nor do I want to look at it and be reminded of this."

I placed the ring into Felix's palm and the pain in his eyes when he looked at me was too much to bear and I couldn't look at him any longer. I turn around and started to walk away but stopped at his next words.

"Bella, thank you, my mother was right about you. You are an exceptional woman and always do the right thing even if it breaks you in half. You are so strong and I know you will be a better person after I leave tonight. I know I am a bastard and a million other despicable words I could come up with, but thank you again for giving me back the ring. I didn't expect it and I am grateful." With that I heard him turn and the door latch click into place and my world fell apart.

I crumpled to the floor in a ball and let go of all the hurt, betrayal, pain, anger and every other emotion I was feeling in that moment. I am not sure how long I laid there for. When the tears dried up, I got up and went to the phone. I called the one person I could trust and needed right now. My best friend Charlotte!

I knew it was late but I also knew she would be up. As I listened to the phone, waiting for her to pick up, I had started crying again.

"Hey beautiful, how is your trip going?" I heard on the other end.

"Char, I need you!" I sobbed into the phone.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"No Char, I need you, I know it's late, but can you please come to me, I'm at home."

"Bella, what's happened? Are your parents okay, is Felix okay?"

"Caught Felix cheating, can't talk right now, just need you here please."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Let me just save this brief I am working on and I'll be there. Hold on Bella. I'll call Kate; she'll be able to reach you before me. I'll make sure she has her key with her. I love you, Bella."

"Thanks Char." I didn't have it in me at the moment for I love you – I didn't have a heart anymore. It was shattered into a million pieces, lying on the floor for people to walk all over. My soul was nonexistent. I was a shell. I knew I would be able to get past this, but for now I just wanted to live in this misery. How could I not know? Where were the signs?

I moved toward the stairs and went up to the bedroom, the scene of the transgression that took place over an hour ago. As I walked up to the third level, I walked into the one of the spare bedrooms and made sure that the bed had sheets on it. There was no way I could sleep in that bed ever again, first thing in the morning I was calling Salvation Army and they could come and collect the whole bedroom set, everything in that room could go. I wanted no reminder of him at all.

As I started walking up to the fourth floor, I heard Kate calling out to me.

"Bella, where are you? Char just called and told me to get over here quick!" I heard her yell.

"I'm heading up the fourth level Kate."

I heard her running up the stairs and I was standing on the landing looking at my door, debating what I should do next. Do I pack him up? Do I strip the sheets and burn them? Do I throw his clothes out the window and make him pick them up and hope that at some point in time a dog does his business on them? I felt Kate surround my body in a hug and I lost it again, I started sobbing, saying why me?

"Bella, baby I can't understand you, take some deep breaths." Kate moved me to sit on the top step and cradled my head in her arms while lightly rubbing my back, hair and face.

I started to calm down and sat up. I looked at one of my best friends from college and said through my tears, "I came home early and found Felix in bed with a student!"

"No way, what was he fucking thinking? That evil, two-faced, vile, loathsome, foul, nasty, appalling, dumb motherfucker, immoral, obnoxious ass..." Kate started to seethe.

"Kate," I looked at her pleadingly, "I don't want to talk about it right now. I want to rid him from my life and once that is done, I promise you and Char, I will tell you what happened and answer any questions. But right now I need you to help me to purge him from my house."

"Right, then let's start! We will start in your bedroom and work our way down. We will put everything in the basement and he can collect it from there." I smiled my gratification at her and she helped me off the stairs.

I squared my shoulders, enough with tears still running down my face, let's get this show on the road, so I can start healing and move on from this relationship, it wasn't going to happen in the next hour, night or day; it was going to take time to heal from this debacle that was created tonight.

How am I going to tell my parents what has gone on here tonight, my mother has been working on the wedding since she found out we got engaged. She has organized nearly all of it and this weekend we were supposed to go wedding dress shopping. She is going to be devastated; I will have to take all the information off her and start calling everyone and see who I can get our deposits back from. The ones that won't refund her money, I will just reimburse her for.

I stepped into the room and looked at the bed and my anger surged through my body and I leaped at the bed and started gripping at the sheets removing them off the bed with so much force that I am sure I ripped them, but I didn't care they were going in the bin anyway. Once that was done, I felt better. I took a deep calming breath, looked at Kate with a small smile.

"Feeling better, Darling? You look better!" She smiled at me.

"Oh, I'm just starting Kate. By the time my head hits the pillow, I will feel cleansed and I will be able to heal and move of from the chaos that has landed at my feet." I said, as I started moving into the walk-in, Kate hot on my heels.

We heard Charlotte yell out to us and Kate and I walked out of the bedroom to the landing telling her where we were. As soon as I saw her I lost it again. I felt both of my friend arms surround me. I could feel the love vibrating from them, so I basked in the feeling for a while, letting go over my inhabitations. Once I calmed down we made our way back into the bedroom and started removing Felix from every surface.

We spent a couple of hours packing Felix's belongings and cleaning as we went, I was going to move some of my clothes to the next room but decided just to leave them for now. By the time we had finished in the library, we were all feeling exhausted, so we made our way down to the kitchen. It was time to face the truth of what happened and explain to the girls. They had helped me when I needed them and now I owed them for their patience.

I pulled out three wine glasses and pulled out a bottle of Brunello di Montalcino from the wine fridge. I found the corkscrew, opened the wine and started pouring us each a glass, I then went over to the fridge and got some cheese and crackers to go with our wine. I sat down lifted my glass to my lips, took a sip of wine, as soon as the wine was swallowed, I started to relax.

I looked a Charlotte, and then Kate, smiled, and then started tell them how I finished up early, drove home, and then proceeded to tell them what I found when I walked into our bedroom. I watched their facial express go from placated to mad, to anger, to absolutely furious by the time I finished. I was proud of myself that I didn't shed one tear though out the whole spiel and I was still holding it together in the silence of the kitchen.

Kate was the first to break it.

"Bella, I am so sorry that you had to go through this, I know you were looking forward to spending the rest of your life with Felix, but I have to say it is a Godsend that it happened now and not after you were married." She leaned over squeezed my hand.

"I agree with you on that one, but it doesn't help with the fact that I thought he was the one that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, start a family with, grow old with."

"Sweetie, when you least expect it, the right man will turn up, and who said you needed a man to start your family. You could always do IVF if you want, or you could adopt, there are a lot of needy kids out there that need the love of a mother. We both know that you would make a wonderful mother and you have so much love to give Bella. You just need some time to get past this and you will be stronger once you come through it," Charlotte said.

"I know you're both right, but for now I am going to remodel this house the way I want it and always saw it when I bought it years ago. I will make it into the home I see for my family and then I will consider my options. That will keep me busy for a while. Then I have to finish the two new books for both of my series. So I have a lot to look forward to," I said smiling at my girls. They always knew how to cheer me up.

I proceeded to tell them about my plans for the house and I was going to start contacting contractors in the morning. I wanted it started as soon as possible and hopefully have it finished in five months. I was going to change everything about this house, and as I was filling in Kate and Char, I starting to get excited. Char told me that in the morning she would send me the name of her contractor that worked with her husband Garrett. I told her to let Garrett know that I would call him in the morning as well to get him to come over and start drawings up for approvals. The faster I could get this done the faster I would heal.

I walked my girls out and thanked them for coming to my rescue and for cheering me up. I told Kate that I would call her once I heard from Felix about Saturday. We gave each other hugs and kisses goodbye and I locked up after them.

Walking back through the house I started thinking about everything I wanted to do. I went into the kitchen to get a notebook and pen and went from room to room jotting down everything I wanted. By the time I finished I walked into one of the spare rooms on the third level and had a hot shower, letting it relax my tired body. I crawled into bed and looked at the clock it was nearing five in the morning. I closed my eyes and let sleep take me.

Later that morning I woke up to the house phone ringing. Feeling I could sleep more, I moved to the other side of the bed and pick up the phone.

"Hello," I said groggily.

"Baby, what's the matter?" My mother asked.

"Hey, Mom. How did you know? I was going to call you when I woke up." I moved and got comfortable in bed.

"I've had a bad feeling all morning and I couldn't put my finger on it. I was talking to your father and he told me to just call you."

"Mom it was so horrible, last night I got in early and I caught Felix in our bed, with one of his students!" I could hear her gasp on the other end of the phone. "He told me he had been seeing her for eight months. I never suspected anything at all!"

I went on to tell her the whole story. She put me on speaker so my father could hear, I'm sure in that moment if my father could hunt Felix down and shoot him, he would. My mother told me that they were on their way over and would stay the night with me and that on Friday I was going to go stay with them for the weekend.

I wasn't going to fight it; I needed my mother and father, even if I knew I would probably go crazy staying with them. I hung up and made my way downstairs and in to the kitchen, I had about an hour before they would get here, so I cleaned up after last night. I started the coffee and sat down to start a list of people to call. Once that was done and I had two cups of coffee in me, I went and had a quick shower, and then got dressed.

I called Garrett first about what I wanted to do to the house and he told me he would be over later in the afternoon, I told him to stay for dinner and to let Char know to come as well. I needed my friends and family at the moment, even if I went overboard. They were the only ones who are going to get me though this. Just as I was hanging up from him, I heard the front door open and my mother yell out for me.

I ran to the front door and straight into her arms. I was safe and home, I felt my father wrap his arms around both of us, now I was protected as well.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

**May 2010**

A lot has happened since the night I found Felix and Heidi in our bed. That weekend was the only weekend I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. I needed to get it all out, I knew that I would break every now and then but I was hoping the pain would never be as bad as that weekend. About three weeks later I did have another breakdown, although not as bad as I allowed that first weekend. I have to say that Char and Kate where my rescue the last breakdown I have ever had over Felix.

My mother and father came to stay Thursday night, it was nice to know that they were there with me, even if it was only to make sure I had water and a little bit of food I would eat. My mother the angel she is went and got all my favorite junk foods for me, while I sat on the couch crying. One minute that is all I would do and then the tides would change and I would be raging like a lunatic the next. She would sit and listen to what I had to say, even if she couldn't understand me. She only commented when she felt like I needed it.

On Friday my father dropped off my rental for me, as I was not in any state to be leaving the house. He also contacted The Salvation Army and told them we had furniture for them to collect, I was lucky they had a job cancellation that day. I would not be responsible for the damage I could cause if I had to look at it any longer. My father dismantled the bed and brought all the furniture down from Felix and my bedroom. I was going to give him a hand with the heavy items but he would not allow it and roped my next door neighbor, Jacob, into helping. Sometimes I would yell from my position on the lounge to throw the crap down the stairs, My father would placate me, by telling me that someone less fortunate than us would be able to use the furniture. In then end this little bit of information always made me a little bit happier.

At least I was blessed with understanding parents, I am sure that Jacob thought I was a bit of a nutcase and had lost my mind. Once all of the furniture was gone from the room, I ventured up to take a look; I wished I hadn't, it looked stark, cold and unwelcoming. I removed all my clothes from the wardrobe and moved them into the spare room. My mother packed my bag for the weekend; I was moving from this now depressing house and moving in with them for the week. Once this was done, my mother told me that Char and Kate were coming over with their family and that we better get something on for them for dinner. It was a good excuse to empty the fridge out.

Garrett turned up around four in the afternoon, so we could go through my house and see what I wanted changed. This brought a little bit of hope back into my life day, it was the starting point for me to move on, to try and forget Felix, to forget what had happened and what we had both been through since college. As I walk around the house today I remember that day clearly. That day was life changing and got me to where I am now.

Existing on the ground level already was the entry to the house, dining room, kitchen and pantry. I didn't want to change much here except modernize it. I knew what I wanted; it had to be as open as much as possible. I wanted the rooms to flow from kitchen to dining room. I had to contend with an elevator and stairs going down to the basement, but I was lucky and could incorporate those into the design.

New counters, new appliances and repositioning of the sink so that I had a nice view while washing the dishes made up my kitchen. I was tired of the bland look, so new cabinetry and flooring was brought in to lighten the area.

Just before you go into the dining room was a set of stairs. Garrett suggested we get rid of the railing all together and hide this stair case behind a hatch door that would embed itself into the mixed grain brown timber floor. Also in the kitchen floor we put another one but this one lead down to the wine cellar. I still needed to support the house so I put in extra steel bracing in the roof and a large column in line with the elevator. This opened the room up even more once I got rid of the small bathroom. The dining room led out into the backyard-garden. I kept the French doors, took the curtains away and left it all open also in the dining room, and I updated the fire place to a gas.

On the second level where the lounge room and library is located, was timber all throughout. All I needed to do here was a repaint in light colors and change the lighting. I changed the fire place in here to gas as well. I kept the French doors and took all the curtains down and added in blinds. I wasn't sure what to do with the wall next to the elevator, so Garrett suggested I put in shelving for my DVDs and CDs. This turned out to be a wonderful open storage area. I changed the library into both a library and home office, adding big book cases that ran along the right hand wall. I had a desk made to fit the bay window. It over looked the front yard and the street. I also added a small couch and a couple of wing back chairs to room as well, trying to make it as welcoming as possible.

On the third level, I wanted to renovate the existing master bedroom. Seeing as I was looking to start a family with or without a man, I wanted the nursery to be on the same level with the master bedroom. I kept the master bedroom overlooking the garden and where the existing bath suite was I changed that into the nursery. I was going to close off the bathroom, but Garrett suggested that I keep it open into the nursery making it easier than putting in another bathroom. I updated the walk in wardrobe to how I wanted it. I pulled the carpet off the floor and added the same rose color timber in here, as well as the nursery

I was proud of my house, the work I had put in to it with picking out new furniture, bathrooms, lighting, and colors. I knew there was something missing, which was the family I really wanted. I really did think that by the age of thirty-two, I would be settled and starting my family, hence the reason for the house.

In the months during the restoration to my now beautiful and spectacular brownstone, I focused on transforming me. I went to counseling, to get through the hurt and pain from the break up, and with the help of my therapist I realized I was not to blame.

I would sit for hours wondering why me? What had I done to make him stray, was I not good enough? What could I have changed? And probably a million more questions. It was not until three weeks later Char and Kate turned up at my door pulled me off the sofa and helped me to get my life back together.

They booked a weekend away for us; then that day we went out for lunch and the movies, I can't even remember what I saw, all I know it was girly and I cried my eyes out. That afternoon when we got home, Kate went out and got ice-cream, popcorn, chips, chocolate and any other junk food she could and we had a sleep over. The next morning we talked about the steps I should take to start forgetting about Felix. The girls were my saviors, they helped me turn my life around that fateful weekend and since then I've never looked back.

I grew closer to my friends Kate and Char and their families, sometimes spending weeks on end with them. I also spent weeks with my mother and father; I would go fishing with my father just to spend time with him. I would work on my books while he fished. We never did talk a lot but I just needed to have his presence around me. I also taught my mother to cook, she only ever knew a few easy things to make in the kitchen and she always wanted to learn how to bake. We spent hours upon hours in the kitchen baking and cooking different foods, and my father was her guinea pig. I'm sure he put on weight, I had noticed he started taking up running again.

Once the basement, kitchen and my bedrooms were finished, I moved back in to the house. I started putting my touches on to it. As each level was then finished, I kept adding, I took my furniture out of storage and placed it around the house. I bought a new timber bedroom set and all new linen and towels. I was going to go for girly flowers, but changed my mind and went for colors instead. I left the nursery blank; I didn't want to jinx myself. I bought big Persian rugs to go under furniture in the bed rooms, lounge room, library, and the dining room, and I picked different colors from these rugs to add to texture to the rooms. I didn't want to go over the top and clutter rooms, so I kept it simple.

Five months after that horrid night I had my house to myself again and this coming weekend, I had planned a house warming with all my friends, family, and a few colleagues. I couldn't wait to show them the finished product of what I had been working so hard to achieve. New house and life in one and I was enjoying living it.

Not only had my personal life taken leaps and bounds so had my professional life. I had an upcoming national tour for both of my new newly released books, I was also doing a few readings at different schools for my children's book. I was also asked by my university to come back and do a question and answer for one of the creative writing class. I was looking forward to doing it. I had come up with new ideas for a new story away from fantasy and into real life, and I had decided at this stage this book would not be a series of books, just the one off, left opened to expand if I so choose.

I could say my life had fallen into place; the only thing that was absent was a husband and children. I was more desperate for the latter, and was thinking about the alternatives. I had spoken to Char and Kate about it on numerous occasions and they told me to hold off, just in case Mr. Right comes along. They kept repeating the age-old saying "Good things come to those who wait" and I've been patient, but it just seems that it wasn't going to happen for me.

Over the last past month I have decided that I am going to start my family. It seems my biological clock is ticking thunderously and rapidly and I am reading it loud and clear. One good thing that came out of the break-up with Felix, I made friends with my neighbor, Jacob and his wife Leah. I invited them over for dinner one evening and we got to talking about IVF, they were telling me that they had found it hard to conceive. I told them of my wish to start my family and Leah started telling me about their doctor and where she worked. How good she was and how they found her. They gave me sites to look up and books they had for me to read. They were welcoming twins girls into the world around Thanksgiving and they couldn't be happier. I was glad that I had them to talk to over the last couple of months; they gave me so much information and answered any questions they could.

I did some of my own research and called around a couple of different clinics that Jacob and Leah had told me about. They said that I should look around, because I might not get what I needed from their doctor or her practice. In the end I have decided to go with the clinic that Jacob and Leah went with but chose a different doctor, I had chosen Dr. Carlisle Cullen at New York-Presbyterian. I was reading the different bios on all the doctors there and from the moment I read his, I didn't want to look any further. I had my doctor if I chose this path.

I haven't come to this decision lightly. I wanted to be prepared as much as I could, so I talked in-depth to my councilor. She gave me more information to look at on top of what Jacob and Leah had and what I had researched myself. She told me when making a decision this life changing it is best to have too much, rather than not enough information and I couldn't disagree with her on that. Once she was happy, I was in the right place and the right frame of mind to contact Dr. Cullen; she let me know and wrote me a referral explaining about my knowledge and therapy. I know that it will be hard to be a single mom, but a lot of women do it, whether by choice or not, I could be just as good as them.

So today after the house warming lunch, I have asked my mom and dad and friends to stay behind so I can let them know about what I have chosen to do. I know that they will support me in any decisions I make and they will stand by me with this one as well.


	5. Where there is no struggle

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Liz (momma2fan) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Please be aware you will need tissues for this chapter.**

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 4**

**Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.**

**June 2010**

**EPOV**

I never knew my life would change so dramatically!

Today was so far up on the shit list that I am sure it come to equal to my mothers and fathers funeral?

Today I bury my brother, Alec and his wife, Jane.

I have lost everything! My whole family has left me here alone, on this God-forsaken earth!

All I have left is Benjamin and Tia and how do you tell two three year olds that their parents aren't coming home. They won't be there to tuck them into bed, home to pick them up from school, take them on holiday, or take them fucking anywhere anymore.

How hell do you tell them that mommy and daddy have gone to heaven, when they don't even understand what heaven is.

I have no fucking clue what so fucking ever!

I know I have my aunt, uncle and cousins to help, but I am so lost. I don't know what to do with these two. I have never looked after them on my own. Hell, I wasn't even looking after them when Alec and Jane's plane crashed for fucks sake.

**Flashback:**

_June 5, 2010_

_Thank heavens I was done for the day having just fished my rounds for the afternoon. Alec had surprised Jane with a two-week vacation in __Kauai, Hawaii, for their wedding anniversary. Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme were looking after the two rug-rats. I was pitching in on weekends and going over after work to help out. Today was my day to pick them up from pre-school and that is where I was headed now._

_Benjamin and Tia went to __Smarter Toddler Preschool; they were enrolled into this preschool from birth. They were doing the Young Preschool Program, Jane had always wanted her kids to attend this school, and it was one of the best in New York. The school was located closely between Alec's home and my place. Esme and Carlisle lived on the Upper East Side, so the rug-rats and I had were catching a lift with Stefan in the town car._

_I was actually early picking up the kids, so I waited outside and listened to my messages. Once I had them collected, and buckled them into their seats and when the town car started moving, they started telling me all about their day. I enjoying listening to them, and ooh'ed and ah'ed at the stories they were telling me._

_My phone started ringing and broke my laughter when I looked at the number; I noticed that it was from Esme._

"_Hey, Esme, I just picked up the kids. We should be there in about fifteen to twenty minutes."_

"_Hello, Edward, I am glad you aren't far. Carlisle has come home from the hospital and we're waiting for you, Alice is on her way over as well to take the kids out for ice-cream. We have something to tell you when you get here."_

"_Esme, is everything alright?" I asked now starting to get worried._

"_I tell you once you get hear, Sweetie, I was just making sure that you had the kids," Esme said sweetly._

"_Okay, well we'll see you soon."_

"_Bye Edward, see you when you get here." And Esme was gone._

_I hoped everything was all right, I was so caught up with the phone call, I hadn't realized that Tia had started her story again. The ride took a little longer than expected with afternoon traffic, but when we got there, Benjamin and Tia crashed into Esme's legs almost tackling her._

_I knew something was wrong when Esme looked up at me and looked like she had been crying and was just holding herself together for the kids. I figured my hunch was correct when Carlisle came into the kitchen from his study. He too had been crying and looked a little pale._

_I was staring at both of them when Carlisle shook his head and looked over and Tia and Ben sitting at the table telling Esme all about their day. I took the seat next to Ben and grabbed a cookie and stared off into the distance wondering what was going on. I just wanted someone to tell me now!_

_I heard Emmett call out from the front of the house letting everyone know he had arrived. All I heard after that was kids screaming and laughing, and even saw a streak of black hair come flying at me._

"_Uncle Eddie, Uncle Eddie, guess what I did today?" I heard as I looked down and saw Sophia trying to crawl onto my lap._

"_What Princess, tell Uncle Eddie everything you did today." I replied smiling down at her._

_She was so much like her mother, I was grateful in this moment to be staring down into two very excited bright blue eyes. I was listening intently as Sophia told me about her day of dress up with her mother, when I felt Alice come over and put her arms around my neck and kiss my temple._

_I waited for Sophia to take a breath and I turned and smiled up at Alice and mouthed hello. As I was still trying to listen to Sophia's day, once she was finished, I kissed her cheek and told her that it sounds like I missed out on playing with her. She giggled at my pathetic facial expression, kissed me, and scramble off my lap to see her Nana, where she started her story all over again._

_Jayden and __Luciana came over and got cuddles from Uncle Eddie, and then Luciana left to go and sit on her daddy's knee while Jayden climbed up on mine. The kitchen was crowded with everyone, and I realized that I really had been missing a lot of family time lately; work had been kicking my ass with the amount of overtime I was doing._

_Jasper was the first to pipe up. "Mom? Dad? Why the urgency for all of us to come here? I was about ready to go into surgery when I got your 911."_

"_Jasper let me talk to Rose and Alice before they take the kids for ice-cream, then I will be back to let you all know what is going on." Esme ushered Alice and Rose out of the room._

_I was looking at Carlisle trying to see if I could read the situation at all, but he was standing emotionlessly in the corner of the kitchen, looking over all of us protectively._

_After about ten minutes Esme came back into the kitchen and ushered all the kids to the hallway toward the front door. We didn't see Alice or Rose again, we only heard them talking to all the kids and telling them where they were headed. I could tell by Alice's voice that she was not okay, and was forcing her happy voice. You could always tell when Alice was doing her "happy voice' her pitch is ten times higher than it was normally. Jasper and I exchanged looks and we knew that something bad had happened._

_Esme walked back into the room and sat in her usual seat at the table. She looked over at Carlisle and he walked over to sit at the head of the table. They both looked at me and all I could see was pain, melancholy, and mourning in their eyes. They were starting to freak me out and I didn't like it._

"_If I don't get the truth out from one you soon, I'm going to freak the fuck out. You are both scaring me." I looked at both of them not knowing which one would give me the information I needed._

_I looked at Jasper and Emmett to see if they knew what was going on, but they lifted their shoulders as if to say 'don't look at me for answers'. I then heard Carlisle move his chair and rounded the table and took the seat next to me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I knew then the news was bad. I remembered him doing this when he told us the story about mom and dad, when he got back from __Lake Michigan with my parents. Dread over took my brain and I knew straight away it was Alec and Jane._

_I looked into he's eyes begging and pleading him for it not to be real!_

_I knew as soon as the tear left one of his eyes, I knew that I was completely alone._

"_NO, Carlisle! NO – I am not losing him too. This can't be happening. I refuse for this to happen!" I stood knocking my chair over and started pacing the floor._

"_No, no, no, no. This is not fucking happening to me AGAIN! I refuse to lose any more of my family." I looked into Esme's eyes. "Please, tell me it's not true, I can't be alone, I can't be the only one left. Please, I am begging you, tell me it isn't true," I pleaded, as my legs went out from under me and I was sank to the floor crying._

_I felt arms go around me but all I could hear was Emmett._

"_Can someone please tell us what is going on?"_

_I heard Carlisle then._

"_Emmett, help me move Edward into the living room and then I will explain it all to the both of you."_

_I felt myself being lifted; when I looked up I saw Emmett's blue eyes. "It's okay Edward lean on me."_

_After that it all got a little hazy, until I heard Carlisle again._

"_Emmett, Jasper, this afternoon I got a call from the police department informing me that Jane and Alec have died in a Helicopter accident. Apparently, they were on a sightseeing tour over the island when the pilot lost control and crashed. They are trying to recover the bodies as we speak and will keep us informed of what is going on. They are positive that there are no survivors. From what the eye-witnesses have said no-one jumped out either."_

_I don't remember much after that, only that when Benjamin and Tia came home, I wouldn't let them out of my sight. I hovered over them as Esme and Carlisle explained what had happened, but I wondered if a three year old really could grasp the fact they were essentially orphans._

_The next couple of days were a blur, they had retrieved the bodies from the wreck, and Carlisle, Emmett, and I flew down to __Kauai, to collect the remains of my brother and his wife. Jane's parents were too distraught to make the trip, so I offered to go on their behalf, seeing as she was an only child._

_I remember walking into the morgue to identify my brother. Carlisle offered to do it, but I told him that I needed to do it. I needed the make sure this wasn't a dream. When I saw my brother lying on the metal slab, I lost it. I hugged what was left of his body close to mine, and then I let go, telling him that I loved him and I was going to miss him. How could this be happening to me again? Was our family cursed? When I went to over to where Jane was laid out, I just nodded to the medical examiner that was with me. I kissed her cheek, told her I loved her, and then turned to go._

_As I walked out of the morgue, and I thought I was going to be sick. It was not until I was half way down the corridor that I realize I realized I couldn't fight it anymore. I found the nearest trashcan and let go. I heaved until there was nothing left. The only thought I had when I joined Carlisle and Emmett in the waiting room was with this flight home I was bringing back the last of my family. I was it!_

_Yes there was Ben and Tia, but I was the last of my generation. I knew that if I wanted or needed to call my brother, I couldn't do that anymore. Mom and Dad had been gone a long time, but now I felt truly alone._

**Flashback End.**

So today is the tenth of June and possibly the second worst day of my life.

"Edward, are you ready to go, Dear?" I hear Esme call from behind me.

"Coming Esme, how are Ben and Tia doing this morning?" I ask her.

"As good as you are I suspect, Edward. I know they don't understand everything, but when they wake up in the middle of the night wanting their mother, I think that's when it will really hit home. We've been lucky so far," Esme said as tears started to spill from her eyes.

I walked over to her and enveloped her into my arms. "We will get through this, Mom. You know we will."

Esme looked up at me with shock in her eyes. "You called me, Mom."

"That's what you are. Ever since my own mothers death, you've taken her place, and I feel the same way about Carlisle. You two and the children are all I have left. So, for the love of God, please don't do anything that will take any you away from me. I can't go through this again," I pleaded with her.

"Oh, Edward. Son, I promise you that I will try to stay here as long as I possibly can," she said holding onto my face with both of her hands. "I will do my best. I promise you that. Now come on, let's go get those two beautiful children and get this day over with so we can move on and help you all get through this."

I held out my arm for her, took her hand, and looped her arm with mine. She patted my hand, looking up at me smiling. I had a feeling I had made her day, by calling her Mom. There was no fighting it now. Carlisle and Esme were all I had as parental figures, now that my older brother was no there to do it. Alec was really gone; my mind did not comprehend this fact. I had to take every opportunity to show them, that I considered them that now.

Carlisle left earlier than all of us to pick up Jane's parents from their friends home. We were meeting them at the church. Esme had organized five town cars for the day, so the rest of us piled into the four remaining cars I sat with Tia and Ben in the back seat of one car, with Emmett up front as we made our way to St. Francis of Assisi Church, the same church where my parent's funeral was held.

As we walked into the church, I noticed a lot of Alec and Jane's colleagues and friends. Some I knew and some I didn't. Some of Benjamin and Tia's classmates from pre-school were they're with their parents. It was lovely to see that they had friends there for them, even at this age. I personally didn't want to put three year olds though this, but Esme said she would give the school the option if they wanted to come.

As I walked up the aisle with both of the kids each holding one of my hands, I was struck with the finality of what was happening. This would be the last time I really saw my brother. I let the grief take over; I needed to let it out. I was trying hard to be strong for everyone, but seeing my brother coffin sitting at the head of the church, I lost it. I felt Alice and Rose on either side of me as Emmett took Ben and Tia up to our seats.

Alice was whispering in my ear that it would be okay, that I had family here. They started leading me to the pew, but that wasn't where I wanted to go. I had some final words to say to my brother and Jane.

I grabbed Rose's hand and looked at her pleading for her, to come with me. Alice needed to be with Ben and Tia.

"Alice, I need to do something, can you look after Ben and Tia for me, please?"

Alice nodded her head in understanding of what I was asking her to do.

Still holding onto Rose's hand, we walked up to Jane's coffin first; I put my hand on top and leaned my head down close to the coffin.

"Jane, I am sorry your life was cut short, I wish it was me and not you. Ben and Tia need their mother so much more than they need me. I can't make any promises, but I promise to try and be strong for them. I am sure between all of us we can make their life happy. I will try my hardest to do the right thing by them, that I can promise you. I love you and I am going to miss you, my sister." I kissed to top of the coffin after I said my special good-bye.

I knew what I had to do next was going to be harder and that's the reason I left Alec for last. I turned, took the two steps to my brother's coffin, and then just looked at it for a minute.

I put my hands on his coffin and rested my cheek on it looking away from the congregation toward the marble alter. Then I whispered my last words to my brother.

"Alec, I'm not sure what to tell you. I'm sorry that you have to leave your kids behind, but at least you have your Jane by your side to take this journey with you." I watched as my tears fell onto the coffin; I had to let the sadness out. "I'll make this promise to you Alec; I promise that I will do what is always best for Benjamin and Tia. I will make sure they are always happy. Take care of Jane, wherever you may be. If you happen to see mom and dad..." I had to stop and take a couple of shaky breaths to calm down a bit. "If you see mom and dad, tell them I love them and miss them. God I miss you Alec, how am I going to make it through..."

I didn't realize, until I felt Jasper and Emmett on either side of me, that I was on the floor next to Alec's coffin. Rose was in front of me, her hands holding on to my face, trying hard to get me to focus on her. Jasper and Emmett helped me to stand and held me up while I said a final farewell.

"Alec, I love you and will miss you dearly brother, please look over us. You will always be in my heart." I kissed the top of the coffin, laid my forehead against it, and then said one last I love you as I let the tears fall freely.

Jasper stayed beside me, as Emmett helped his wife to our seats. I sat in pew with Esme on one side of me, and Benjamin on the other. Tia not wanting to be left out came and sat on my lap. I held on to both of them tightly.

After the service, the pallbearers made their way up to the coffins. I had asked some of my family and friends to help, including Jasper, Emmett, Mike, and James. Alec's best friends, Liam, Sam, and Chris were there, too. Alice tapped me on the shoulder. "Edward, they left a spot for you if you'd like to carry your brother out, but they weren't sure if you wanted to. If not Royce said he would do it for you."

I got up from my seat, passed Tia into Rose's arms, since Alice had Ben, and then walked up to the Alec's coffin and looked at my brothers, my mates. "Lets' make him proud." I took the left hand side at the front – I knew the significance to this; I was close to his heart.

Alice and Rose followed with Ben and Tia. Esme and Carlisle had Rose and Alice's children.

Once I had my brother safely in the back of the hearse, I walked over to the town cars and got in with the rest of my family, while we headed to St. John Cemetery. We have a family crypt where my parents and grandparents were. Carlisle and I had decided that this would be the final resting place for Alec and Jane.

The ride itself took about half an hour, and Ben and Tia were asking me all different kind of questions of what was going to happen now.

"Uncle Eddie, why are you so sad?" Tia was the first to open the line of questioning.

"Well, Baby, today we are going to bury your Mommy and Daddy. Do you understand what that means?"

"No?"

I had no idea how to explain it to them. I looked questioningly at Jasper when he turned around. He just shrugged his shoulders.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what I was about to say. "Mummy and Daddy have gone to live with the angels in Heaven. I know that you don't understand right now, but Mommy and Daddy are watching over you and will always be in your hearts. Do you understand?"

Ben was the first to say something "Why, dats no good?"

"Ben, baby, I would love for your mommy and daddy to still be here with all of us, but God needed them more than we did."

"Uncle Eddie?" I looked toward Tia. "So mys Mommy and Faddy is like Rocky da fish. Da one sick, at da top of da tank? We putted him in the gwound in da park. Is dat like mommy and daddy? We's don't sees Rocky no more."

"Yes, Princess, Mommy and Daddy are like Rocky. They will be there with Nana and Poppy." I looked at both of them and they just nodded their head.

I looked up and met Jasper's eyes. He nodded, "Edward, I am sure they grasp what you are explaining, I am sure that if they have any questions, they will ask someone."

I hope so, I don't know if I could handle them waking in the middle of the night asking me where their mommy and daddy where. "I hope so Jasper, I really do hope so," I sighed.

I stared out the window and noticed we were turning into St. John Cemetery. The car came to a complete stop in front of the family crypt and the back door opened. I shuffled the kids out first and we walked up to the area they had been set up for the service. I looked toward one side of the crypt and saw the names of my parents and grandparents. Turning my head to the other side I saw that it now bore Alec and Jane's names. I had never wanted to see them there until we were both old and grey, but it was not meant to be.

I took a seat at the front, and waited for the priest to go through the last words before burial. We had Tia and Ben do pictures to be placed inside the crypt with their parents and I had a letter for both of them.

Once the blessing was finished, I had pink lilies for Jane and white ones for Alec to go on top of their coffins. We were all to place a stem on each coffin, I helped the kids first; I had them place their pictures on top of the coffin and their lilies on top. I then placed my letter on each appropriate coffin and then my lilies. I watched as my family left a little something for each of them on top of their coffins as well as their lilies.

Watching Jane's mother and father was the hardest part. No parent should have to bury their child. I was grateful my parents were no longer here. This was already difficult enough. Her mother just hugged the coffin, asking God why her, while her father tried to sooth her and help her to move to sit back down. Justin was not having any luck moving his wife Sandy, so I got up and walked over to them. I leant down and kissed Sandy on the temple, told her that it was not Jane anymore, that Jane was in our memories and heart. It was just her shell, nothing more. Sandy and Justin looked at me and they both crushed me in the tightest hug, we just stood there crying.

I helped Justin get Sandy back to her chair, I told them that I loved them gave them a kiss on the cheek each and went back to my seat. Gathering both Ben and Tia onto my lap, I needed to feel them in my arms.

I could not bring myself to place my brother in his final resting place, so Royce stepped in for me. I watched Jane's coffin being moved first and placed; then I watched my brother's coffin being laid into the crypt. The door close and heard the clunking of the lock; I felt shivers run down my spine. I got up and placed the left over lilies on either side of the crypt. Placing my hand on the door, I whispered my final good-bye.

A small gathering was held at Flute on West 54th Street. We would only be there for two hours, since Esme had made it possible for the family lawyer, Demetri, to meet us at their place for the reading of the will. Justin and Sandy were going to stay with us until the weekend and then head back home. We all needed to be there for Ben and Tia. Even though Justin and Sandy lived in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, we thought it would be nice for everyone to stay together.

I was bought out of my musing when I noticed Momma E thanking people for coming to the funeral and the wake. I made my way over to her, kissed her cheek to thank her.

"What was that for Edward?"

"Just because, Mom, just because."

"Come now this is a party, let's say good-bye to everyone and get the little ones home. They have to be exhausted after the day they've had." Esme said, as she looped her arm through mine.

As we made our way around the room, thanking everyone for coming, by the time the last people left, it was just our family. We thanked Hervé for closing down for the few hours we were there, and for helping get everything organized with minimal fuss. I looked around the room and saw that Benjamin and Tia had pulled chairs up in front of their parent's pictures and were just staring at them.

I thought my heart would break all over again.

I walked up to where they were and I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I knelt in front of them. "Ben? Tia? Are you ready to go to Nana and Pop's place?"

They looked at me with tears stained faces and nodded. I gathered both of them up in my arms and told them to hang on. Once I felt their little arms wrap around my neck and their head on my shoulders, I lifted them up and started walking to the exit. Papa C came up to take one of them, but I shook my head no, I couldn't let either of them go.

Together, with my extended family following, we walked out to the waiting cars and headed for home.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

Once we got the twins in the door, it was now five in the evening. Alice and Rose took them from me to get them bathed and changed into their pajamas. A half an hour after we put them down to nap, the doorbell rang. Demetri was on time for the reading of both the wills.

Carlisle answered the door and Esme ushered everyone upstairs into the library–study.

Once everyone was settled in to a chair, Dametri started by giving us his personal condolences, he's been the family lawyer for as long as I could remember. He even attended the funeral earlier, which is how close he was to our family. For him this wasn't just business, it was personal.

"Okay, we all know why we're here. We gathered for the reading of Jane's and Alec's wills. I will read Jane's will first as it is simple." Demetri moved papers around in front of him.

"Jane left a little personal note. Is everyone ready?" Demetri looked around the room. Getting no objection, he began.

"_If Demetri is reading this to you, it means I am not longer amongst my family. Firstly if Alec is with you still, sorry you all miss out, everything goes to the love of my life. Honey, just remember that I love you and I know that you will be a wonderful father to our children. Please tell them that I love them every day..."_ Demetri stopped. "How about I just skip that bit, you can all read it later." Not waiting for an answer he continued,_ "If Alec has passed with me, I am sorry to burden you Edward with looking after our children and getting them through this troubled time. I hope the children are old enough to understand what is happening, but we are not in charge of our destinies and cannot choose when we leave this earth._

_Edward, it's with a heavy heart that I write this, I choose you to look after my children. I know that Alec has agreed with me on this matter. I know that you are sitting there with a stunned look on your face. I'd bet you're thinking that there has to be a mistake, there has to be someone better than you. There is not, I know you love the rug-rats just as much as Alec and I do. You are the only family we have Edward. Ben and Tia will need you, they know you. So please look after my beautiful children as if they were your own. If they are too young to understand now, when they get older, please explain I did not want to leave them, but that the choice was out of my hands._

_I have written letters for them; for each of their birthdays and special events that I might miss out on. I have thought of everything. You know how I am, always prepared. Demetri will deliver the letters every year to them from the day I have died. Alec will go into more detail in his will if he happened to part this earth by my side._

_Mom, Dad, if you are there in the room with Edward, please know that I would have given you the children but I know how your health has been, there is no way you two could possibly keep up with them. What I ask of you is to sit with them and tell them stories if they ask. Look at it as reminiscing, and not as missing me. They need to know what sort of a person I was growing up and I could not think of two better people to tell them._

_On a more personal note mom and dad, I am sorry you had to bury me today, I was hoping that I would be burying you two. No parent should have to bury his or her child and I am sorry for your pain and suffering. Remember always that I love you and I will be looking down from heaven, I will be that angel in the room, making sure you are all okay._

_Esme and Carlisle, thanks you for all the help you have given Alec and I over the years, especially after Edward Sr. and Elizabeth passed away. You do not know how much you helped Alec in his time of need back then, you also help shaped him in to the man that I married and the father he was to his children. He believed in true love because of his parents and the both of you._

_Esme between you and my mother, I'm not sure which one to thank the most when we had the twins. You both stepped in and helped me out immensely. So for this I thank you and I ask both of you to do the same now for Edward, he really has no idea what responsibility I have put on his shoulders, but with both of your help, he will make it through._

_Lastly, I have written everyone a personal letter. In these letters are tid-bits of information I would like you to remember me by and to tell my children. Just remember that I love each and every one of you and I wish this was not happening, but as I have said it is out of my hands. Edward one last note, Demetri has two letters, one for each Ben and Tia. Please read it to them, when you feel they are ready for it._

_Remember me in only the good times._

_I love you all._

_Jane."_

Once he was finished, Demetri cleared his throat. "One more to go, but can you give me a minute to get my emotions in check, I am sorry." Demetri got up from Papa C's winged back chair and walked out of the room.

As I looked around the room there wasn't a dry eye. I was wondering what everyone was thinking. Sandy came over to me and just hugged me from behind. I did not realize that had been what I needed, until right then. Like I was there for her at the cemetery she was here for me now in my uncle's library.

I heard Demetri come back into the room and resume his seat, "I will give you all the letters at the end of reading Alec's will. Let get started once again Alec did his will in a letter form to you all."

"_Babe, as you know if you are sitting with Demetri in front of you reading this out, you know that I am not there."_ Demetri stopped again, "Let me just scan this one as well."

"_Edward, my brother, my heart. If neither my beautiful wife Jane, nor I are not sitting with you right now; then an unfortunate tragedy as happened and I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart that I have left you. I know how terrible things were for you after mom and dad's death and I only hope you have Papa C and Mamma E there with you._

_Jane and I spoke at great length about who should be Tia and Benjamin's guardians, and every time we spoke about it, you were the name that was constant. I ask that you become their legal guardian. I have already drawn up all the papers with Demetri in case this day ever happened. Jane and I trust you with all of our hearts. I know you are worried, that you don't know what you're doing, but you have a great support system around you, just like we did._

_Trust me when I say, you have a big heart and Benjamin and Tia will only make it bigger. Edward, you've always thought that you're selfish, but you aren't! I know that you are set in your ways and routine and I understand this will change your life, but I think it will be for the better. You know if you had children and you were in my position right now, you wouldn't hesitate in the slightest to do this same thing. You will be a good father to my children; they will feel safe, protected, and loved. I know that you will treat them like they are your own and they will never want for anything with you Edward._

_You will make mistakes, but don't beat yourself up about it. Jane and I've made mistakes on a daily basis with the two rug-rats, as you so eloquently put it – all the time. Know I am there looking over you and helping where I can. I love you Edward, always! Remember that, if all else fails my love for you never will, not even in death._

_Edward, I leave you mom and dad's house, I hope in time you will move into it and make it your own like we did. Ben and Tia feel safe there and at the present time, I know it will be too much for you, but I am hoping that in time it will change. I have also set up trust funds for both of my children, one they will get when they turn eighteen for them to do as they wish. I am hoping you will guide them into spending the money wisely like you and I did. The other they will get when they turn thirty. This one will set them up for their future for their own families, just like dad did for us. I have also set up a college fund for both, whether they choose to go to University or take a different path in life and follow the arts. You will know when to give it to them…_

_Like Jane, I have also left my children letters. Edward they are for birthday and special occasions. Demetri will give them to you, a few days before as per my instructions. Edward, I would like you to walk Tia down the aisle on her wedding day._

_Demetri has separate letters for you all, separating all my other assets__._

_Love you all_

_Alec._

The room was silent once Demetri had finished reading Alec's will.

I was starting to feel the walls close in on me and needed to get out of the room.

"Demetri, I'll call you tomorrow if you don't need me for anything else. I can't sit in this room any longer," I said as I got up to leave.

"Not a problem Edward, I will leave the guardianship papers with Carlisle and I will call you tomorrow, just to..."

I nodded and exited the room. I wanted to make sure the Ben and Tia were okay, so I walked into Carlisle and Esme's room.

I broke down at the sight before me. Ben and Tia were cuddled into each other; Ben had his arm around his sister, as she lay with her head on his shoulder. I was now these two precious children's guardian. What was my brother thinking? Did he and Jane have rocks in their heads when they made that decision?

I am still shocked that they chose me!

I am not a fit father for these two. I don't even own a pet for the simple reason, MY JOB! It owns me, how the hell am I going to do this. Have two humans; two kids for that matter, relying on me. ME!

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned around. My mother's bright green eyes were staring at me.

"Edward, are you alright dear? Esme asked.

"I don't know if I can do this, Mom. These children need a stable home," I whispered. "I am not that! I work long hours, how am I going to give them what they need?"

"Edward, being a parent is never easy, even as they get older and leave to live their own life. Don't rush into any decisions yet. You have us for support, we will be here for you and those children, in whatever way you need us."

I'm not sure how long I stood there after Esme left, as I thought. I finally walked down stairs and told everyone I was going for a walk, I needed to get out of the house. I needed air, room to walk and more importantly… to think.

As I walked to Central Park I thought about what I needed to do for Ben and Tia.

Could I be a father two these beautiful children?

Could I work them into my life?

Could I help them mould their lives to help them become decent and honest adults?

Would they be better off if I found them a better home?

Is there someone else that could give them what they needed, better than I could?

I knew without a doubt that I loved them with my whole heart, but was that enough to be a good father? They needed a mother not a father, someone nurturing? I was not that. So many questions, no answers! How and why my brother and his wife would think of me to look after them, I just didn't understand.

There was only one thing left to do. I knew I wasn't good enough for them. I needed to find someone that could give them a home, someone that could love them unconditionally. Not a selfish, uncaring, womanizer for a father and mother. I would have to look at my options: placing them with either Alice or Rose, Esme and Sandy were out of the question; they had already raised their own families. If Rose or Alice couldn't do it, then the only other options I have is adoption or foster care.

It won't be easy to say good-bye to Tia and Ben but they need more than I could give them!

_Author's Note:_

_Thank you readers for hanging in with me. The last couple of weeks have been a little bit overwhelming for me. I have had a beta that is unable to help me anymore, Liz (momma2fan), I hope that everything goes well and I hope your husband is getting better. Please go and read her stories they are wonderful. I have also had a second scare of flooding and they are forecasting more rain this week… fingers crossed everyone, I don't think I could cope with another round of flooding. _

_For those of you that leave review's you will get a little something, something in return, this week, you get a look into the future of Bella and Edward._

_Take care everyone; please stay safe wherever you are, my prays and thoughts are with you all. Those in the USA that are going through the wild and woolly weather there. Those of you in Europe, stay safe as well. The weather all around the world is a little crazy at the moment. Those here at home everyone in Australia that are going through fire, flooding, rain and cyclone's, those that are cleaning up and battering down for what's is to come, thoughts and prays are with you also._

_Fiorella._


	6. No one can defeat us

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight),_ Liz (_momma2fan_) and Laura (_Momma Laura_) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 5**

**Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.**

**June 2010**

**BPOV**

I never thought this day would come!

Sitting here in the waiting room of Dr. Cullen's family clinic, I was nervous but excited. I had been dreaming of this day for the last month. I had made the appointment following my talk with family and friends after the house warming party.

I knew I'd arrived early, but I wanted to give myself enough time to fill out the hundred and one forms that doctors needed these days.

With the forms completed, all I could do now was sit and wait while I flipped mindlessly magazines. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was doing. My mind was so caught up in thinking back to the day when I had told everyone the choice I had made.

**Flashback:**

_As I was saying good-bye to the last of the guests, I heard my mother and Kate cleaning up the glasses and plates of food in the kitchen._

_I walked in to help them, but they had everything under control. I put on the kettle for tea before I organized the dining room table with a few refreshments. As I was walking to and from the kitchen, I was also asking who wanted coffee or tea._

_Char had organized the kids upstairs in the living room with a movie and popcorn, so we wouldn't be interrupted for a good hour. _

_As I placed the last cup of coffee on the table, I took my seat in between my mother and Char._

"_Thanks for staying after the party to help me clean everyone, I really appreciate it." The likely responses came, as I knew they would. "As you know, I would like to talk to all of you, and I consider you all a part of my family." I looked around at everyone._

"_Honey, we feel the same about you," Peter said._

"_There is reason I asked you all to stay behind this evening." I took a deep breath, exhaled to calm my nerves, and continued. _

"_You all have helped me through the last couple of months, not only with the house, but also with helping me rebuild my life after what happened with Felix." I heard a few muttered words come from different people, but I continued, ignoring the comments. "I know that you are all aware that I have been going to counselling, and that has helped me greatly to get through this mess," I said, waving my hand around. "I have been speaking with Embry about the next phase in my life, and I would like to now discuss with you what I plan on doing."_

"_I have wanted to start a family for quite some time now, and I have decided that next month I am going to go and talk to a Dr. Carlisle Cullen about making this happen." I heard everyone start to talk, and I held up my hands to silence everyone. "Before you all start talking over each other, let me tell you what I want. Then we can all discuss this calmly and rationally. You all know how much you mean to me, and your opinions are going to be taken into consideration, but you have to let me tell you what I have been thinking for the last past four months, now that I have seriously made up my mind on wanting to do this."_

"_As you all know, I added a nursery next to my bedroom upstairs. I was planning on waiting until the right man came along, but who knows how long that will take. I was talking to Jacob and Leah, my next door neighbors, and they have just done IVF and are expecting soon. Once Felix and I got married, we were going to start trying to have a baby right away, and that has not changed, the starting a family part, even though I'm not getting married to Felix. So after talking to Leah and Jacob that day, I decided IVF was the way for me to go, a way for me to start my family._

_I know that there are a lot of children out there who need a good home, and adoption and foster care are also options I have not ruled out. The waiting lists are so long for adoption, and the process to start foster care can take up to twelve months, if not longer, and both processes are time consuming. So I thought IVF was the way for me to go._

_I have done extensive research and decided that a donor from a credited sperm bank is my best option. Then I'll have Dr. Cullen take some of my eggs, and, well, you all know how it works from there. You don't need me to explain that to you. So I have not made an appointment yet; I have just spoken to Embry about it. I wanted to be sure that I am in the right frame of mind to start a family on my own, and he seems to think that I am ready for this next chapter. I have spent the last four months researching all about IVF. I've learned about the hormones I will need to take, the stress I will be putting my body under, the diet I will need to be on to start with–and the biggest obstacle that will affect me is- no caffeine!_

_So what I am asking from all of you is for support through this if I do choose to proceed. I would like you all to be on my side 100%, and if you can't, then please tell me now. I want an honest and open discussion with you all here and now. I want to know what my family is feeling about what I am saying, because you will all have to live with me through this. I am going to have some good days and some really shitty days. I won't be myself some of the time with the hormones going through my system. I need to make sure that you can help through those not so good days and talk me down off the proverbial ledge. _

_I will answer any questions you have for me as honestly as I can and with what I know. If I choose to do this, I will make an appointment with Dr. Cullen and talk to him first before I make my final decision." I had said what I needed to and sat back in my chair and waited for someone to start talking._

_As I looked around the table, everyone was silently thinking, and I was anxious to know what they were going to say, what questions they were going to ask, and why no one was talking yet._

"_I have one question for you. What happens when or if you meet someone?" Charlotte asked._

"_Char, you always bring this question up," I grinned at her. "You know there are a lot of single parents out there that find love. I look at it in a way that when and if do find the right person, he has nothing to worry about. My child has a donor father, not a physical father. We can set the rules; he is able to adopt this child as his own if he chooses to. If the person I meet is truly my other half, he will accept my reasoning for doing IVF – whether I meet him while I am pregnant or in the next ten years."_

"_Bella, honey, what happens if this does not work? What happens if this Dr. Cullen says that you are not ready for this? What will you do?" my father asked._

"_I have thought of that, and if Dr. Cullen tells me that I am not ready for this and I need to keep seeing Embry, then that is what I will do. I shall keep going until Dr. Cullen says I am ready. In that time, if I meet the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, then my options will change. I will still talk to Embry to make sure I can be the best mother for any child I bring into this world. As for what will happen if this does not work, I am not sure, Dad, but I will overcome it, just like everything else in my life." I leaned across my mother and patted his arm._

"_Bella, how did you find this Dr. Cullen?" my mother asked._

"_I was talking to Jacob and Leah, and they were telling me about the clinic they went through. They said that their doctor was really nice, and I should jump on their website and read all about it. While I was looking through the doctors that worked there, I liked Dr. Cullen more than the others, so I chose him. Dr. Cullen owns and runs the clinic; he still treats patients and is the leader in this field. I spoke to Embry about him, and he looked further into it for me. He found out that Dr. Cullen travels the world helping other countries set up similar practices like he has here in New York. His facility also works in conjunction with __New York Presbyterian University Hospital and helps run a lot of the research programs they do there. After reading all about him, I just had a feeling to go with him."_

_By the time we finished, I had answered everyone's questions; I was honest and up front with my family. I had only one question left to ask them!_

"_I am hoping that you are all content with the answers I have given you. I am now asking for your support, love, and understanding. Are you all willing to be by my side as I take the next step and contact Dr. Cullen and make an appointment?" I asked as I looked around the table. Everyone had either said yes or were nodding in agreement with me making an appointment._

**Flashback End.**

"Miss Swan." I looked up at the nurse standing near the hallway.

"That's me," I said as I got up from the chair.

As I neared the nurse, she held out her hand. "Nice to meet you, Miss Swan, I am Michelle. Follow me, and I will take you through to Dr. Cullen."

I shook Michelle's hand and then followed her down the hallway. She stopped in front of a door with Dr. Cullen's name on it. Michelle opened the door, and I followed her in.

"Please take a seat, Miss Swan; Dr. Cullen will be with you shortly," Michelle said just before she exited and closed the door.

I took a seat in one of the chairs in front of a big mahogany old style desk and looked around the room. On the wall behind Dr. Cullen's desk were his degrees and awards he had been given over the years. On the wall to my right was a large bookcase full of medical books. To my left was a wall of large glass windows, with the sheers pulled aside so you could see out of them. As I turned around to look at the wall behind me, I was amazed at what I saw. It was a wall full of smiling people holding their babies. I got up from where I was seated and walked closer to the wall to take a proper look.

As I stood in front of this wall assessing all the different families, I couldn't help but smile. Not only were there couples of all races and sexualities, but I was happy to see some single people in the mix, as well. I was overwhelmed by the look in their eyes. Their eyes all told the same story; they were happy, exhilarated, and overjoyed with the bundle they were holding. Their eyes sparkled!

I was so lost in the pictures that I did not hear Dr. Cullen come into the room and jumped slightly when I heard him call my name.

"Miss Swan, sorry! I did not mean to startle you."

"Sorry, Dr. Cullen, I was just looking at your miracle wall here. They all look so happy and content."

"I have never heard anyone call it that before. Yes, it is a miracle wall of sorts, and yes, I have had a lot of success stories. Please, Isabella, come take a seat and let's talk." Dr. Cullen took a seat behind his desk with his hand out to offer me a seat.

Once I was situated, I looked up at Dr. Cullen. It was the first time I had really _looked_ at him. He was a very handsome man for his age which was, I was guessing, around mid-fifties. He had beautiful pale skin, deep red lips, and crystal blue eyes. He also had an unusual color of bright blond hair; it was actually closer to white than it was to blond.

"Isabella, how can I help you today?" Dr. Cullen asked.

"Please call me Bella; I only get called Isabella by my parents when I am in trouble."

Dr. Cullen nodded his head.

"I am looking to start my family, Dr. Cullen. I am turning thirty-three this year and was supposed to be getting married this November. Unfortunately, I caught my partner cheating on me over five months ago. Since that time, I have done a lot of soul searching, and I have decided that I would like to start my family." I took a breath. I knew that I was talking fast, and I needed to calm down. "I know that it will be hard; I have spoken to my family and close friends about this. I have good solid support network behind me to help me through this. After the breakup from my long-term partner, I went to counseling to help get through the pain and the guilt that I was feeling. Once I healed from the separation, I spoke to my therapist about starting a family by myself. We have worked through this for the past two months, and I know this is what I want to do. I want to build the family I have always wanted, and I am here to ask you for your help today. First though, I really need to get some answers to some questions I have."

"I have to say, Bella; you definitely have put a lot of thought into this. You have already done half of the work for me. How about you tell me why you feel that it is time for you to start a family?"

"Dr. Cullen, when my ex and I were together, we had talked about starting our family straight away after we got married. Being an only child, it was always my dream to have at least three children, and it's still my dream. After the breakup with Felix, my ex, that dream never faded. Even through the healing process, that dream never changed. If anything, it has only gotten stronger. My girlfriends, Kate and Char, are behind me on this, but they also wish that I would wait until I've found the right guy for me. To be honest, I don't know when that's going to happen. It could happen next week or in ten years. If it happened in ten years, there is no chance of having children then. I also know down deep in my soul, I am supposed to be a mother. Dr. Cullen, have you ever heard of the children books Pixie-dust Fairies?"

"Yes, Bella, I have. I have six grandchildren, and out of them, four are girls. So yes, I have definitely heard of Pixie-dust Fairies," he laughed. "Why do you ask?"

"I started writing them a year ago. I knew I was going to start having a family soon, and I wanted something of mine to read to them. I am also the writer of Entrusting Wares series, and I know that series is not appropriate for children. So I started my own children's book series. I never expected it to take off like it did, but now everyone loves the fairies," I laughed, and so did Dr. Cullen. "This is not just something that I have thought about overnight. It is, however, something that I have only just decided to put into action in the last month–once I knew I had every member of my family agreeing to stand behind me and help me."

"I have to say again, Bella, you really have done a lot of homework and preparation before coming and seeing me today. How about we start with any questions you might have about IVF and the procedure?"

As I asked my questions and Dr. Cullen answered them, I was taking notes here and there, and he was doing the same. I really did do my homework before I spoke to Dr. Cullen, but I really did not understand the stress this would put on my body. I did not realize the tests I would need to take before we even started. Or about the drugs and hormones I would need to take before they even harvested any eggs. Nor the pain I could go through just to over-stimulate and develop extra eggs. I would need more rest during the whole process, as my body would be under a different type of strain and stress from the hormones I'd be taking. He also told me about the prenatal vitamins I'd need to start taking prior to my cycle; I would need to start taking these at least two to three months before we even began. I told Dr. Cullen that I was already taking the vitamins and had been on them now for two months. I would need to have a flexible schedule as he charted my cycle for the first few months.

Dr. Cullen told me that my diet would have to change. I would have to cut out all coffee, alcohol, and eat food higher in protein and low in salt and potassium. The reason for this is to avoid hyper-stimulation. I had no idea what that was, so Dr. Cullen went on to explain that this is when the ovaries become painful and swollen and a build-up of fluid may accumulate the abdomen or the chest. Personally, I don't want that to happen, so I would be sticking to the diet he prescribed.

Dr. Cullen then told me about the procedure, itself. There were different hormones I could be on and it might affect my body and moods. Dr. Cullen then went on to say that I would need someone to give me the shots. I can bring that person in, and they'll be trained how to do it. Dr. Cullen also informed me that it is good to rotate the shot site from one side to the other, as it can start to get painful after a while. He also said that since I travel a lot, I need to make sure I take the shot at the same time as I would here in New York. He said I might also find that I feel a little bloated after traveling because of the hormones.

Then he told me about the process of the egg removal. I would be given a mild intravenous sedative, and the eggs are then withdrawn with a big-ass needle through the wall of my vagina. Hmm, that sounds like fun–not! He then passes them off to the embryologist. He or she will then separate the eggs in a special solution; once this is done, the sperm is introduced for the good old fertilization to occur. Then they culture the embryos in an incubator for up to five days until they mature. Once this occurs, they place the egg or eggs back into my uterus in a very painless procedure. I liked the thought of the 'painless' part.

Dr. Cullen then touched lightly on Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis. This is where they screened the embryo or embryos for disease, thus eliminating any chance of passing on any abnormalities. This will also allow me to choose the gender of my baby, if I decide I want to. I was more interested in the diseases that could be eliminated, so we talked more on that, than the sex of the baby.

Once we finished talking about everything, Dr. Cullen asked if I had any further questions about the process. I did have a few questions about recovery time and how long I would have to wait to find out if the implantation worked. Once I was happy all my questions were answered, I noticed Dr. Cullen had a few more for me.

"Bella, I would like to ask you a few more questions before I decided if it is viable for you."

"Sure, Dr. Cullen, ask away."

"I'd like to know if you have thought of any options apart from IVF?"

"I have, Dr. Cullen. I have thought about adoption as well as being a foster parent. Adoption is a longer process than this one, and I don't think I could take the heartache or the pain if I was promised a child, got ready for it, and come the day of delivery, they decided they don't want to give the child up for adoption anymore. That would devastate me. I also have no problem adopting any child up to their teens–there are lots of children out there that need a stable home environment, and I am more than happy to do this if you feel this is not the option I should take.

I am still thinking about being a foster parent. I'm not sure if I could give a child a home for a couple of years and help this child develop only to later learn that his or her parents have hurt, abused, or done something to harm the child (whether it be physically or mentally) only for this child to be placed back into the system. That would tear me apart. I know you have to be a really strong person to be a foster parent, and I am not sure I am at that place yet or ever would be."

"Well, I have to say, Bella, you have put a lot of thought into this process from all angles. If I choose not to help you in this area, I really do hope that you are able to adopt. For now though, I think I can help you. I know that you said that you were only coming here for information today, and I hope that I've helped you. If you have any further questions, here is my card. I have my cell number on there so you can call me directly with any other questions you might have."

I took the card from Dr. Cullen. "Thank you for answering my questions and helping me understand the process better. I know that I'd read all the books on the process, but listening to your valuable information has helped. I'll go home and talk to my family some more, and I'll call you back."

"You're welcome, Bella; let me know what you've decided. You have a wonderful week, and I look forward to hearing from you soon."

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. You, too, have a good week." I got up, shook his hand, and walked back down the hall and out to my car.

I was feeling at peace with myself and knew that this is what I wanted to do; I just hoped that Dr. Cullen felt the same way. Only time will tell. I had to go home now and digest everything I had learned today and talk to my family again.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

It had been a week since I had spoken to Dr. Cullen, and today I was having my family and friends over for Friday night dinner. Mom and Dad were staying with me for the weekend, and they were dying to find out what had happened. The only thing I had told everyone was that meeting with Dr. Cullen had helped me in my decision on what path I was going to take. I now had to inform my parents and friends what I was going to do.

It was two in the afternoon, and I was standing in my kitchen preparing the pork roast and all the trimmings for tonight's dinner. I had the oven heating, the rolled lean pork on the chopping board, and David Bowie's platinum album playing through the speakers in the kitchen.

I was singing along to Starman when I heard the phone ringing. I turned the volume down on the panel on the wall and looked at my phone. It was my mother.

"Hey, Mom. How are you?"

"Bella, dear, your father and I are running late. Sammy, the young man I tutor, is running late. So we won't be there close to five. Is that okay, dear?"

"That won't be a problem, Mom. Just let me know when you and Dad are close. Be careful; you know city traffic at that time of the afternoon will be hell."

"We know, dear, that's why we wanted to be there around four. Do you need me to bring anything?"

"No, Mom, I have everything organized. I am just doing the pork now, and then I am going to do the homemade apple sauce Dad likes. That will keep me entertained for awhile. Just leave as soon as you can. I can't wait till you get here; I'm really looking forward to spending the weekend with you both. I have tickets for the baseball game tomorrow for Dad and the guys and kids and we, ladies, are going to spend the day at the spa."

Mom squealed like a schoolgirl, "Oh, I can't wait till tomorrow. Now I know the drive over will be worth it."

I laughed at my mother and said good-bye to her and told her to drive safely and I would see her around five.

I turned the music back up and went back to the counter to finish peeling the garlic. Once I had this done, I took one of my small knives and started to enlarge the slits in the pork rind so I could fit the garlic and rosemary into them. Once I had this completed, I grabbed the roasting dish, poured oil into it, and lifted the pork into the dish. I rolled the pork around in the oil, making sure it was coated evenly. I washed my hands so I could rub salt onto the oiled rind and make it perfectly crackly. My father loved my crackly. I always made sure it was never too salty. Once I had all of this done, I put the pork into the oven to cook. Because I was feeding ten people, I got a six-pound roast. It had to cook for close to five hours.

I peeled the apples next for the apple sauce, and I got the ingredients out to make gravy, as well. I hated using a gravy mix. To me, this was the cheating way to make gravy. All you needed were the juices from the pork, plain flour, and a friend of mine's secret ingredient; Vegemite. Yes, she is Australian, and it's not only good for toast but also good for my gravy.

I started peeling all the vegetables. I have decided on butternut squash, potatoes, onions, carrots, mushrooms, and cloves of garlic. I had also gotten broccoli and asparagus, and I was going to do Grandma Swan's cauliflower in white sauce and cheese.

By the time I had all of this done, it was close to three. I wanted to take a bath and set the table before everyone arrived. I'd also gone down into the cellar and picked out a couple of bottles of red to go with dinner; I had picked the 2006 Eyrie Vineyards Dundee Pinot Noir, it was a medium-weight wine not as heavy as a merlot and would go nicely with the pork. I aired both bottles and then set the dining room table.

Once I had everything completed, I went upstairs and started the bath my body needed. I was emotionally somewhere between anxious and excited. Anxious about what everyone would think (hopefully they were all behind me still) and excited about telling everyone how things went.

Once I was fully relaxed, I hopped out of the bath and dressed in my comfy jeans and a T-shirt. I slipped on my ballet flats and headed back downstairs to check on everything in the kitchen. Everything was cooking wonderfully, and the aroma coming from the kitchen was mouth-watering.

I did not realize how late it was till the doorbell sounded. I opened the door and saw my parents through the peep-hole. As I opened the door, I was assaulted by my mother with hugs and kisses, and she was talking a mile a minute about their trip.

"Bella, you should have seen the roads; it's crazy out there. You really should have bought your house outside of the city. There is no parking here, and the traffic jams are horrendous. Do you know that your father and I sat stationary for over twenty minutes? Really, Isabella, they should do something about the roads." Renee was babbling as she walked into the kitchen.

"Hi, Dad. So I guess it wasn't an easy drive over?" I asked as I hugged and kissed him on the cheek.

"You know your mother over-exaggerates everything, dear," he said loud enough for Mom to hear and winked at me.

"I heard that, Charlie, and I do not!" she scolded.

I helped Dad bring in the luggage for their stay. I called the elevator so we could load the luggage and take it up to their room on the fourth level. Mom loved to look over the back garden, and this room had the perfect view. Dad accompanied the luggage up; it was the only time I really used the elevator. I usually used the stairs.

I walked into the kitchen and found Mom making herself a vodka and tonic, so I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and popped it open for Dad.

"How was your day, Mom?"

"I was so busy. I have been cleaning all day, then went and did some shopping for the bare essentials, and then cooked your father a lovely lunch. Thank you so much for the recipe last week, by the way. I then had three students to tutor this afternoon; and _that_ is the reason we were late."

Mom and I talked a while longer waiting for Dad to come back downstairs. We made our way out into the garden and sat at the table under the umbrella. I was filling Mom in on the new book that I had started when I heard the doorbell again.

I excused myself and went to open the door for my friends. Greeting them all and the kids was a loud and rowdy affair. Char took them all upstairs and started a movie for them. As she was coming down, I had a nice glass of red in hand for her, and we made our way back out to the garden. It was nice to catch up with them and see how their week was going and what the kids had been up to.

The timer in the kitchen went off, and Charlie, Peter, and Garrett came to help me pull all the food out of the oven. As I plated the vegetables, the men decided they would carve the meat. It was funny to watch three grown men fight over the best way to carve. I personally say stick a carving fork in it and start cutting. It was like watching doctors getting ready for surgery. Twenty minutes later, I had the gravy done, the food plated, and was ready to serve. I had already put all the other food on the table and called everyone to sit.

We served the kids first and then ourselves. It was nice to sit around and have a meal with my family. Even though Char and Kate were not my biological sisters, they sure felt like they were. It was a typical dinner, everyone trying to talk over each other, loud laughing, and every now and then, a disagreement of some sort, which would end up with someone jeering at someone else for the sake of it. It would always end in tears of laughter, of course.

Once everyone had finished their meals, Garrett went to get the kids settled in front of a movie again, while all of us ladies cleared the table, packed the dishwasher, cleaned what dishes did not fit or could not go in, and made coffee. I placed a red-velvet cake on the table to have with our coffee. I was starting to get nervous now. Would they really support me in my dream to have children?

Once everyone was settled, my mother was the first to start.

"Okay, Bella dear, we all know why we're really here this evening. How did your appointment go?" She was really never one to mince words.

"Dr. Cullen is a very pleasant man. He talked me through the procedure and what to expect over the next couple of months if I choose to do this. He also spoke about other options like we did. But my only concern is everyone around the table. Dr. Cullen could not stress enough that I shouldn't do this if I don't have the support of the people around me. I'm going to need all of you throughout this, from the hormone treatments to the egg harvesting and implantation. So if any of you are truly against me doing this, I need you to tell me now. I can't afford for any of you to be negative around me. My body will be going through enough, and if I know beforehand, at least we can get it all out in the open now. Not in three or four months' time."

I was done talking, and everyone was quiet.

"Bella, you know I love you like a little sister," Peter piped up. "I'm not saying not to do this, but have you really considered and looked into adoption? There are a lot of children that need parents."

"Peter, I have thought about it, and the process to get a child through adoption takes forever. I'm not saying I have ruled it out yet. Dr. Cullen hasn't given the go ahead yet; it was only our initial meeting. He could still turn around and say he won't do this for me. So the option of adoption or being a foster mother is not ruled out. I'm keeping all doors open at this stage."

Kate asked about the process of what my body will go through over the next six months, so I told everyone what Dr. Cullen had told me. I went into depth; I handed out the pamphlets he had given me and some of the information from the books I had read. I told my mother that I would like her to come to as many appointments as possible, to take my mind off what was happening. She told me she would be behind me 100% of the way.

The only person that was not saying much at all was my father. I always knew he was a reserved man, but I really needed to hear what he had to say on this matter.

"Daddy, you are awfully quiet. I need to know what you are thinking? I need to know that you'll support me. If you have any concerns, you can't be quiet on this one–I need your input."

"Baby girl, you know that I'm happy with whatever you choose. I am your father and will support any and all of the choices you make, as long as they're not illegal. I will be there to hold your hand for whatever you need. I know that you're a meticulous person; you would have done hours of research and thought of every avenue. All there is left to tell you is to go ahead and be happy, and if this makes you happy, then I am happy." He smiled at me.

I got up from my chair and walked over and sat on my father's lap. I put my arms around his neck and cuddled him. "Thank you, Daddy. I really appreciate what you just said," I whispered into his ear so only he could hear.

We all talked some more about everything, and once Kate, Charlotte, Peter, and Garrett were happy I answered all of their questions sufficiently, they all gave me their blessing and said they would be beside me every step of the way. Conversation moved on to other topics, and before long, we realized the kids were too quiet. When I looked at the clock, I could not believe it was nearing 10:00 p.m. I said good night to everyone. Mom and Dad were in the kitchen doing the last of the cleaning. I walked in and helped them with what was left.

"Bella, are you going to call Dr. Cullen and set up another appointment tomorrow?" Dad asked.

"Yes, Dad. I don't want to wait any longer; I really want to do this. Now that I have everyone's support, I'm excited. I'm really happy that you both want to be by my side every step of the way."

Mom came over and hugged me. "So are we, baby–I can't wait to be a grandma, even if it's not the usual way, I'm excited all the same. I can't begrudge you this, my baby. You have wanted this your whole life, and I'm glad you've decided to do it on your own."

"Thank you, Mom. I just hope you know how much I love you both."

"We know, dear, we really do know. We both love you, as well," my father said as he hugged me. "Come on now. You have a busy day ahead of you. Let's get some shut-eye."

I followed my parents up the stairs, turning off lights as we went.

Tomorrow is my new beginning, and I was really looking forward to starting it.

**Authors Note:**

I hope you all enjoy the chapter. I know it is a day late but I have decided that I will be updating on Monday evenings (Australian time.) It makes it just a little easier for me. Also last week was a bit of a no show for me, as I spent the week in bed with a chest infection, laryngitis and bruised vocal cords. I was on bed rest with no talking allowed. I walked around home with a pad and pen. It was no fun at all.

I have a few recommendations for you all. So please go and enjoy them.

**Learning to Trust **by** gypsy411**

Bella has been shipped off to live with her dad after her mom decides she doesn't want her anymore. Now Bella must decide whether to continue living how she has been or if she is going to let those around her in. Will she be able to trust the people she thought she once knew? - _You will truly hate Renee in this story, but a good read._

**Isabella Marie Swan Volturi The Fourth Ruler **by **TwistedWhiteWolfLegend**

sabella Marie Swan Volturi is the sister of the three kings Aro, Marcus and Caius. She can behold any power she wished and the true ruler of the vampires before Aro takes her spot when she leaves to travel the world. In the year 2009 does she only decides to become her original 18-year-old human self and falls in love with Edward.

Only after 300 years on the day of her vampiric birth and the day he left does she return home. What will happen when Edward finds out who Bella really was_? - This is an interesting read on Bella life as a vampire. I enjoyed a different out take of her life. Look at it this way she has some wicked powers._

Please sign in so you can get your outtake for the next chapter. I had a few anonymous reviews and I am unable to send you an outtake.

See you all in three weeks.

Fiorella


	7. Truly great friends are hard to find

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Laura (Momma Laura) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 6**

**Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. **

**June 2010**

**Alice POV**

I watched Edward walk out of house, and he looked defeated. I could not believe that someone so young could have so much happen to him. I have known Edward since high school, and I was there when his parents passed away. Edward took it harder than Alec. Alec was able to work through it by talking to Carlisle, but Edward? He suffered in silence. I have a feeling that is when he decided that relationships were not for him.

That is when he closed his heart off to the women in the world. He turned into a serial dater, and when he could not get what he needed from that, he turned into a playboy. Edward really does fit the description of what that word means. Rich, bachelor from Manhattan, good looking and knows it, and he can back it up with being a sought after heart surgeon. He loved to attend certain soirees when he's not working, and he picks up every hussy in New York. Don't be fooled. Even though people have money, does not mean they have class. Take a look at Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan – defiantly no class there, and yes, they are the sort of girls my dear cousin picks up.

"Honey, what are you thinking about?" Jasper asks as he wraps his arms around me.

"I have a bad feeling about this, Jazz. I think Edward is going to run from this responsibility. I have a feeling he is going to pass those two beautiful children off to Rose and Emmett or us. I could see it in his eyes before he left; he looked frightened."

"He would not do that to Alec. He knows how much those children meant to his brother."

"That does not mean he won't walk away from this if he knows one of us will take them. He is too set in his ways. He loves the single life and does not want that to change. But on top of that he never had the kids longer than a night. He is going to find a way to get out of this," I told Jasper as I turned around in his arms and looked into his eyes. "Jazz, he is hurting and not thinking straight. You and Emmett know Edward, and when he is faced with fear, he runs. Look what happened after his parents' death. Looked what happened before he started his residency. He runs all the time. You know I am right!"

"I know you are, but I am hoping that he will change this time and step up and look after his brother's children," Jazz said hugging me closer to him.

After some silence, Jasper spoke again. "Alice, we can't let him walk out of these kids. He is all they have left. We have to make sure he understands this, and between all of us, we will. You hear me, darling? We will make sure of it. He will look after those two precious children. I know it. He wouldn't let his brother down like that. After everything they have been through, there is no way."

"I hope you are right, Jasper Cullen. I hope you prove me wrong this time," I said looking up into Jasper's gentle eyes and squeezing him back.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

**EPOV**

I had been walking around Central Park for over two hours, and I needed to get back to Uncle Carlisle's and pick up Mia and Ben. I had to take them back to my place and get them settled. Tomorrow I would head over to Alec's and Jane's house and collect some clothing and a few other items. I really did not want to do that, but Mia and Ben needed to feel safe and secure for now. It seemed that everyone that lived at the house – my parents and then Alec and Jane – died, and I could almost think that it was jinxed. No way in hell I was next! No way could I live around all their memories; it is just too much. My heart is too tormented and broken.

I am going to have to talk to everyone; I am not the right person to look after these two. There has to be someone better than me. How can I give up everything that I have built, everything that I have sacrificed over the last fifteen years? I have come too far to give up on it all now.

Ben and Tia need stability! They need to feel loved! Yes, I have spent time with them, know them a bit, but really… why did they choose me? Alice and Jasper would have been a better choice than me. Heck, even Rose and Emmett would have ticked more boxes than me. What the hell was my brother thinking when he made this decision?

I will have to make sure he was not drunk when he signed the will.

'_Pull your head out of your ass, Edward. All you have to do is get through the next couple of days. Once that is done, we can give the kids to Alice or Rose," _the Devil that was my self-conscious was telling me.

Yes, that is all I need to do – make it a few days, then I can get back to work, and life will return to normal.

'_You really think this is wise? You brother trusted you; he had the faith in you to raise his kids and be a mentor to them. Help them realize their hopes and dreams, _the Angel of my self-conscious rebutted.

Hopes and dreams get crushed and ripped away from you – take a look my life, almost everyone that I have ever loved is no longer around.

'_That's the way. Strong hard facts will help you win the argument with yourself. Take that, pretty boy Angel,' _the Devil said.

'_Really? You are going to stoop that low and call me a pretty boy? Take it home to your mamma; there are more important things to talk about here, like Benjamin and Tia.' _

Okay, it's time to turn off the inner monologue; it sure isn't helping. I'm going to have to sit down and really talk with my family and see if my aunt or cousins can take the kids. They will be better off, and at least with one of them, they'll have full and happy life. Their lives would only turn out like shit if they stayed with me.

I walked back to Esme and Carlisle's house. Digging deep into my psyche, I had to get myself ready to take Ben and Mia home to my place. I am not sure what I am getting myself into, but I will give myself a week to adjust. If I can't do it, I will have to come up with a solution. But I doubt that my brother and Jane have chosen the right person for these two kids.

"I'm back," I yelled once I opened the door.

"How was your walk, dear? Do you feel better?" Esme asked.

"Yes and no. I have more questions than answers. How am I going to cope with two kids and work? I am not sure that Jane and Alec thought this through properly. I am not father material, Mom."

"Edward, dear, you know why your brother picked you? Because they are your blood, they are your brother's kids. They are your family! They only have you to rely on, and you need to step up and look after them. You know you can do this, Edward. You know these kids need you."

"Okay, I am going to get them organized and get them home, bathed and fed. It's getting late, and they need some normality, just like I do. Where are they?"

"I will go and get some food for you for tonight. The kids are upstairs in the movie room watching a show with the rest of the kids," Esme said as she walked off.

I went upstairs to the movie room, stood at the door, and watched all the kids sitting there quietly. I did't want to disturb them; I just wanted to leave them here and take off. But I had an obligation to look after these kids now, and at least–to try.

"Ben, Tia, it's time to go! Say goodbye to everyone. Give them all hugs and kisses, and then we will go and see Grandma and Grandpa Cullen and say goodbye to them," I said.

As I watched them all hug and kiss, I started to feel lost.

I walked them downstairs into the kitchen. They were in the kitchen getting everything together for me to take home for our dinner.

"Edward, dear, I have put food in here for when you all get hungry. I have put some eggs, bacon, tomatoes, and bread in here for breakfast. Tomorrow I will come around and help get some dinners organized, and we can do your shopping as well."

Carlisle came up and stood in front of me. "If you need anything at all, you just call us, and we shall be there in no time at all. We are here for you. I understand that this is not going to be easy, but give it some time. You will fall into a routine, and you will see it will get easier. They need you now; you are their only family left," he said hugging me.

"Thanks, dad. I appreciate it. I'll call if I need anything. Will I see you tomorrow?" I questioned.

"I will be there with Esme. We can child-proof the house together," he said patting my shoulder.

"Okay you two, time to get these two precious ones home and settled," Esme said.

"I don't want to go home to my house! I want to stay with Uncle Eddie," Tia said.

I knelt down in front of her. "We are going to my house. Tomorrow grandma and grandpa are going to come over, and from there, we will sort everything out, okay?"

Tia and Ben nodded. I grabbed both of their hands and walked to the front door. They hugged and kissed Esme and Carlisle goodbye, and I got them into the town car that Carlisle had organized for us, and we headed back to my place.

I did not have the heart to fight them on anything. They did not want to eat when we got home, they did not want to shower; all they wanted was go to bed.

I took them into the spare rooms. I did not want any arguing so I had them pick which room they wanted. They both decided that they did not want either room for the night. They wanted to sleep in my bed, with me.

I was lucky that Esme had packed a small bag of cloths for them, so I scouted through it and found PJ's for them both. I got them changed; their teeth brushed and put them into my bed. I put on a movie for them that was also in the bag and went to have a shower. I needed to wash the day off me.

Once I had gotten out, I put on a pair of cotton sleep pants and walked back into my room. Both of them were passed out, so I turned off the overhead light and left the bathroom light on for them. I left the movie going just in case they woke up and went out into the kitchen.

I went straight for the hard liquor–fifteen-year-old Dalmore Gran Reserva scotch whiskey. I didn't pull it out often, but tonight it was needed. I poured myself a glass and took it up to my piano. I needed a release. The anger, sadness, frustration and worry swarming around my mind, body and soul needed an outlet, and this is the only way I knew how.

I took a gulp of the whiskey, put my hands onto the keys, and started to play Puccini's 'O Mio Babbino Caro'. I let all the emotion I was feeling dispense from my heart into my fingers; the pain of being the only one left behind on this earth, the suffering I had felt over the years for the loss of my parents, and now the loss of my only brother and my only sister as well. Added to that was the pain and suffering for the two children downstairs sleeping and the loss they have encountered and did not understand completely. I had not realized I was crying until the tears hit my hands on the keys below.

As the song morphed from Puccini into Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, I let my body go. My shoulders were shaking, the sobs that were leaving my mouth were no longer silent. It got to the point I had to stop playing I was missing notes, and all I wanted to do was overturn my beloved piano, and smash my glass of whisky against the wall. I had surpassed upset and sorrow, now I was at anger.

Anger over losing my family, my best friend and the only person that still linked me to my parents.

I realized I was really alone now! I could only depend on myself. I had nothing left. Everything has been taken from me…

The only thought now left running through my head was _WHY GOD? HAVE I NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH?_

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

I was jolted awake by a scream. I jumped out of bed and ran into the kid's room. They had decided to sleep in the same bed. Ben was hugging Tia trying to calm her down. I walked over and sat down on the bed beside her. I started running my hand though her hair, hoping to God it would calm her down.

I looked at Ben. "Was it a bad dream?"

He just nodded and went back to whispering into his sister's ear.

I felt useless.

How was I supposed to help these kids?

What the hell was I supposed to do?

I got up from the bed and went back to my room. I started pacing the floor trying to think of anything that might calm Tia down. The only answer I could come up with was to call Esme, so that is what I did.

I kept pacing with the phone to my ear, listening to it ring.

"Hello"

"Esme, I need some help. Tia had a bad dream and I don't know what to do to settle her?"

"Edward, where are Ben and Tia now?" Esme said.

"I left them in the spare room to call you. What do I do?" I asked getting agitated.

"Edward, what would your mother do when you were upset or frightened?"

"She would sit with me, rub my back and sing to me till I calmed down. If that didn't work, she would get me milk and cookies."

"Well, don't you think that would help Ben and Tia sweetie? I am sure if you thought about things before you called me at... two in the morning, you would know what to do. If that does not work, then move them into bed with you, put on a movie, and they will be a sleep in no time, trust me on that," Esme said sweetly.

"Thanks, Mom, I really appreciate you talking me off the ledge."

"That's what I am here for, now go and see how they are doing, and we shall see you again in the morning." With her final words, she hung up on me.

I walked down the hall again, to where Tia and Ben were resting. As I walked into the room, both of them were crying. I had no idea if this would work, but I was going for Esme's last option first. I went to the side of the bed and climbed up onto it and pulled both of them into a hug.

"I have an idea. How would you to like to come into my bed like you did the first night and watch a movie with me? I know my place is still not familiar to you, and you only have been here a couple of times, but I am sure if we are all together it will be a little less scary for you both. What do you say?" I look down at them.

They both nodded their heads at me, so I was going to bet that was a 'yes.'

"How about you pick out a movie that you both like, and we can head to my room."

They both scrambled off the bed and went to their bags. As they pulled out different movies, they had a silent conversation with each other, and Tia's movie won, from the looks of it.

"You have both decided on that one?" I pointed at Tia's movie.

They both whispered 'yes' and nodded their heads that the same time as answering me.

"Okay let's go and watch it." I said as I lead them out the door back to my room.

They clung to my side as we walked down the corridor as if the bogie man was going to jump out and get them at any moment. As we walked into my room, I lifted them up onto the bed, one at a time. They got situated up against the headboard. Tia looked at me with her big glassy eyes and held her hand out with the DVD in it.

I took it from her and walked over to the DVD player I had set up in my room and put in the movie and started it for us. I walked back to my bed and climbed in.

"Why don't you guys make yourself comfortable? Lie down and I will tuck you in." They did as I asked and I pull the comforter over them. I lay back on my side of the bed just as the movie started.

I was not really paying any attention to the movie or what the kids were doing. I was thinking about if I could really help these two or not. I kept asking myself the same questions. Kept repeating everything that I was thinking about today and I was getting nowhere at all.

I came to a conclusion. I would give myself the full week and see how it went. If by the end of the week I still felt lost, I would have to come up with an alternative living arrangement for these two. I was not going to fuck up their lives like mine had been. Don't get me wrong, up to the point my parents had passed away, I had a wonderful life and family. Once they passed, everything went downhill.

I am a workaholic and I love what I do. My life revolves around me, and that is the way I like it. No one can get hurt, no one to disappoint, no one to lose, no one but me! I enjoyed living by myself; I enjoyed doing what I want when I wanted, with no one to tell me what to do. I don't know if I can do it all, though. Can I give this life up? Do I want to give this life up? These were the questions I kept asking myself and every time I answered them, I got a different answer.

I snapped out of my train of thoughts when I heard the credits playing. I looked over to the other side of the bed, and both of them were passed out. I turned off everything including the light and tried to get back to sleep.

Tomorrow was another day!

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

It had been a week and a half since I brought the kids home with me. I was failing at every turn.

I had no idea how to read them; I could not understand what they wanted or when they wanted it, and I was tired.

Tired of trying to please everyone but me!

Tired of second guessing myself!

Tired in general from work and looking after Ben and Tia.

Every night, one of them would have a nightmare. Then I would move them into my bed, and they became like fucking worms, wriggling everywhere. I think my balls are bruised from the amount of times they have been kicked. I am sure I have bruises all over my body from being kicked or punched in my sleep from one or both of them.

I was not cut out to be a parent, let alone the two parents these two were missing. I swear to God they hated me with a passion. If I asked them to do something, they would first ignore me. When I asked them a second time they would look at me as if I was stupid and spoke another language. I got to the point of walking away and just doing it myself! Then when I would not give in and I asked them to do it a third time, they would yell at me "You are not my mother or father!" and storm off into their room.

I knew they needed time to adjust, but fuck, I was going nuts. I was ripping my hair out, and if I kept this up any longer, I would be bald by my next birthday.

So today I came to the conclusion that I was taking them to Alice's for a few hours while I spoke with Mom and Dad. I was done, and I was handing these kids over to someone else!

I had already dropped them off, and I was walking to Esme and Carlisle's. We were going to have a nice lunch together and talk about the last week and a half.

I know they are going to be disappointed in me, but my main argument is that I was not the best person to look after them. They need love, security, and a home, and I had none of that to offer. That was my argument, and I was sticking to it.

I rang the doorbell, and I knew that Mom and Dad were going to challenge me this afternoon; I was failing them, but I knew what these kids needed, and it wasn't me. I was starting to get nervous about what laid ahead of me.

Esme opened the door with a huge smile on her face.

"Edward! Your early. Come on in, darling. We can talk in the kitchen until lunch is ready."

I walked in and gave Mom a big hug and kiss on the cheek.

"How are you and Dad going?"

"We are doing fine, dear. How are you doing with Tia and Ben? Making any progress at all with them?"

"No, they fight me on everything, but I guess that is what it's like these days."

"You have to give them time, Edward. They just lost their parents. Remember what you were like when you lost yours."

"I am trying to keep that in mind, Mom, but... anyway, enough about that for now. I need to talk to you and Dad about something today," I said as I walked behind her into the kitchen. "Where is Fad anyway?"

"He is in his study and will be down in a few minutes. He is just finishing up a conversation with Emmett. Did you know he is taking Rose and the girls to Europe for Christmas this year? He wants to take them to Prague, Paris, Rome, and Venice and is getting hotel names from your father."

"It's only June; why not wait until closer to the date?"

"You know what Emmett is like; he has to be prepared for everything."

"Edward, my boy, how are you feeling?" Carlisle walked in and clapped his hand on my shoulder.

"I am doing okay, Dad, how are you?" I turned and give him a manly hug.

"I am doing wonderful. The sun is shining, and the birds are chirping. What is there to complain about?"

I could think of a lot to complain about, but I did not tell them that.

"So you told me on the phone you wanted to talk to Mom and me, so are we going to do this now or after lunch?"

"We should wait until after lunch. Lets have a nice time first."

I help Mom set the table, and we sat and ate, keeping the conversation light. It was like they knew what I was there to talk to them about. It was like they were already forming their argument against what I had to say, but then again, I could just be paranoid.

I helped Mom clear the table and put the left over's away. We did the dishes together while Dad put the coffee on for us to have while we sat around the table and talked.

I took my seat, watching Mom and Dad work around the kitchen in unison. I knew I was not ready for marriage, but watching them work like this made me envious of what they had. I wondered if one day I would ever find anyone that would work with me like that. As fast as the thought crossed my mind, it was gone again. No one would want to live with a workaholic, A-type person like me!

"So, dear, let's get this talk you wanted with us started. I have a feeling what this is about, but I am not going to form any judgment on you, Edward, so please be open and honest with your father and me," Esme said, as she leaned across the table and patted my hand.

She was letting me know that I was loved just like her sons were, that they were there for me no matter what I needed, just like they were for Emmett and Jasper, and this made me calm down a little. I took a deep breath and jumped off the cliff.

"I can't be the one to bring Tia and Ben up. Now before you go off at me and tell me you are disappointed, I need to tell you the reasons." I looked at both of them in the eye.

"This past nine days have opened my eyes to what children really need to feel loved and secure in this world. I have to tell you that I am not that person. I work long hours and can't give them what they need. They hate me, and please don't tell me that it is just them adjusting. I know that they only lost their parents just over a week ago, I get it. I was an ass after Mom and Dad died. It took me awhile to trust you and let you both in to take their place." I softened my look and pleaded with them to understand.

"Tia and Ben need two parents, not a bachelor who loves his job and is set in his ways of working. They have been through enough, and I am not going to fuck up their lives like I did my own. Who is going to love someone that can't be there for them? Who is going to listen to me when I can't even communicate with them? They look at me as if I am stupid, like, like... fuck, like I am a moron. They know I have no idea what I am doing; they know I am winging it. They don't even want to talk to me most of the time. They sit there having their silent conversations, forming plans of how to fuck with Edward next. I have no power or authority over them. When I ask them to clean up their toys, they ignore me. When I ask them to take a bath, they ignore me. Every question, request or demand I make, they ignore me. Every question, request, or demand I make they ignore me. So I have come to the conclusion that they do not want me to look after them!" I sat back on my chair and stared at my adopted mom and dad.

"Son, I know this is going to be hard to start off with, you have only had the kids for a little bit. Give it a month so you can get into a routine. It is going to take awhile. They are hurting like you did after you lost your parents. They are only three; they do not understand why their mommy and daddy are not coming home, or back to them. We can explain it a hundred different ways, Edward, but they are too young to truly understand! You are going to have to use the same patience you use when you are in surgery," Carlisle pleaded.

"Sweetie, if you were in the middle of surgery with a person's chest open, would you give up if you could not fix it? The answer to that is no. You would use every bit of knowledge you had and fight to come up with and answer–even if you stood there for hours on end. So why are you giving up so easily now?" Esme asked.

"Like I told you, I am not the right person to look after them. I am giving them up but only to family. I will still be there for the important things. I am going to see if Alice or Rose wants to be their guardians. My life at the moment does not allow me to look after them. I have no time for even me at the moment. All I want to do is work and drown my sorrows," I said as I put my head on the table.

There was silence, no one spoke. Carlisle and Esme were exchanging looks at I lifted my head.

"For heaven's sake, you are doing it, too! Talking without actually talking! This is what I'm talking about; this is what the twins do. If you have something to say, say it. That's why I'm here. I am here to tell you what I'm thinking. I expected you to do the same."

"Edward, calm down," Carlisle said. "We are worried about you; that's all. Maybe you should go and see someone to help you through the anger you are holding in. I know that you are angry at the world for not only taking your parents but now your brother and Jane. It has to be tough being the only one left, and as much as Esme and I try and take their place, it is not the same. We understood that from the beginning, and we understand it now. It's time, Edward, to let go of that anger and live your life. Find love. Be happy. You deserve nothing less than to find your other half."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I don't deserve happiness!"

"Why, Edward? Why do you believe you don't deserve everything your heart desires?" I could see the tears forming in Esme's eyes as she asked me this question.

"Why? I don't know why, I have been asking myself why for the last, I don't know, how many years! Why did I lose my parents? Why did they have to leave us behind? Why, why, why... that is all I fucking ask myself. I am tired of the whys when there are no answers! I am tired, Mom, of trying to fight through the guilt, and now I have more. Why did he have to take Alec and Jane? I would gladly take their place. I have no one and they had Ben and Tia." By this stage, I could not stop the tears streaming down my face. "If only I would have been a better brother or son, they would all still be here. If only I was a better person in general, they would all still be alive. If only..." I had run out of steam, I could not form another sentence or irrational thought. I was done and dusted; it should have been me instead of them, and that was the bottom line.

"Oh Edward!" I felt Esme's arms wrap around me as if trying to hold me together. I had been holding this in since Alec and Jane had died, and it was time to get it out. This would not change my mind in any way. I was adamant that Ben and Tia were better off with someone else. But I would take the comfort I was getting now.

"Hush, Edward. It is going to be okay. We'll figure this entire situation out. Hush now ... come on, you need to calm down ... that's it, take deep breaths ... slow your breathing," Esme cooed into my ear.

"I am sorry; I shouldn't have lost it like that."

"It is understandable, son. We all have our moments. I can honestly say that I was the same last week, and I am sure that Mom breaks down every now and then, don't you, dear?" The love in Carlisle's eyes was shining through Esme's. "We understand totally. Now back to the subject at hand. Are you one hundred percent sure of this, Edward? You really want to give those two beautiful children up to your cousins?"

"I am and am not sure, if that make sense. If I had a partner or I was married, then I would not have a problem, but I am alone, and they need more than I can give them. I can't be both parents. I have tried this past week and a half, and I have failed. What else can I do?"

"Okay, well then, the only thing left to do is talk to Emmett, Jasper, Rose and Alice. See which one will be willing to take them in." Esme said.

I watched both Mom and Dad nod as they looked at each other.

"I will go and get Ben and Tia, and we can talk about this tomorrow night at dinner when everyone is here," I said.

I got up and stretched. We had been sitting there for a few hours, and I was stiff. I hugged both of them and went to the door.

"Thank you for listening to me; I hope this all works out for the best."

Esme came and kissed my cheek again, "So do we dear."

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

**Carlisle POV**

I walked back to my office after Edward had left. I couldn't believe that he had given up so easily. I understood that he was hurting, but there was no way any of us were going to let him give up those children without realizing what he was actually trying to give up.

Jasper had come to me after the reading of the wills and expressed his and Alice's worries. I knew that it was valid at the time and watching Edward with Ben and Tia though the week, I thought he would be wrong. I guess that they knew more than I did. I really thought that Edward would stand up and take his place as a man and father. But I see that he is still a child when things don't go his way.

Esme and I had talked about this. If this situation ever arose, we had a contingency plan. It was now time to call everyone over for an emergency meeting, and hopefully, everyone will stand his or her ground against Edward. Better make the calls and get everyone over here.

An hour later, everyone showed up, and we had the kids settled in the movie room. We were now all sitting in the lounge room with coffee; everyone's demeanor was different. Esme looked like she was in mother mode, Rosalie looked disappointed, Alice looked worried, Jasper looked sad and Emmett looked like he was about ready to go and rip Edward's head off, he was beyond angry.

"Firstly, thank you for coming on such short notice and for allowing me to disrupt your night. We all know why we are here; Edward came to your mom and me, telling us that he wants to give up his guardianship of Ben and Tia. He wants both of the kids to stay in the family and is looking at asking one of you two. We asked him why and the answers ranged from him being a mom and dad, the kids did not like him, he was not good enough to be there for them, and the list went on." There were notable gasps from Rose and Alice.

"Are you serious, he thinks he is not good for them, why would he think this?" Alice asked me.

I explained everything Edward had told me, that he was questioning himself to the point that he had talked himself out of ever being the man that anyone would love. By the time I had finished, all the ladies had tears running down their faces, and Jasper and Emmett looked like they were not far off.

"I don't want to sound like an ass, Mom and Dad, but Edward really needs to start learning his self-worth. For heaven's sake, he is given offers for better jobs every day. He has the ladies throwing themselves at him, even though some of them are not what you call mother material, I am sure one of them would be able to make an honest man out of him. If he would just opened his heart and try a true relationship," Emmett stated.

"I understand this, Emmett, but I have a feeling he's closed himself off to ever being hurt again, the way he did after his parents died. He had no one when they passed. Alec had just met Jane so she was able to help him through it. You all had each other. If you think about it, Edward really had no one. I see why he did it as well; he never wants to feel that pain again, and now with what has happened to Alec and Jane–I have a bad feeling that he will even close himself off to us, if we let him," Carlisle stated.

Everyone nodded in agreement with me. I am sure that they could see this coming.

"My plan is that all you agree not to take the kids. We all have to stand strong on this! I believe that if we force him to really think about what he has to do, he will do it. I doubt he will try and find someone outside the family to take the kids. If he does, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. What are your thoughts?" I asked, because I was curious what everyone had to say.

Rose was the first to speak. "I really do hope that we are going to do the right thing here. I think Edward will act like a caged lion with its back up against the wall. I know he is going to be angry and pissed at us all, but I am sure if we all help him get through this, he will love those children like his own."

"I agree with my Rosie, but I think I'm going to say that he will look outside the family to find someone. He is lost and struggling, and he will do anything to get himself out of this position. I also feel there is more behind this that he is not telling us. My gut is telling me that he's not able to look at those two kids without seeing his whole family. One he doesn't have anymore, and that kills him more than having to look after them."

I had never thought of what Emmett had just said. He would see his brother and father everyday he looked at Ben, his face was a splitting image of them. This would be killing him on a whole other level that I am sure he had not even realized it himself.

"Jasper what are your thoughts?" I asked.

"I'm going to go out the box here. I agree with Emmett, but I also feel that he will without hesitation find someone to adopt or foster those kids. I also have a feeling that he will end up finding true love from this. I told Alice the day Edward left here with the kids that this is all happened for a reason. Edward is supposed to take this road, and we are only going along for the ride with him. We have to understand we can't manipulate this too much. This is Edward's path, and we have to watch him take it and realize that there is happiness for him at the end. It happened to all of us, now it is Edward's turn to find his path. We have to make sure that he is opened to it."

"Very philosophical of you there, professor," Emmett said laughing.

"Emmett, we listened to your opinion, and now you will do the same with Jasper's. What he said is true. We all had to find our road and walk down it; Edward is still trying to find the right one... it is taking him a little longer than the rest of us," Esme said.

"I just don't want the children to suffer in all of this madness of Edward's, I understand where all of you are coming from, but I'm not sure I can sit aside and watch Edward hurt these children any more than they are already hurting. That is just selfish on our behalf, when it would just be easier to take them in."

"Alice honey, we can't do that. Edward has to grow up and take responsibility for this. He has to look after Tia and Ben. They are HIS responsibility; you don't think I know that we would do a better job at raising them? You don't think I know that Emmett and Rosalie would be better as well? But we can't. Edward needs to finish something more than just his studies and finding the perfect job. He has been dead for too long, and he needs to wake up and live again. These kids will do that for him. He will realize that he loves them and is able to allow them into his heart. He needs to break the walls down, darling, and I hate to say it, but Ben and Tia will do that, as long as we all stick to our guns." Jasper said as he looked into Alice's eyes and pleaded with her to understand.

"I don't like this, Jasper Cullen, but I will stand by my family. So help me God – if he ruins those kids, I will hold you responsible."

"I will let you kick my ass from here all the way to Mexico and back again, baby." Jasper pulled Alice into a strong hug.

"So we are all on the same page then. We'll try to get Edward to realize that he needs to keep the kids, and if that fails, we come up with a contingency plan."

I looked around the room, and everyone nodded. I was glad that we had this discussion without Edward. What the rest of the family didn't know was that I was already working on the 'contingency plan.' I really hope I don't have to use it.

**Authors Notes:**

Well there you go, a little more into the mind of Edward Cullen and his family. I am sorry this is a little late. I would like to apologise to you all for this lateness. I know that real life enters our lives but I have to say that when it involves a family member and getting them help… well lets just say, when you are the only one that can deal with him and the rest of your family are either out of the country or don't want to deal with it, it can be very tiring.

I thought I had him, but let just say it took a little longer than I thought. But yesterday, I was happy that he took the help he needed and I can breath a sigh of relief. So I thank you for your patients.

I hope you like this chapter. Let me know what you think, next chapter in two and a half weeks.

Fiorella


	8. Caution is the confidential

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Laura (Momma Laura) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 7**

**Caution is the confidential agent of selfishness. **

**June 2010**

**BPOV**

I am back in the waiting room for my appointment to see Dr. Cullen. Today is the day that my life will change forever. Today I find out if Dr. Cullen will agree to help me start my family.

Once I found out that my family and friends were behind me and would help with anything they could, I called Dr. Cullen's office and made an appointment to see if we could start as soon as possible.

Now I am sitting here once again nervous as hell, and if I don't keep my leg still soon, I will shake it right off.

"Miss Swan, Dr. Cullen is ready for you. Follow me," Rebecca said.

I walked behind her down the corridor again and into Dr. Cullen's office. Rebecca closed the door and left me. I made my way over to the wall of children again; all my hopes and dreams now rested in the hands of this doctor. Yes, I could find another doctor if he turned me away, but I was hoping that this would not happen.

I heard a knock on the door, and Dr. Cullen entered.

"Isabella, take a seat and let's get started."

"Dr. Cullen, please call me Bella, I really prefer it."

"Bella, please come and take a seat here on the couch with me. Let's talk about everything that has happened since I last saw you."

I sat next to Dr. Cullen on the leather sofa and faced him.

"After I left here, I thought things over, and I talked to my family again. If you think I am a willing candidate, I would like to start IVF straight away."

"Bella, I am willing to be your doctor, but I would like to do up some blood work, check your fertility, and run some other tests. I have a feeling that we might not have to go to the extent of IVF. I was thinking that we could map your ovulation for the next month and then you can go though our donors and see which one you would like, and then artificially inseminate you. The process for artificial insemination is that I place the sperm into your vagina or uterus close to the mouth of the fallopian tubes; I do this to allow the best circumstances for the sperm to combine with the released egg.

I will also prescribe fertility drugs for you before we undergo the insemination. You need to start taking these drugs at the beginning of your next menstrual cycle in order to stimulate your ovaries to grow several eggs for the fertilization.

This process of the insemination will take about an hour. You will definitely need to take the fertility drugs for about a week before ovulation. The reason I'm telling you this is because you will want to start right away. Now Bella, you have to be aware that it could take up to three cycles before you become pregnant. I have, however, been lucky in some cases where it happens on the first try. If it is still not working after six months, then we'll move onto other avenues. How are you feeling so far?"

"I am excited, Dr. Cullen. I can't wait to start trying. I do have some questions for you, just like I did about the IVF."

"Please go ahead and ask them. I'm here to answer them for you."

"Why are you leaning towards artificial insemination instead of IVF?"

"Bella, we know that you are a healthy young lady with no prior history of endometritis, infertility, or other problems. Instead of putting your body though an invasive procedure, I'd rather try a non-invasive way first. The retrieving eggs and implementation of them again is not easy on your body. As I said, if the non-invasive way doesn't work in the first six months, we will go straight to IVF. Once we run the tests that are needed for either procedure, they will tell us which way to go. If I notice there'll be problems by doing AI, then I will recommend IVF right away. What is your next question?" He smiled at me.

"Dr. Cullen what are the risks for AI?"

"There are few side effects for AI. As I said, this less invasive than IVF and other assisted reproductive technologies. This procedure will allow fertilization to happen naturally in your own body. As is true in all procedures, there are risks, but they are relatively safe. Some infections can occur; one is due to intrauterine insemination. This is where we wash the sperm for any bacteria and other harmful substances, it will then cause an infection in the uterus. It can result in endometriosis, but please be aware that this is a rare occurrence.

The fertility drugs can cause unpleasant side effects, as you would know from the research you did for IVF. Since you're aware of the possibilities, you'll be alert for the signs of depression, restlessness, headaches, hot-flashes, and irritability. Also remember that these drugs can cause ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome and can lead to you having abdominal pain, swelling of the ovaries, ovarian cysts and production of numerous eggs at one time. If this happens, it can lead to multiple pregnancies while doing AI. As long as you are aware of this and are happy to proceed, we will start with blood work, charting, and mapping your ovulation cycle today."

I was giddy like a school girl; I could not wait to start.

"I would love to start today. I have been charting my cycle, and I have it with me. I have only been doing it by temperature and saliva. I've been using a site called 'Maybe Baby,' and they gave me all the information I needed. I thought it would give me a bit of a head start and help you out."

"I have to say, Bella; you are very eager person. I'm glad you know what you want. I will go over these results. I'll get Rebecca to come and take you for some blood work, and then we can sit down and go through the donors with you. I'll also write up a prescription for the fertility drugs and get you started on those. How does all of that sound?"

"Wonderful, Dr. Cullen. I am so excited I can't wait another moment! I really can't believe that it's going to move so fast."

"You've done half of my job for me, Bella!" Dr. Cullen said as he got up and walked over to his phone and buzzed for Rebecca.

A few moments later, there was a light knock on the door, and I was off to get the blood work done. She also did all the mundane things; she weighed me, took my blood pressure, and asked questions about anything and everything. I was reeling in the excitement of it all. Twenty minutes later, I was back in Dr. Cullen's office sitting on the leather couch next to Dr. Cullen.

"Bella, I have charted what you've provided me, and if we start the fertility drugs now and make an appointment for the twenty-first of next month, we can be on our way to getting you your family. All we need to do now is have a look at some possible candidates for fathers. I have another appointment right now, but I will take you to Bree. She'll take you through the process of picking out a donor."

"Excellent, Dr. Cullen, I know just the kind of guy I want."

"No problems. I'll introduce you to Bree."

"Yes, please," I said excitedly

"Then follow me, and we'll have this done in no time."

I got up and followed Dr. Cullen out of his office across the hall to a smaller office with a young lady sitting behind a computer.

"Bree, this is Isabella Swan. She would like to have a look at our donors for AI. Bella, this is Bree. Have fun, ladies."

"Isabella it is nice to meet you. Take a seat, and we'll get started." Bree motioned to a chair in front of her desk.

"Please call me Bella. I can't believe this is happening," I squealed. I can't believe I squealed.

"Bella, what I am going to do now is ask you a list of questions and put your answers into my database. When we're finished, we'll have a list of potential candidates. From there, you can pick and choose. Let's start," Bree said.

Soon Bree was firing questions at me, things like if I wanted the child to know the donor after they turned eighteen. Then of course, standard questions such as: hair and eye color, height, weight, blood type, education, degree, religious beliefs, and ancestry. Then of preference of availability, to make sure my donor had ICI, IUI or IVF vials ready available.

I was glad that most of the candidates they had on file had up to three generation worth of history, both genetic and medical. Some were more informal than others. Some went into great detail about where their parents and grandparents went to school or education level. Bree assured me it would give me what I needed. Bree also informed me that they had some files with baby photos, so I could get an idea what my child might look like. None of the photos were of children older than six years old. I was fine with that; I could live with or without that information. With the ultrasounds today, I could get 3-D imaging and know exactly what my baby looked like.

Bree told me that they had personality tests attached to the files, so I could pick someone that was close to me - or the complete opposite if I wanted. It also gives me an insight into what my child's temperament could be some day. They also had reports written by employees and employers on what their impression of the donor, just general observations and opinions. Donor also had to answer essay questions about themselves. Just general questions like: favorite colors, foods, sports, and music. They also had to answer questions about their goals in life and work. These things would all give me insight into what sort of an achiever this person was. What type of personality they had, also. The last questions that Bree asked me were more about facial features of my donor. What shape face, skin color, skin tone and many other details were covered.

By the time we were finished, it had felt like I had covered everything; I didn't have one question left for Bree to answer.

Bree printed out a list of numbers that corresponded to the donor's case file. There were six guys on the list. Two were doctors, one was an architect, one managed his own company, and the last two were professors at different universities. Bree pulled the case files, and she took me into the viewing room, which was just a big room with comfortable couches where you could sit and take your time looking though the files.

"Bella, I am going to leave you here. Take your time and look though each one. There is coffee and tea on the counter and soft drinks in the fridge. If you get hungry, you'll also find some snack in the fridge. If you have any questions at the end or did not find the donor you are looking for, then we can start the search again and just tweak it a bit. I have saved your answers into the database so it will be easy to change things."

"Thank you, Bree, but I am sure that I will find someone here. They all look like good donors."

Bree left the room and left me to my reading.

Two hours later, I was in donor overload and wished I could take the files home and study some more, but none of the information was going to change. I knew what I was looking for, and I had two candidates left. I knew both of them would be perfect. I went for the architect and one of the doctors; they both work here in New York and were both highly educated. The only difference was one was blond and the other was dark black. They were both very similar in age, height, and looks. They both had catholic backgrounds and were able to give me three generations' worth of medical and educational history. They both came from poor families to begin with and then their parents gave their children a better life through perseverance and hard work.

It reminded me of my childhood, and that is the reason I have chosen both of them. Now all that was left was to choose between blond haired donor #857496254, and dark haired donor #855962149.

In the end, the decision was getting to me - so I went the childish way and did eenie-meenie-miney-mo. The last one I touched was the donor. I was happy either way, but I thought it was a good choice. Off to tell Bree and Dr. Cullen of my choice.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

**Early July 2010**

I was back in Dr. Cullen's office getting more blood work done up; I had to come in once a week to make sure everything was on track. They were checking my hormone levels, weight, and if I had noticed any side effects from the drugs I was taking. Apart from a little bit of abdominal pain and a hot-flash here and there this week, everything had been running on track. Dr. Cullen was not worried and said that he would keep everything charted, and if it got worse, he would try a different hormone treatment.

Dr. Cullen wanted me to see him in his office before I left to talk about what was going to happen in two weeks. I was looking forward to it.

So there I was waiting again in his office for him to finish up with the previous client.

There was a light knock on the door to let me know he was entering, I was already sitting on the leather couch reading one of the many books he had in his office.

"Bella, it is good to see you again. I see you have made yourself at home by reading from my personal library again, which book is it this week?"

"Dr. Cullen, it is good to see you again as well. This week I decided to go for Mymensingh Medical Journal, Vol. 19, No 4. I think I understand every tenth word in the book if I am lucky," I giggled and put the book down on the table.

"Yes, well unless you are really into what I do for a living, it's really not an interesting read, Bella," Carlisle chuckled with me. "Take a seat, and let's go through your test results."

We sat side by side on the couch, and Dr. Cullen opened my chart folder.

"Everything seems to be progressing well. I see you're still having abdominal pain. Is it more or less than last week?"

"Actually, it's less than last week. The hot-flashes are what have picked up this week, but then again, it is the beginning of July. I'm sure the heat wave we are having is probably playing as much havoc on my body as the drugs," I informed Dr. Cullen.

"I'd say that could be the cause of it, but I'm sure it is also the drugs doing their job in helping to produce extra eggs. That is definitely the cause of for the abdominal pain. I'd like you to call me if the pain gets to be much, as well at the hot-flashes."

Dr. Cullen handed me his business card. "On the back is my direct line and pager number if you need it."

"Thank you, I'll only call if it gets too much. Is there anything else I need to know?" I asked.

"Bella I would like to talk to you about adoption, also, if you have a minute."

I had nowhere to go, but I thought this would be strange because I had agreed to go along with the AI. "Sure, Dr. Cullen."

"Bella I'd like you to start calling me Carlisle, if that is okay with you."

"Okay, Carlisle. What would you like to discuss about adoption?"

"In my line of work, I come across many different families and people. I am going to give you a quick rundown on a gentleman that I have come across recently. He's lost his whole family. His parents died a while ago, and just last month, he lost his brother and sister-in-law to an accident. Now I don't want to go into too much detail, but he's a very successful man and does not have a lot of time–even for himself. When his brother passed away, he was left in charge as guardian of his brothers three year-old twins. Over the past three weeks, he has been trying to do his best in looking after them, but it does not seem to be working. He's now decided to adopt the children out. I personally feel he is doing it for all the wrong reasons, and my family and I have tried everything to get him to keep them–but he is set in his ways.

He is now looking for a family or a person that would like their own family and would adopt the twins. I feel that you are a wonderful candidate for the twins–you have so much love and compassion. Honestly, you were the first person on my list when he came to me. I understand you want to do AI, and we can still proceed to do this, but I was hoping you might like to meet the twins and see if you would also like think about adopting them as well.

The twins are a girl named Tia and a boy named Benjamin. As I mentioned, they are three, and they are both very talented children. If you decided to adopt the children, as I feel you might once you meet them, they are set up for life. They have trust funds, college funds, you name it, they have it organized by their parents. So financially, you would never have to worry.

What I am asking you is firstly, would it be something you are interested in, secondly, would you like time to think about it, and thirdly, would you like to meet them?"

I was blown over with what Carlisle had told me. How could someone what to give up their brother's children, and how could you put your life before theirs.

"Carlisle, I would like a couple of days to think about it. Can you give me until Wednesday?"

"Bella, take all the time in the world. This is a big decision that I've put in your lap. But I can really see the twins with someone like you," said Carlisle.

"Once I have made my decision and if I choose to take the twins on...at this stage I'm not going to promise anything...I'd love to meet them and see if we are compatible. I would also like to meet the man that doesn't want to look after his brother's kids. I'd love to give him a piece of my mind, but I'll hold my tongue!" I said heatedly.

"Trust me; I'm sure it's not any less than what my family has dished out."

"May I ask another questions, Carlisle?"

"Sure, Bella, I would answer anything."

"Why doesn't your family take the children?"

"Well, both of my sons have two children already, and I know this is going to sound harsh, but we all made a pact not to take them in. We wanted the gentleman involved to realize what he would be missing if we did. But it seems it has backfired because he knows what we were trying to do and hates us even more. He is my nephew. Bella, and before you judge him too hard, just know–when his parents died, everyone around him had their partners, their soul mates with them to help them though. He did not. We tried to help him, but in the end, we watched him close himself off to any kind of love. Even now at thirty-three years of age, he still has himself closed off. I have a feeling losing his brother was the end of him. I feel that from this point on, it's going to take a miracle to get him to even love us. Giving the children up is his way of pulling away from all of us. We are happily married with children and wonderful fulfilling lives; all he has is his work and his piano. Even those are not helping him get though the pain of losing his brother. So please keep that in mind when you meet him and the kids; he is a lost soul–at the moment."

I could not believe how honest Carlisle was being; he didn't have to tell me this, and I had a lot of thinking to do. My first thought was to leave here and go and stay with my parents for the night. I needed to get their opinion of this. Could I take on the twins and also a newborn all in the space of a year?

"Carlisle, thank you for being honest with me, and I promise to call you on Wednesday. I have your numbers; I will use your cell, if that is okay with you. Also, even if I decided to take the twins, I will also be sticking with AI for now… so unless I tell you otherwise, I'll see you next week for our schedule appointment."

"Thank you, Bella, I'm looking forward to hearing from you on Wednesday."

I rose from my seat and gave Carlisle a hug; it looked like he really needed it. "See you then, Carlisle," I said just before I let go and started for the door.

As I walked back to my car, I realized I had a lot of thinking to do. I thought the first thing to do was let my mother know I was coming and spending the night. Then I would tackle everything after that.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

"Mom, I am here. I stopped at the store and picked up dinner!" I yelled as I walked into the house.

"No need to shout. I am right here."

"Sorry! How are you, how is your day going?"

"It was busy. I helped your father on his boat, and of course, Christian just left from his tutoring session. How did today go with Dr. Cullen?"

"That's why I'm staying here tonight. I need to talk to you and dad about something, and I thought I'd cook dinner, and we could talk then. Is that okay with you?"

"Sure, sweetie. I have a few things to do in the laundry room, and then I will make your bed while you start dinner."

I headed off the kitchen after I gave mom a kiss and hug. I pulled out the pan I needed and got to work.

An hour later, we were sitting around the table, and I was a little nervous. I had spent the whole time I was cooking trying to figure out how to tell my parents what Carlisle had told me. I wasn't sure how they were going to take it, but I had come up with a plan of my own to help Carlisle out. I had to help make his nephew realize just how precious those two children really were.

"So how did it go today?" my father asked me.

"It went really well. Everything is progressing the way Dr. Cullen wanted, and he isn't too worried about the pain or the hot-flashes, but he wants me to keep an eye on it. If it gets worse, he wants me to come in right away or to call. But he did ask me, or I should say, tell me, about two children that need to be adopted." I let it hang in the air as I watched my parents' faces for any clues of what they were thinking about my last statement.

"Okay, what do you mean about two children that need to be adopted?" my father asked.

"He told me about a young man who has lost his whole family. His parents passed away a while ago and not more than a month ago, his lost his brother and sister-in-law. However, they left two children in his care. From what I can gather, he is closed off and wants nothing to do with the kids. This I find hard to understand, but Dr. Cullen was telling me that he is thinking of adopting the two children out. He lives for his job, and this is the way he is coping with his brother and sister-in-law's deaths, and the children–so it would seem–are not coping either.

I'm not sure if I'd be able to take on three-year-old twins as well as newborn, but I have come up with a plan that I would like to discuss with you both. I want to help Dr. Cullen's nephew realize that these kids are worth fighting for. I feel that once he realizes how wonderful these twins are–that he can do it. That he can look after them! I have a feeling that the twins are not taking to Dr. Cullen's nephew because he has closed himself off. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it, but I know I can help him to open up and accept these children. I want to make him realize that what he has been given is a true gift.

On another note and getting away from the adoption, I also picked a donor today as well. Would you like me to tell you about him?"

I don't think I took a breath through my whole rant. I wanted to get it out there and fast. I could see my father's brain ticking over my words, and my mother was off in her own little world.

"Bella, let's take a step back. I know you're excited about telling us about the donor, but let's take one step at a time, sweetheart," my father said. "I understand you want to help Dr. Cullen's nephew, but won't it put stress on your body that's not needed?"

"I haven't put a lot of thought into it yet, Dad, but I know I can help him. I don't think there will be that much stress from this. I think all he needs is someone to help out–someone to show him some direction. Make him see that he can work and have his own family, also. There are a lot of highly professional single dads out there that look after children every day. I understand that he is hurting after the loss of his family and so alone like this, but he needs to build a good support system and pick himself back up. Those children need him, and he needs to realize that he needs them, too."

"Bella, sweetie, you should have been a therapist not a writer," my mother said. "I knew you were an old soul, and I know you are a giving person, Bella, but you have also had to deal with a lot in the last few months. You're only getting back on your own two feet; do you really think this is a good idea?"

"This is the reason I should help him. What I went through with Felix damaged me for any other guy that comes along. Maybe what I learned in therapy can also help him, even if it's only for him to open up and get some help of his own." I knew my mother only meant well. "Really, Mom. What would you do if it was you? I know you, Mom! You would be there in a second seeing what you could do to help. Newborn, pregnant or going through what I am, you would do what you could to help someone realize their potential. You do it every day with those children that come in here for tutoring. Dad you do it every second weekend when you take the kids from the rec center fishing or to a baseball game or teach them football, basketball or baseball. This is the same. I need to do this. I don't understand why, but something is telling me that I need to help. Does that make sense?"

I watch my parents look at each other as they let out a breath.

My father is the first to speak up. "I will be there every step of the way to help. You're right. If this was your mother, she would be there faster than Flash Gordon." My father laughed at his own joke.

Now I was going to have that stupid theme song by Queen in my head for the rest of the evening. _'__Flash a-ah, Savior of the Universe, Flash, He save every one of us, Flash.' _Dam you Queen!

"I agree with your father, Bella, I will support any decision you make. We both will be there to help with your AI as well as help you with whatever you choose to do. If you want to adopt those children or make that young gentleman realize his potential–I'll be there. I just hope it's not too much for you, but if you feel you can do it, I will be there for you. That's all that matters to me."

"Thanks, Mom and Dad."

"Now, tell us about this donor you chose?" Mom asked excitedly.

"I narrowed it down to two choices, and in the end, I did a bit of a childish thing. I played eenie-meenie-miney-mo. Both candidates were what I was after. The only differences were hair color. I wasn't very particular about that, and the game seemed to be the only option out." My father was laughing when I told them this. "I know it was childish, Dad," I said as I laughed along with him.

"The gentleman I went with was the blond haired donor. He is an architect, catholic–which are our beliefs, he is 6"3' and is of muscular slim build. The list of sports he played at the private school he attended were baseball, football, and swimming. He still partakes and enjoys all three now. His grandparents came from Ireland and started off with nothing, and as the generations came along, they worked hard to send their kids to private schools and universities–just like the both of you. I thought this was vital. He has won some awards for his work. The only medical history of any kind was diabetes which came from old age, but apart from that, they are pretty healthy. He had baby photos attached, and he was a very cute baby, very blond and curly hair. He had stellar reports from co-workers and employers, all saying that he was funny and quiet at the same time. He's a hard worker and likes to take on challenges. He knows when to have fun and when to be serious in the workplace as well. Always on time and ready to go the extra mile to help anyone that needs it. So all in all, I think it is a win-win. He doesn't want to know when the child turns eighteen either, and that's a big thing for me. What do you both think?"

"By the sounds of it, you could not have picked a better candidate. He sounds like he is very well put together young man and an excellent choice for your baby's father. When do you next go and see Dr. Cullen?"

"I have an appointment next week–same time and day–but I told him I would call him about the twins around Wednesday. I needed to speak to you and think about what I really wanted to do. Now that I know what I am thinking of doing, I will call him tomorrow and let him know that I want to meet them. After hearing Dr. Cullen describe the, I think they are just frightened three year-olds."

"I am sure they are, Bella, and I think it's wonderful what you are going to do. Have you thought about what would happen if your plan doesn't work? What happens if he still wants to give the children up?" my father asked.

"I'm hoping I'll have some time on my hands to think more about it. I'm sure that it won't come to that, well, I'm hoping, anyway."

"Let's hope for his sake he learns to open his heart and realize what is in front of him," my mother commented.

I really hope he does realize what he has; there are so many people out there that want children and to give up on two that were your brother's seems like he would be dishonoring his bother.

I helped Mom clean the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher. Once everything was done, I decided I wanted to spend some more time just hanging with my parents. I made myself a cup of tea and walked into their living room. Dad had the baseball game going, and Mom was sitting in her chair knitting. This was just what the doctor ordered, mind numbing TV.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

Monday morning had arrived too soon; I enjoyed my weekend break at my parent's house. It was nice and relaxing and just what I needed. I was able to sit and really think about how I could help the twins for Carlisle.

Today I was having lunch with Char and Kate, to let them know how my appointment went–and what else had happened to me at the appointment. I needed to make sure my girlfriends were still behind me once I told them what I was taking on. I knew they would be, but I needed the reassurance from them.

I was running late for lunch which I hate doing. I called the restaurant to let them know and texted my friends, too, just in case they were also running late. By the time I got there, I was fifteen minutes late! I left my car with the valet and went inside; both my friends were at the table. I couldn't be bothered waiting for the Maître de–I just walked straight over to the table, sat down in one of the spare chairs, and apologized profusely to my friends.

We caught up on what we did for the weekend and ordered our meals and drinks. After the drinks and the entrees had arrived, been eaten, and taken away, and we had caught up on their weekends, Kate started firing off questions.

"Bella, you've heard all about our weekends. I'm anxious to know how your appointment went with Dr. Cullen. What happened? When are you getting started? What are you actually doing? When will I be an Auntie?"

Char and I were laughing at her when she realized she needed to take a breath.

"Kate, I feel you're more excited about this than I am!" I went on to tell them everything that had happened with my appointment with Dr. Cullen, and when I finished, they were staring at me stunned.

"Bella, are you sure you can take all this on with the schedule you have at the moment?"

"Actually I can. My children's book is nearly finished and ready to be sent off and edited. The other book I finished two weeks ago, and it is already with Senna. Once she is done with them, she will send back for the final draft which you know won't take me long. Then it's in the hands of Zafrina. I know that the books are ahead of time. They will hit the stores until May next year–by the time the publishers get their work done. I've even started on the next books for the year after. I thought if I at least started them and was a little ahead, it would give me time in case real life got on top of me."

"Wow, Bella. I can't believe how organized you are and how prepared you are for what's going to happen. You've got to be the most organized person I know, and I am a mother," Char complemented me.

"Bella, are you sure you really want to take on these two twins? Aren't you worried about it overwhelming you?"

"No, Kate. I feel this is the path I should be taking. If I can help this gentleman realize what he's missing out on–with not having his brother's family in his life, then it'll be worth it. I can't imagine what he's going through, but from what Dr. Cullen tells me about him, he's lost a lot and closed off his heart to his whole family. All he seems to be doing is working and not a lot of living. He lost both of his parents and now his brother and sister-in-law in accidents. I am sure that would crush all of us as well, and I'm amazed he's still able to get out of bed to go to work. I know if it was me, and I had lost my parents and then a brother and sister in law, I would be an emotional wreck. I probably would push all of you away as well thinking I didn't deserve happiness. He just needs to see that he's worthy of happiness." I declared.

"I agree with what you are saying, Bella, but please make sure your health is put first when you're doing this. Promise me that you wont stress or put yourself in harm's way whenever possible," Kate said.

I understood where she was coming from, and I was lucky that I had the family around that was willing to help where needed. I knew this gentleman did as well; he just chose not to acknowledge the fact that he did. I had no idea what was going on in his head or how he was processing what had happened to him, but I was sure that I could help out.

We talked longer over every aspect of what I was going to do to help, and then the conversation changed; we started talking about what we were going to do on the upcoming weekend. We'd decided that everyone would come over and have a barbeque at my house, since the weather was starting to warm. We were also making plans for the school vacations and where we would go for them. We all had different ideas of where we wanted to go this year.

As lunch was rounding up, I told the girls I would call them tomorrow after I had spoken to Dr. Cullen and let them know when I was meeting the twins. We kissed and hugged goodbye and I drove home thinking over what I was going to say to Dr. Cullen.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

Tuesday started with phone calls from Senna telling me how much she love the two new books and how she could not believe how fast I had gotten them to her. I told her that I had already started the ones that follow these two. I told her that I was going to be taking some time off after these ones were written. She wanted to know why, and I told her that I was going through AI and would need a break for when the baby came.

She wanted to know when I was due, and I told her I was still in the process of starting and I would inform her once I was actually pregnant. Senna was excited I was starting my family and was glad that I was able to put the past behind me.

We talked for two hours going over the edits for the books. I asked her to email me what she wanted fixed, and I would get it back to her by the end of the week, if not next. I knew that I still had two months up my sleeve but I really wanted them to be finished before I started hormone treatment. I didn't need the stress of editing and revising hanging over my head.

Once I finished with Senna, I decided it was as good as time as any to call Dr. Cullen. This way, I'd be able to get on with the new books and not be interrupted.

I went to my office, pulled out his card, and called his cell.

It only rang twice before he answered.

"Dr. Cullen speaking"

"Good Morning, Carlisle. It's Bella."

"Hello, Bella. How has your morning been?"

"Very busy already. I am calling to see if it would be possible to meet with your nephew and the twins this week?"

"Off course, Bella. Let me talk with Edward, and I'll set up a time. Is there any day that you can't meet with them?"

"Apart from the appointment with you on Friday, I am free all week. If he can't do during the workweek, I'm available on Saturday. Sunday is out for me; I have a family function I'm hosting."

"How about we make a time and place now, and if it's not okay, I'll call back with an alternative. How does that sound?"

"Perfect, Carlisle. How about we plan for Saturday? We can have a picnic lunch in Central Park. We can meet at 11:00 a.m., and then after we eat, we can take the twins to the zoo. I'll bring the food, and I would love for you and your wife to be there."

"Bella, that sounds perfect! I'll see you on Friday; if it needs to be done earlier, I'll call you and let you know."

"Have a lovely week, Carlisle; I'll see you on Friday."

"See you then, Bella."

I said good-bye and hung up. I thought about what to cook for the picnic and made a list of what to get at the grocery store later in the day. I jumped on the Internet to see what attractions were at the zoo. There were lists of what animals they had there and what the feeding schedule was for them. I printed them out just to give us some ideas of what was available. I didn't want to plan too much, just in case the twins weren't comfortable with some of the animals.

I went down stairs made myself a sandwich for lunch, got a glass of lemonade, cleaned up, and then ventured back to my study to eat lunch and keep going with my novel. I couldn't believe I had only been working on it a month and was nearly halfway through already. I knew once I had finished this story, I'd start on the new children's fairy tale. I had it all mapped out, and I knew it would write itself just like this novel was.

I was excited to have them finished. I knew once the baby came, I wouldn't have as much time to devote to these stories, and it was nice to know that they would be finished. It would give me time to spend with the baby and even if he or she had a bad night, I knew the next day I could devote my time to them instead of feeling guilty of letting my readers down.

All in all, I was proud of myself for being able to make it through the breakup and now I was proud to be able to move on and allocate time for what I wanted in my life.

Authors Note:

I would like to thank you all for your reviews the last three weeks. I am not sure what has happened or where you gorgeous readers have been talking about my story, but since I last posted the readers, followers, favourite's have quadrupled if not more. Thank you to all of you, that read, recommend, tweet, chat, and blog my story.

I am not sure if any of you are aware that Australia has the Voice going at the moment, we are in our second season, those of you that are Australian, you cant miss it. We have been treated to this young gentleman called Harrison. I have attached the youtube footage for you to check out… let me know if you think he is a young RP. I see it, but I am not sure if I am just seeing it for the sake of it.

There are two clips: (Just take out the spacing)

www. youtube watch?v=dfrWYT_sROI

www. youtube watch?v=EQ9JRlrhZn4

Thank you again everyone.

Fiorella


	9. Children reinvent your world for you

**Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot of the Twilight Saga are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. The storyline of Tangled Hearts is all mine.

**WARNING: This story is M+ rated so if you are not over the age of 18+ please do not read any further.**

I would like to thank both Kasi (_TeamAllTwilight)_ and Laura (Momma Laura) my pre-readers and betas that have graciously offered to help me with my story.

Michele (PeopleLikeUs or JustGinger), I would like to think you for all your encouragement on getting this story off the ground and posted.

Go check out their stories!

**Tangled Hearts – Chapter 8**

**Children reinvent your world for you.**

**June 2010**

**EPOV**

It was Sunday night dinner, and I had to tell the rest of the family what I was going to do. I was not looking forward to it. I knew there would be a lot of shouting and arguing, but I really did think it was what's best for Tia and Ben. They were the only ones I was looking out for and not myself. I knew that some of them would think I was selfish and not stepping up to the plate, but my number one priority was the twins.

Everyone seemed to be at ease as we all sat around the table. Tia was sitting beside me, and Ben was beside her. They seemed to be having a good time, and I wondered how long that would last. I was used to helping them at meal times, and today was no different; I would cut up Tia's meat without realising it and would lean over to do the same to Ben's plate. When I looked back up at the family, they all seemed to be staring at me.

"What?" I was wondering what they were all looking at.

"Oh, nothing dear," Esme said.

I went back to eating, ignoring everyone looking at me.

Everyone around me was in different conversations, and I was all alone. Even Tia and Ben were talking to each other. Jasper and Alice were talking about where they were going to go for the holidays. By the sounds of it, they were either heading to Hawaii or the Canadian Rockies. Emmett and Rose sounded like they had decided to go to Briarcliff Manor, and Emmett was telling her what he had planned for them to do while they were there. Esme was talking to Carlisle about the fundraiser she was helping to plan, and in return, he was asking her when she wanted to visit everyone while they were on holidays.

I was feeling more alone than I usually did. I was going nowhere. I had no plans, I had no one, and it only made it more final why I should not have the twins. I had no one to share anything with. Yes, it was my own fault; I put myself in this position! If I was truly honest with myself, I knew I was waiting for a love like everyone else had sitting around the table. I wanted my soul mate, but like everything else in life, I knew if I found her, she would eventually be taken away from me. So what was the point in looking?

"Ladies, why don't you help me clean up; Jasper and Emmett, could you take the kids upstairs and get them settled in front of a movie?" Esme asked. "Edward, Carlisle, can you please start the coffees, and we can all go to the lounge to visit."

I picked up my plate and the twins' plates and walked into the kitchen to get started on the coffee. I was off in my own world, and I did not hear Carlisle talking to me until I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Edward, are you alright? Can I help with anything?"

"No thank you. I am okay. I was thinking about telling the family what we spoke about yesterday. I know they're going to be angry with me, but I need to be honest with them. I just don't know how to start this conversation."

"Son, everything will work out for the best. You just need to listen to what they have to say, and most of all, don't be angry with them. It's not going to help your cause. You need to be honest; you need to open up to them and let them see the real you. None of us has seen the old Edward for some time now. They all grasped what you have been through, but Edward, I am going to be honest, you need to open up and let us help you. Whether or not Jasper and Emmett agree or not. You have to be prepared for them to say no to taking on the twins. I am sure they will be angry–but allow them to be. Listen to their explanations, and hear what they are saying to you as well. Don't close yourself off by being defensive. It will not help you or them."

I knew Carlisle was right, but I knew Emmett and Jasper, and I knew they would not say no to this, at least I was hoping they would not say no.

I had made everyone's coffee on auto pilot with Esme's Java machine. Alice and Rose had Cappuccinos, Esme loved her Flat White, and we men love a good espresso with a splash of Grappa.

I placed all the coffees onto the serving tray and took them into the formal living room. This was Esme's ritual whenever we came for dinner. It was usually nice to sit with family and talk, but I was not too sure about today's topic of conversation.

Once everyone was seated and the coffees handed out, the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Everyone was looking at everyone else to see who would start the conversation. Well, no time like the present to get the ball rolling. So I cleared my throat and dove in head first.

"Jasper, Em, Ali, and Rose, last night after I dropped the kids off to you, I came here and had a chat with Esme and Carlisle." I was fidgeting with my coffee cup. Why was this so hard to tell them? "I'm going to tell you what I spoke to them about, and I'd like you to listen to what I have to say before you judge me. Once I'm done, I'll listen to what you have to say. I don't want to argue or fight with any of you, but you need to hear me out first. I'll apologize now in case I stumble though this, so I am sorry."

I took a deep breath settled my cup on the tray and wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. I let my breath out slowly and looked straight ahead of me into four pairs of anxious eyes.

"Over the last week, I've been trying my hardest to look after Tia and Ben. I've done everything in my power to get them to talk to me. I've had no luck whatsoever. I haven't been able to get behind the walls they have put up. They don't listen to anything I have to say, they don't want to eat anything I give them, and they have their own secret way of communicating just as you all seem to do. I know that they have lost their parents, hell - I've lost parents and now their parents as well. I understand what they are going though. I thought I could help them, and I knew it was going to be tough, but I never expected to be ignored." I ran my hand though my hair; a pair of three year-olds has defeated me.

"This is the hard part, what I am going to ask and say to you! I... Will... Crap this is so hard, I am sorry." I blew out my breath and tried again. "I am here to ask either of you if you would like to take over guardianship of Tia and Ben. If none of you will do it, I will be forced to put them up for foster care or adoption." I heard both Rose and Alice gasp at what I have just said, and I took a chance and looked at Emmett and Jasper. They both looked like they were going to rip me a new one.

"Before you get angry at me, I'd like to explain why I feel this is best. I cannot be their mother and father. They need a happy and secure home, and I'm not able to give them that. They need a couple to show them love, happiness, and a future that is safe. I am none of those. I am, at the moment, an angry bitter man and am asking why I should be here instead of my brother. What have I done that allows me to be here instead of Alec and Jane? They had a family, and me? I have nothing but my work and the woman I pick up on the occasional weekend. So why do I deserve to be here instead of them? Why am I still here? I would give myself up to have them back here for their children who I don't even know, have not spent enough time with to know apart from the holidays and birthdays. Why..." I knew the tears where running down my face again, but I was not going to stop until I had said everything to convince them to take the kids.

"I have prayed to the man above to help with the decision, and it was a tough one. Every night this week those two kids have woken up with nightmares. It got to the point that I would just put them into my bed instead of the spare room–to see if it would make a difference. The only change is that I did not have to run far. I asked if they wanted to speak to someone, and that started both of them crying and yelling at me. See? I am no good at this, everything I do is wrong. I don't understand why Alec trusted me with their future. I was no good–as a son. I thought I was a good brother, but I seemed to have failed at that, and now I am going to destroy two three-year-olds. I can't have that on my conscience, I won't do it to them, and I sure as hell won't do it to me." I had run out of steam, I had nothing more to say, I am not sure they could understand what I was saying anyway, I was a blubbering idiot, this was not who I was. I am strong, confident person; I have aspirations and goals that I follow and stick to, and I am not this weak depressed person that is sitting here in front of my family.

I tried to pull myself together and face my family. I wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and straighten my back. I looked around the room, and I noticed everyone was doing the same, pulling themselves together.

Emmett was the first person to speak.

"I am sure we do not understand fully what you are going through, Edward, but I personally feel you need to start speaking to someone. You need to get all the hurt, anger and self-loathing out. You are worthy of love! You are worthy of happiness, and you damn well are worthy of living out your dreams. It is time for you to start letting down your guard around your heart and start living your life instead of just being. You are a successful and wanted heart surgeon, it is now time you put that effort into your personal life. I want my brother back the one I had before your parents died. You used to be so carefree; you used to enjoy life, you don't too that anymore. You just got through the motions, and it breaks my heart man. I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore. You need to see someone Edward. You need to break this now before you spiral down further, how could you ever expect to find your love and happiness, when you are closed off? I love you, just as I love Jasper, you are my brother and when you hurt, I hurt."

All I could do was nod and look into his eyes, he was serious. Emmett was laying it out there for me to see. I was getting it loud and clear. I knew I needed help to get past the pain but my pride was getting in the way.

"I second everything Emmett, just said, Edward," Jasper said. "The only thing I have to add is, I don't think you should give up the kids. I feel you need them now more than you realize. Once they get over the shock of what has happened to their parents, they will bring laughter and joy into your life. They will look up to you and want to be you. They will need you to show them to do certain things. For example, Ben, he is gifted at piano just like you and he will need your guidance. Tia's love for art, you can help it grow with your knowledge and passion for collecting and visiting all the shows that you do. You are good for them Edward, your self-loathing needs to stop. I have been telling you for years that you needed to speak to someone. I, like Emmett want my brother back–and I sure as hell will get him back–even if I have to kick your ass all the way to the therapist myself. You know I will get Emmett to help and on top of that I will bring Rose along to nag you!" Jasper was laughing at his own joke, while Rose slapped his shoulder.

"I do not nag!" Rose stated. "I do lecture, but only when someone does or says something stupid, and Edward? Some of what has come out of your mouth is utterly ridiculous. I have never in my life heard you say such garbage as you have today. I understand you are hurting and I will do everything in my power to help you get through that, but you need to start looking at the other side of the coin. You need to open those crystal green orbs of yours and see what you have been given. Do you know how hard it is for some people not to be able to conceive, let along be able to have two beautiful twins like you have been given? Yes, the way you were given them was not ideal. You have to learn that when life gives you lemons, you start making the fucking lemonade. Sorry Esme. Open your heart Edward let them in. I know you have not done that at all this week, and until you start doing that, those two are not going to trust you at all. And they will not communicate with anyone they don't trust."

Rose sat back into the couch. One thing I love about Rose, she says what she means and defiantly fucking means what she says. She shoots a straight arrow, and I can understand why Em loves her so. There was only one person left on that chair to tell me what she thought and I am not sure I really wanted to hear what she had to say. Alice had a way of getting under your skin and really making it itch, and I had a feeling that is what she was about to do.

"Edward, I can't say much more than what everyone else has said. But I will add, and what I am going to say might hurt but someone needs to say it. Alec and Jane would be disappointed in you if you gave up guardianship of those two precious kids. I would be disappointed in you. You need to start thinking of them–before–yourself. You need to work on your faults, you need to stand up and be the man we all know you can be. Stop being the person that lost everything, and open your eyes to see what you have gained. You have gained: us as a family, you have gained love, and most of all you have gained two little hearts that will make you proud and will be happy to call you daddy one day. It will take time, but mark my words it will happen and you know better than to bet against me!" Alice stared me down. I knew she was challenging me to say different and I knew she was right, but I did not feel that she was correct on this one. I still did not feel that I was the right person to mold Tia and Ben.

"Edward, you have heard everyone out and I know you might need time to think about it. We are not trying to back you into a corner. I feel that you should go home, think about what everyone has said, before you make your decision," Carlisle said.

"Actually, Carlisle, I don't need to think about it anymore. I know what I need to do and I have listened to what you all have said. I understand that you all want the person I was before my parents died back, but that is not going to happen. Yes I know that I need help to get myself into a better place but if you can't help me by taking the kids, than the only options is to give them up for adoption." The ladies in the room gasp. I went on and ignored them. "I will start looking on Monday for someone. I know I am disappointing you all but I _can't_ do this." I said, as I stood up and started pacing the room.

"Edward, you seriously feel this is for the best?" Alice said.

"Yes, Alice. I feel that if you, Jasper, Rose, or Emmett cannot help me out then, I have no other choice."

"You would give those kids up to a complete stranger, someone that could and might just take everything they have and run off with it. You are a disgrace Edward. I can't believe that you're a sought after heart surgeon, when you seemingly have no heart of your own. I mean who would do this to their dead brother's kids," Rose piped in. "You deserve to be alone!"

"Don't you think I don't know that I deserve to be alone? That is what I have been trying to fucking tell you." I shouted out in anger. "That is why I wanted one of you guys to take them, and give them the love they _deserve_!"

"Edward, dear calm down, there is no need to shout. We hear what you are saying and getting upset over it is not going to help." Esme said, she was always the peace keeper, "and watch your language there are kids in the house and they can hear."

"Sorry, Mom." I said, as I bowed my head in disgrace.

"We seem to be going around in circles, how about we leave it here for today. Edward take the children home and try and have a good night with them. By the sounds of it, they are limited. I will talk to Rebecca at work and see who is looking to adopt. Maybe if we can find a couple that comes from the same stature as our family we might not have a problem with the children being looked by someone else. Edward this is going to take time finding the right people to look after your brother's kids, unless we all agree on the couple or person you will not be able to give them up. Are we all agreed on this?" I was not sure what game Carlisle was playing at but I would agree for now.

Everyone nodded and said yes. I walked to the door to leave the lounge to go and get Tia and Ben when I turned around, I looked at them all. I could see the disgust written all over their faces. "I am sorry that I've disappointed everyone one of you. There is nothing I can say and I know I don't deserve to be part of your family–I have shamed you for the last time. I promise that once the adoption is through, you will never have to see me again! I can see it in your eyes what you all think of me and I don't think you will want me around once I have done this. I am sorry, again."

With that I went and retrieved the twins and walked back to the lounge. Everyone was sitting there in silence waiting for me to come back. They all hugged and kissed Ben and Tia goodbye. I was too ashamed to even look at my family, so I stayed at the door. Alice was the first to come over, for a small person she sure knew how to hug. I bent down so I could hug her properly.

"You have not shamed us Edward. You just don't realize what your potential is. I love you and always will," she whispered in my ear. I could feel tears on my cheek from her. I had to stay strong and not show any weakness.

I was shocked when Rose grabbed me from Alice and hugged me like my brother used to, she must be learning from Emmett. "Never presume you know what we are thinking. You will not abandon us, and we would never you. Keep strong Edward; be the man we know you can be. Don't give up on them yet. I love you, brother." She kissed my cheek and went over and sat back down next to Alice.

Emmett walked over to me and held out his hand. "See you tomorrow at work, Eddie. I love you man." With that he bear hugged me and lifted me off the ground. "Look after them, Eddie," he said once I was back on the ground.

Jasper had me worried, he was never the emotional one, but it looked like I had beaten the crap out of his puppy. He came over and hugged me, he did not bother with a handshake, and for the first time all day I felt calm. I always got this way in his presence, and I did not realize it was something I needed. He patted my back twice and moved back and stared straight into my eyes.

"Edward, if you ever say the garbage you said before you left this room again, I will kick your ass until it is black, blue and purple. Do you hear me?"

I nodded at him.

"Good, glad to see we are on the same page. Promise me before you even start the adoption process really think about what you are doing. I am not saying don't meet people but make no decisions, without us, please. I really feel you are making a mistake and once they are out of your life, you will realize that and it will be too late. I love you, you are my brother from another mother."

I laughed at what he said and for the first time today it felt good to laugh. I shook my head at him and walked the twins to the front door.

"I will see you both during the week. I have two night shifts that are on Wednesday and Thursday. Do you mind looking after the kids?"

"Not at all dear, drop them over before you go to work," Esme said. She came to me and hugged and kissed me.

Just as I was about to walk out the door, Carlisle called out to me. "Edward, I just wanted to let you know that if I find anyone. I will give you a call."

"Thanks dad, I will speak to you tomorrow."

With that I walked out the door and to the town car waiting, I buckled the kids in and then myself, and the driver left to take us home. During the ride, I looked back on what had happened that evening and how everyone was just worried about me.

Yeah I know I have to get help, but do I really want to spend hours talking about feelings, that I truly don't even want to admit to myself?

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

"Edward, are you fucking serious! I love you man! The playboy is back! It's about time you came to your senses about those to ankle-biters. I can't believe that you thought you might actually take on those rug-rats." I was listening to James rant and rave about my decision to give up the kids.

"Edward, are you listening to me man or am I talking to the wall? Because if I am talking to the wall, I am going out to bag me some!"

"James, I'm listening to you and thinking at the same time."

"Edward, when did you swap your dick for a vagina? Us men don't do two things at once, you're either listening or you're thinking, which one is it?"

"I heard every word you said, James, but I have a lot on my mind. Fuck… I can't do this tonight James, I have to go into surgery soon. I need to concentrate on some last minute preparation for it." I was starting to get agitated with James. I knew how he was going to take the news, but I don't have time for this conversation with him.

"Hey, man, back down off that horse. You and I need to talk about what you are doing. This affects me as much as you. You are my buddy! You are my pal, my wingman. We get shit faced together and bag the babes."

"James, really? When are you going to grow up? We're not in college any more. Yes, we have been wingmen for ages, but don't you want more from life? Don't you want to share it with someone?"

"Edward, you're scaring me. Where is the old Edward, the one that gets drunk, picks up the dregs of High Society, the guy that fucks and ducks? Come on man, you know you're not father material and what you are thinking of doing is good. Why should you have to take on the responsibility of those crib midgets? You were not that close to your brother anyway. So why the hell would he want someone like you to look after them? Give them to Jasper or Emmett. They seem to like those little drooling curtain climbers." James' body noticeable shivered, and I could not believe I was sitting here listening to him put my family down. My brother meant a lot to me, even though I didn't show it all the time.

"James, he was my brother. Don't disrespect him–he is not here to defend himself." I was pissed about the way he was speaking of Alec. I have lost everyone and everything. "I am going to surgery, so I'll see you later, James." I got up and left, I was beyond angry, but I couldn't let that get to me. I need to keep a level head on me.

Yes, I was an ass, but no one ever says anything bad about my family, and James knows that. I might not have been the best brother to Alec, but he knew I took my parents' death hard, and he allowed me to get away with a lot, and for that, I loved him more. What more can I say!

I was standing at the scrub sink washing my hands and arms when I started thinking about a time I had shared with my parents.

"_Edward, darling, are you ready? We are leaving in twenty minutes. We can't be late for your graduation," Elizabeth said._

"_Coming, Mom, I'll be there in a sec, just getting my cap and gown."_

_As I exited my room I ran into Alec. "Eddie, slow down, mom and dad are not going to leave without you." He said scuffing up my hair._

"_Alec, it took me forever to tame it, why would you do that? You know how hard it is; you were lucky you got dad's hair. I got mom's." I whined._

"_Come on bro – let's get you to school and graduated," Alec said, as he put his arm around me and lead me down the stairs. "You are now a full fledge Masen. You got three Ivy League offers, and we could not be more proud of you. I am proud to call you my younger brother. Do you know which one you are going to go to?"_

_I did not get time to answer; we were at the bottom of the stairs, and mom was rushing towards me. "Come on, Ed. I need to straighten your tie, and then we need to be going."_

_After she finished straightening my tie, she started shuffling us out the door and into the car. The ride over was full of laughter and jokes. I was glad to be finishing school and moving on with my life. I was glad to be leaving some of these people behind. I loved school and had made some wonderful friends there, but it was time to move on._

_I was going to spend the break with my cousins and friends in Europe. We were heading off in three days, and I was excited._

"_Ed, dear stop daydreaming, we're here at the auditorium, come on lets go and get you on stage so we can take lots of photos of you. Come on times a wasting!" my Mom said._

"_Dad are we still on for the game of football tomorrow?"_

"_Yes, Ed, so make sure that you get a lot of rest tonight. You are going to need it!"_

_I took off towards the back of the auditorium, stopping to turn around to see my father take my mother in his arms. He was whispering in her ear, and I could see the love they had for each other. My father was a tall solid man and my mother was small and petite. I noticed her look up lovingly into his eyes as he rested his forehead against her and smiled at her. I knew that one day I would find the love of my life, and we would share many moments like that. She would have to be just as special as my mother, and I would care for her just like my father did for my mother._

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard my name being called.

"Dr Masen, we are ready for you," the head nurse informed me. "Are you okay? You're looking a little pale?"

"I am fine, Sammy. I'll be there in a second. Make sure that they have my favorite Bach CD playing for me tonight."

"Got you covered, Doctor."

I shook my head to clear it and get my mind on the job. I could not be thinking about my family at this stage. I needed to go in there and do my job, even if I knew – I really wanted to be elsewhere.

~~~***~~~T H~~~***~~~

I got back to the apartment after forty straight hours of shift at the hospital. I knew I had to get the kids but I needed some sleep. What I really needed was my brain to shut off! I needed to let go of what happened at the hospital. I needed to let go of my responsibilities to my family. I just needed to let go of everything that had been building up over the last couple of weeks.

I walked into my bedroom, peeling of clothing as I went. I needed a shower before I did anything else. I needed to get the smell of hospital off me.

After I showered I wondered into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, went to the freezer and got ice and poured half a glass of whiskey.

I took my glass of whiskey and walked up the stairs to my piano. I ran my hand over the keys as I drank. I wanted to free my mind of everything tonight! I placed my glass on top of my piano, and braced my hands over the keys. The only thing that came to mind was Vespertina. So I let my fingers ghost over the keys softly as I played the calming sad song. I was unaware I has started to move from Vespertina to more from Mark Salona. Most of them being my mother's favorites–Novalessa, Donostia, Rambling Paths, Gallantina, and when I really took notice of what I was playing, it was Far from Time. It was the song my brother and I had chosen for my parent's funeral.

I played the song till the end; I closed the lid to my piano and laid my head down on it. I let out the sob I had been holding in for the last two weeks. I just sat there and let everything go! I let the anger, sadness, guilt, and unhappiness leave my body with the tears that were streaming down my face.

I cried for my parents. Not letting go of them had been the hardest for me. I thought if I let this go of these feelings, I would forget the little things–like the way my mother smelt when she cradled me close to her or the way my father's eyes sparkled when I did him proud. I thought I would forget the advice they told me on how to treat people, how to be the man they raised me to be.

Memories assaulted my mind of every important occasion I shared with my family. The emotions poured out of my body and I had to let it go. I had not realized that someone else was there with me until I was lifted and taken down the stairs.

I looked up into the eyes of my pseudo brother Emmett, and I saw the sorrow in his eyes. He placed me down on the couch and left me there. When he returned, I realize he left to get me some water. He shoved the glass into my hands and told me to drink.

When I looked up I noticed that everyone was here. I had been so lost in my own head that I did not even realize that they were standing there in front of me. Rose and Alice had tears steaming down their cheeks. Jasper looked beside himself, and Carlisle was cradling Esme into his chest.

"What are you all doing here?" I asked in a shaky voice, as my eyes darted from one to the other.

Carlisle was the first to talk. "We came to check on you and see if you wanted to have dinner with us. Alice came up to fetch you and when she heard you, she called all of us to come up. She was worried about you."

"I am fine… really. I thought I would let off some steam, play a few songs. When it turned into memory lane, it overwhelmed me and I had to let out some of the emotion I've been holding in since my parents passed away. I did not mean to scare you."

"Eddie, you have to get some help, you need to get back to the old you. This is your mind and body telling you what you needed to do. You can't keep pushing us away man, we are your family and hell will freeze over before I let you remove us from your life. I understand that you are hurting and have been since your parents passed–but Eddie man, you need a life also."

I felt someone kneel in front of me and I moved my eyes from Emmett to see my green eyes staring back at me. I saw Esme's pain, and I knew that it mirrored my own.

"Edward," Esme said, as she placed both of her hands on the side of my face. "What are you are doing to yourself is breaking my heart. I should have been a better mother to you and made you go to therapy after your parents died. I can't change that now, but I am not going to sit by and watch you destroy your life. Carlisle and I have made an appointment for you to see someone. If you do not like this person you can then find someone else on your own. You need to see someone, Edward. You need to let go of this pain that you are holding inside." I watch tears slide down Esme's face. "I am not being mean, I only care. You need to understand that you do deserve the happiness that we all have. You do deserve to find love–the love that we all share, the love your parents had, and the love your brother shared with Jane."

Once Esme finished, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged until I could not breath I did not realize that she was so strong. She let me go and walked back over to Carlisle.

I felt the couch beside me dip, and I looked to see that Rosalie had sat beside me.

"Edward, I know this feels like an intervention, but its not. We are all worried about you. I know that I am not always on your side, but I love you like you're my brother. I really want to see you reach your potential in everything you want. You have done that in your career but you need to now do that in your personal life. You need to choose your friends carefully and James should not be one of them. I understand why you feel you can't look after the twins, even if you don't," I looked at Rose wondering what she was talking about. "Don't look at me as if I am stupid, Alice and I have figured you out, you just have to catch up to us. Edward, I love you, I need you to start loving you. Please accept Esme's and Carlisle's help. I can't watch you fall down this hole any longer." Rose hugged me and kissed my cheek and got up and moved over to Emmett, who had moved while I was listening to Esme.

I sat there wondering what Rose was saying that she and Alice had figured out. What did they know that I didn't! I am not sure if I could do more of this. I knew that I needed help and I am grateful that they were making me realize this.

"Mas, I miss my brother, I miss my mate. You know – the one that knew how to have fun, the one that knew how to laugh – really laugh. The jokester you used to be. He has been lost for to long, I want and need him back." Jasper was staring me in the eyes. I knew that he was laying it on the line for me. "I know that you have heard what everyone else has said, but I am going to remind you of something you said to me a long time ago when I facing trouble at college. You said, 'Trouble is part of your life – if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.' That is what you are doing to all of us Edward, you are taking our love away from you, by closing down on us, building that wall that should not be there with us. You need to start knocking that wall down, and let us in. We are your family and we are here for you." Jasper put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. "I love you brother." Japer got up and walked over to where Alice was. He kissed her softly on the lips, whispered into her ear and released her.

I watched Alice walk over and sit beside me, her eyes were red and puffy. She took my hands in hers and I felt her body trembling.

"Edward, troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing, and I feel that you have nursed them enough. When I met you at school, we used to have so much fun, but the moment your parents died, you died along with them. You cut all of us off and turned to loose women, partying, and hanging with the likes of James. If you want what we have, you needed to let go of the partying lifestyle and grow up! You need to find someone that is your equal. Someone that enhances your qualities. Someone that wants the same things in life that you do, and is willing to compromise when the need arises. The reason you have not found it yet is because the women that you date are not after that. You even closed yourself off to the love that you want. Edward, unless you put out positive thoughts and feeling into the universe you are not going to get what you want. I love you, Edward. I'm here for you if you need me. I will help you with whatever you need." Alice started to let go of my hands after a final squeeze, and then wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed my cheek. She then leaned into my ear and whispered. "You are special Edward, you need to believe in it that!" She let go of me and walked back over to Jasper, he encased her into his arms.

The only person that had not said anything to me was Carlisle. He and Esme were the only ones I was frightened of disappointing, and it seems that I had done that. I hung my head in shame, and I should be ashamed of my behavior and myself since I had lost my parents.

Carlisle walked over and sat beside me, "Son, I can read your mind. I can see that you think that I am ashamed of you. Let me tell you know and then I don't want you thinking about that anymore. I am not now and will never be ashamed of anything you do. I might be disappointed – but never ashamed. When your parents died, I decided that I would step in and be the father figure you needed. I did everything in my power when they passed to get you to see someone. I was close to forcing you. I didn't want to loose you, I had already lost my best friend and brother-in-law. I knew if I forced you, he would turn in his grave. Like Esme I cannot sit by any longer. Son, you are in pain and you need to see someone. I will be here every step of the way. I know that right now you can't look after the twins, and I understand your reasons. But I do not want you to adopt them out. Alice and Rose are not able to take on the twins, so I have spoken to a lady by the name of Isabella. We are all meeting her in Central Park this weekend. I have made sure that your schedule is clear, and you will be there to meet the woman – that you want to give these precious gifts to."

I was shocked that he had gone ahead and found someone. I was sure that Alice or Rose would take the kids.

"Son, you made this decision. You told us last weekend that you couldn't keep the kids. I know you had your heart on one of us taking them, but Alice just found out that she is expecting again."

I looked over at Alice and she was nodding her head.

"It would be too much for her and Jasper, Rose is not able to with her schedule either. So this young lady, Bella, is willing to meet you and see what she can do. She is one of my patients and is going through AI procedures. She wants a large family and is willing to meet the twins. After you meet her it will up to the both of you to come to some sort of arrangement. If you still choose to adopt the children out – well – we will face that when we come to it. For now Edward, I need you to start looking after you. I need you to get this help we are offering, you need to be free of your demons. As everyone has said, you are worth loving and you deserve to be as happy as we all are. You need to find your penguin!" With that everyone started to laugh, Carlisle always knew how to break everyone out of the funk.

"Okay everyone lets have dinner here with Edward, instead of going out. Martha is looking after the kids tonight. We all took town cars, so lets get this party started," Emmett said.

With that we all headed to the kitchen, Esme and Rose started on the meal, Alice started setting the table and the men helped with whatever was asked of them. I walked over to Alice and pulled her into a tight hug to congratulate her, then went over and did the same to Jasper. I also got out a bottle of Verve and popped the cork so we could toast to both of them.

As the night went on, I was starting to feel some of the weight lift of my shoulders, I had decided that my family was correct. I needed to see someone and get every single emotion I was feeling out. I needed to live again. I was grateful for my family's intervention even though they did not call it that – it was!

They had saved my life again! It was now up to me to follow through and better myself. To find the old me again!

Authors Note:

I am sorry this is a week late. I was ready to post last week, but when I got the chapter back from Laura and I started to do my final edit, when my father started getting sick… let just say that at midnight I was sitting a hospital waiting for him to come back from his catscan… by 4 in the morning he was booked into the hospital with appendicitis.

I then had the wonderful chore of looking after him, it was manflu x 1000, I love my father and would walk over hot cols for him, but this is nothing I want to experience again. I do have a good memory from it; my father is very funny on drugs.

Thanks for understanding and I hope you all have a really good week. See you in three weeks.

Fiorella.


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